Thread: Mr/Ms Teakdoor 2008

DD -

The barrel-sized Harvey Wallbanger of the site, able to knock down 15-year olds with a single blow. He has battles with AA and his Methuselah-like age. Universally known in Pattaya and Jomtien as a master-ceiling builder and generaly nice knuckle-dragger, DD carries the nickname Teeny-Weeny, affectionately given to him by his many "Lub-You-Long-Time' friends in Soi 6.
Most people don't know that his avatar is actually his girlfriend

FriscoFrankie -

Frisco lives in a world of acid-induced euphoria, which explains his happy personality and his general sense of being oblivious to things burning down around him. A little-know fact is that Frankie once tried to enlist in the army . . . but they rejected him for being too uncontrollable . . . this was the Serbian Army.

November Rain -

NR loves dogs . . . much to the chagrin of her human partner who has to battle the canines off the bed every night, determined to be top-dog. From her background as the Duchess of Cornwall to the sandy shores as the Drama Queen of Hua Hin, November Rain is a staple at teakdoor, as much as baked beans are on an all-English . . .

AntRobertson -

From solid Scottish Communist stock comes our muscled maker of twins. And is the only human known to have left New Zealand for a life in Thailand, wags say it is because of some mysterious gang-bang in Christchurch in 1997 . . . involving 14 Kiwis (the birds).
Bolshie-Ant, as he is affectionately known to his friends keda and English Noodles, drives to his Better Red Than Dead meetings in his inconspicuous Mercedes 500SL

BoonMee -

is a lovable defender of all that is right and good in this world - as long as it is wrapped in the Stars and Stripes . . . and isn't black. A lover of good humour and funny pictures, his real personality has gone missing for the last few months, some say it is because of erections in a far-off land of milk and honey, others say it is due to Ansell ceasing production of red, white and blue, Mom's Apple-Pie flavoured, condoms.
(Special message - if anyone sees the real BoonMee, please report this to the local authorities who have found his lost sense of humour)

Blackgang -

The only man in Thailand to live way past his 150th birthday, Blackgang is loved by all and sundry, except blacks, Indians, Pakistanis, Muslims, Aborigines, Eskimo, WHO, Puerto Ricans, Homosexuals, Greenpeace, soi dogs, US Embassy Staff in Thailand and surrounding countries, doctors, Tongans, The Church of Latter Day Saints and anyone who tans easily and has black hair.
Blackgang has done for international relations what Hanibal Lecter did for vegetariansim.

Jet Gorgon -

what can be said about Jet Gordon, the lovable and cuddly, friendly and funny member of the well-known children's series Duddwy Wuddwy. Not much else so we proceed to Jet Gorgon, the arsenic-laced, maple-syrup sweet harlot of Sodom and Gomorrah. Often linked to be Blackgang's love-child, DNA tests have disproved this when Jet tried to cross the border to the promised land . . . North Dakota.
Jet is self-proclaimed retired millionaires who is editor in chief for Fortune, Time, Investor News and Mad Magazine.
Redder than red, whiter than white, bluer than blue . . . At least your mother loves you.

Terry57 -

As dinky as die, as true as blue, as cantankerous as Wilson Tuckey without his colostomy bag. Again, rumoured to be Blackgang's lovechild, so kin to Jet . . . but tests have proven that this is not so . . . only one of them is human. Terry's linguistic exploits have attracted attention from as far away as Burriram University of Modern Language and insiders claim to know that this venerable institution will be re-named Terry57-orca-scum-swilling-soi-dog-ejaculating School of English.

Texpat -

As dinky-die as Terry57 is an Aussie bastard, so Texpat is as Dan'l Boone as they come, complete with 'coonskin cap (not Blackgang's definition of coon). Having grown up in Korea, Japan, Guatemala and wherever his country deemed him to go, Texpat may not know his nation's capitol but he will defend everyone's right not to know as well.
A balanced and fair individual, Texpat has won many friends on TeakDoor with his kind yet incisive, gentle yet cutting, caustic yet understanding nauture.
Texpat, we salute you.

Panama Hat -

What can be said about this clearly above-average human being. Shall we talk about his charitable work? His kindness to stray animals? His generous disposition? His rapier-like wit? His general brilliance? A dashing and debonair man whose intelligence makes the likes of Nelson Mandela and Einstein blush, whose brute strength caused Hercules to cry, his . . . Oh . . . this is supposed to be realistic?
Some say he is dim, kinder souls say he is conserving energy.
Umm . . . . . PH is a good guy. . . umm . . . yes, that's it. Nice chap. Really.

JandaJoy -

JJ is a lover of all things Joy-related, be it her Shakespearean vocabulary or her satisfyingly generous rump (see picture below.) JJ is a flattish lad (again, see picture below) with great ambitions, he lives on a hillside with hobbits and other small brown people who are known to be great hunters of the dangerous menace of the deep . . . the catfish.
While everything possible is known about Janda's Joy - from toenail clippings to which black rinse she uses for her weekly-hair dye - very little is know about Janda himself.
An enigma for us all, surely. An enema for Joy, absolutely.

CMN -

a veritable giant of a man, he is known to have swilled 254 bottles of Vodka in a single sitting, smoked 11.835 cigarettes a night and banged 18 Porntips at the same time . . . with his partner Somchai . . .
Those days may be over, but CMN still has Somchai.
One of the original members of TeakDoor, he will always be fondly remembered . . . much like the first drummer for the Beatles . . . umm . . . anyway. yes, much like that guy.

EmperorTud -

An old school Calvinist, still a virgin until he finds his sought-after Jezebel, ET roams the internet waving placards and warning anyone and everyone about the danger of coming to Thailand. Independent tests have show that Thailand is the most dangerous place for Britons . . . unless you count Scotland.
A veritable maestro with the spanner and wrench, his friendship with AntAnderson is a refreshing sight as they sashay into the sunset, hand-in-hand, at peace with one and another.

DJPat -

has fantasies of sweaty Germans crapping on him.

You may get the odd red for that, but very funny all the same.

DJPat -

has fantasies of sweaty Germans crapping on him.


Now that is funny

That brilliant Hat. Well done. 5555555

Worth a pile of greens, but I'm out of ammo.

Very good. well put together. Now fock off and die.......

Originally Posted by Loombucket

You may get the odd red for that, but very funny all the same.

No reds yet, but there is still time . . .

I actually stiffed it up, was supposed to be a poll, but had to go out . . . by which time the 20-minute limit was breached . . . 20 minutes? weird.

Anyway, all a bit of fun . . . (ducking)

A tad lacking on the Mrs. mate.

Now that would be dangerous territory.

Funny. Perhaps your most factual post to date.

Brill, either that or some real rotten drugs...

Originally Posted by TizMe

I'm out of ammo.

Is that what you say to the girls?

Originally Posted by jandajoy

Now fock off and die

Originally Posted by jandajoy

A tad lacking on the Mrs. mate

Methinks thou protest too much . . . I didn't want to exaggerate with Ms Joy

Originally Posted by Texpat

Perhaps your most factual post to date.

I felt it was time to up my game . . . nothing but quality like this from me as of now

Bloody good effort mate and worth all the greens your thread rightfully deserves.

Great effort! Thought it was pretty funny! Gotta send ya a green for that one!

Reading some greens . . . thanks all . . .


Had some time on my hands, kids having a nap, Mrs Hat as well . . .

I wanted to add some more but ran out of time . . . badlrick (bag full of arseholes? ), Loy Toy, Keda, Begbie, Chitown, Momo8, Dalton, CSFFan, Rigger . . . etc . . . your time may yet come!

very funny indeed!

A good laugh, well done.

Facts wrong again, Hatter. I own Exxon Mobil. A sweet effort on your part, but I'm gonna red you anyway.

^ And she did . . . the only one out of 20 greens . . .

Ah, she is special, like the soi dog who limps along the road and everyone feels sorry for it but no-one would touch it . . .

Mr/Ms Teakdoor 2008 02-11-2008 01:57 AM Jet Gorgon Boring fiction. Cute pictures tho.


Yes, Jet . . . Fiction. Very good! Top of the class . . . of one.

Hope you enjoyed it, Jet, it is called wit and humour

Originally Posted by panama hat

Hope you enjoyed it, Jet, it is called wit and humour

Originally Posted by panama hat

^ And she did . . . the only one out of 20 greens . . .

To late for humor. Hell hath no fury like a lovers scorn.

^ Yes, but what happens between Jet and her battery-powered lover has nothing to do with me . . .

All just a bit of fun . . . don't feel too secure, Norton . . . a second edition could creep up any time . . .

Originally Posted by panama hat

All just a bit of fun . . . don't feel too secure, Norton . . . a second edition could creep up any time . . .

It is a good thread but couldn't green you. Out of ammo. Will try again.

Originally Posted by Norton

Originally Posted by panama hat

All just a bit of fun . . . don't feel too secure, Norton . . . a second edition could creep up any time . . .

It is a good thread but couldn't green you. Out of ammo. Will try again.

Oh, including you in part II wasn't a threat . . .

^Will red you now just incase.

Thanks,mate . . . you're still on the list!

Ant 'Red', and Drama Queen of Hua Hin . . .

Sabang - darn, forgot to include you . . . time will tell!

A lesson why hotlinking is not good.