Thread: People that hang around toilets in bars

A simple "mai ow krap" works wonders.

Originally Posted by Doggsy

starts to massage your back whilst you are having a piss. merrily pissing away then somebody startles the shit out of you, makes you piss down your leg and onto your foot

They massage your back while you're pissing? Really?

Hah! I knew there had to be advantages to being a women & having to wait in line for bloody ages for a cubicle.

they not only massage your back but it is that two handed side hand slap thing they do so if they catch you off balance it could have severe consequences for the state of your trouser/shorts front.

Sabai bar on koh chang is a bugger for it

I love it. Nobody told me they wanted a tip, and the experience of pissing in a bog with someone massaging my shoulders is mildly exhilarating. If you don't like it, don't tip them. Never had any hassle with a polite thankyou and just buggering off .

I first encountered that whilst on a short trip to Chaing Mai. There I was, busting for a wee, seppartated from the group, dressed in black with very long white hair, having lost it's pony-tail elastic, and pissed as a fart. Thinking back on it, I was an easy target and it wasn't long before five of them had me cornered. They showed me how to flush, how to turn on the taps, how to fit the plug in and tried to assist in doing up my zip.

At this point, I rattled off a few lines of absolute rubbish in a heavy French accent and started looking annoyed. They showed me some baht coins and started gesticulating that they wanted some more. I gave them another round of bad French and the contents of my right pocket. This consisted of about 15 one baht coins, 7 English pence, two 'penny' washers and some Monopoly money, left over from a game we had had a few days before. I siezed the initiative and wobbled back out into the lobby, where I was collected by the group leader and led to a place of safety. God knows what would have happened, had I needed to wee again.

I find that the attended toilets are in most cases cleaner, and I happily pay a small tip for somebody having removed the droppings from the previous costumer before I get there.
What is bad is many of the Farang bar toilets, that after one visit have you stinking like an ammonia bomb for the rest of the night, that is where I don't leave a tip when I pay the bill.

see now tipping when i leave a bill in my mind doesnt concern whether the toilet is clean or not, it is more on the speed, efficiency and friendliness of service. I guess i could now incorporate this new criteria into my tipping habits and see if it has a large enoguh effect for me to save enoguh for a kebab on the way home!

Originally Posted by Loombucket

I first encountered that whilst on a short trip to Chaing Mai. There I was, busting for a wee, seppartated from the group, dressed in black with very long white hair, having lost it's pony-tail elastic, and pissed as a fart. Thinking back on it, I was an easy target and it wasn't long before five of them had me cornered. They showed me how to flush, how to turn on the taps, how to fit the plug in and tried to assist in doing up my zip.

Long white hair and dressed in black - possibly Thai Ghosts - did they speak with a lot of echo and reverb efffects?

Actually I've got another topper idea

Before you go out on the piss Bolt down the 7-11 buy an industrial size pack of old lady's sanitary napkins. When you've had a skinful in the pub and have to drain the nurry sack you can just piss away merrily in ya undies.

Save ya self 20 baht. ??. Ya gota pay for the napkins but fok it as its the principal.

Nothing worse than needing to unleash a beast in Public. I hate it when the bogs in full attendence and you have to pebbledash the bowl with each ass explosion. Worse that happen with me was in the MBK after the cinema and I had to squirt one out. Didn't realise you had pay for the paper to wipe so I'm marooned with no paper and shit all over my ring.

Thank fok I didn't leave my mineral water with the missus, had to proper wash my ass in the cubicle with my bare hand and give 'em a good cleaning afterwards. I remember I hesitated about taking the water into the crappers; someone was looking down on me that day

What would you have done? I can't think what the fok I would have done if I had no water - Its fokin embarrasing to walk around after a turd and asking someone where the roll is and then going back in the lavvy to polish up.

Commando sacrifice your underwear -- or if you have any British Pounds in your wallet, wrinkle them up real good and avoid the sharp edges. A paper-cut there can be quite uncomfortable.

Originally Posted by Texpat

Commando sacrifice your underwear

Done that years before in a field behind a bush in South Wales years back; been ill in bed for three days without going for a dump, suddendly dropped after I had the strength to go for a walk. Can't understand why I didn't think of that this time round

Originally Posted by Texpat

Commando sacrifice your underwear -- or if you have any British Pounds in your wallet, wrinkle them up real good and avoid the sharp edges.

The toilet scum are no different than any other beggar in Thailand

I never tip these scum

Originally Posted by terry57

What about when your at M.B.K. dying to back one out the size of an air craft carrier and those ladies are always cleaning the shitter right next to you ???

Originally Posted by Texpat

I dig deep for the nastiest gnarliest growler I can summon and let 'er rip.

Teakdoor inventive sayings have been expanded . . . well done, lads!