Thread: self exam to see if maybe you are gay.

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay — it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog… “Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!” Now think about how you call a cat…”Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!” Jeeezus, you’re fit to be framed, you’re so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and your in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s world is his bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you own designer kneepads. A straight man will never be heard ordering a “Decaf Soy Latte”. If you’ve put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you’ve had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn’t have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a “fressier” is you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a fag.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut off the jerk. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a burger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker!!

Originally Posted by blackgang

If you know more than six names of non standard colors

Damn! I knew going to school and studying art wasn't right.

Originally Posted by blackgang

If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to tune a meat whistle.

I think growing up in Europe makes you exempt. We have roads with corners so therefore learn to drive properly.

Otherwise, I did ok.

Originally Posted by blackgang

If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you own designer kneepads.

Where I can I find real regular Coffee in the can in Thailand??

Attn of BG, hypothetical question only, if for instance a guy went to Soi 6 in Pattaya Tuesday night and while getting a BJ from what he thought was a girl but on checking the undercarriage discovered it had dangly bits, but as the BJ was very good decided to let her/him/it carry on, would that be gay ? my mate wants to know like.

Originally Posted by peterpan

my mate wants to know like.

Yeah.....riiiiight !!

Originally Posted by peterpan

? my mate wants to know like.

Like, WOW, I guess everyone could get caught up in the moment PP, But I am no expert on that subject, So just tell your Friend to be careful like.

Originally Posted by Rigger

Shit looks like I am gay then as there has been a few in the middle east that I have refused to use.

I know, some of them are bad, so I have went out and shit beside the pickup in the sand a few times, even if you was up on a box I think that would still be to close to the nasty floor for my liking.

Got a problem with 4
The toilets in this country stink and I hate squatting for a dump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by blackgang

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list

if you forward emails that don't involve a picture of a cute chick you are probably a
NAGC ( new age gay cnut )

Originally Posted by peterpan

Attn of BG, hypothetical question only, if for instance a guy went to Soi 6 in Pattaya Tuesday night and while getting a BJ from what he thought was a girl but on checking the undercarriage discovered it had dangly bits, but as the BJ was very good decided to let her/him/it carry on, would that be gay ? my mate wants to know like.

Guys know what guys want and like.

Here's a test:

Count the number of posts made by a user on here over the last 7 days that reference homosexuality; anal sex; gays; or other such topics.

I reckon blackgang's gotta be into the dozens by now! Veritably obsessed he his

What do you call someone who fantasizes about Lesbians?

Originally Posted by sabang

What do you call someone who fantasizes about Lesbians?

Completely normal. Healthy in fact.

Originally Posted by sabang

What do you call someone who fantasizes about Lesbians?

Anti-Gay?

I think the OP has just described Homer Simpson (NO disrespect intended JJ)

Agree with some of BGs check list but fail miserably regarding others.

A sweet tooth yes, colours > gotta know them all, beer gut growing but I can still see my dick without the need of mirrors, driving with 2 hands on the wheel when I am shit faced only. Half gay fool probably and as best described and after completing the check list!

I fail on points 5, 6 and 7 above...

And also on Peterpans Soi 6 scenario...

I will use any old toilet for a dump though..... But I do enjoy a blast of the hose before wiping dry....

I know a bloke who passes on all those except #8 and he's as gay as BlackGang, only slightly more open about it.

Originally Posted by chitown

Where I can I find real regular Coffee in the can in Thailand??

You mean tasteless Merkin shite? Maxwell House?! WTF?!?

Nowhere hopefully.

Originally Posted by blackgang

“fressier”

BG what's a fressier?

Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince

BG what's a fressier?

I think it's 'gay speak' for something.

Blackgang and 'partner' in undated picture, circa 1923:

Antsy sure must have it bad for me, anytime I post a thread or even answer a post he is right there and always makes mulit posts on my threads, just can't stay away from me.
Hows them ABs coming with your new used gym equip,.??

But to tell you again Anty boy,, I just do not like guys so it is better to just keep cruising queer ally and that way you won't get your feeling hurt, no one likes rejection I know but...

Originally Posted by blackgang

Antsy sure must have it bad for me, anytime I post a thread or even answer a post he is right there and always makes mulit posts on my threads, just can't stay away from me.

It's not paranoia if people are really out to get you, blackgang. Exaggerate much?

Hows them ABs coming with your new used gym equip,.??

Been reading my threads have you?

But to tell you again Anty boy,, I just do not like guys so it is better to just keep cruising queer ally and that way you won't get your feeling hurt, no one likes rejection I know but...

Yes because if I were gay scrawny old men would be what I was into.

Hey Anty, while you are following and dreaming about me do you actually hum and sound like Tiny Tim when ya do your Two Lips song,, tell us what words you have changed to make it fit the occasion,,,, Slip it,,,,,,,, thru my 2 lips,,,,,,,,,, to meeeeeeeee....

^blackgang I'm sorry but I'm not interested. It's nothing you did or said, it's me.*






























*I think I can find someone a lot more attractive than you.