my ex wife turned into a tree!
i have never been a religious person, and have always laughed at the silly superstitions and beliefs that accompany many religious beliefs, but since my ex croaked, i started to kinda like the idea of this reincarnation thing, and when i got back to the village, crouching on the crapper in her parents' home after my first issaan meal, i noticed this large cockroach crawling up the wall.......
it kinda stopped at eye level, looked at me and waved its antennae at me in a rather insolent and crude way. i was immediately reminded of my ex, and as i slowly seperated "her" legs from "her" body, laughing crazily, i thought:" hey, this buddist thing isn't so bad after all- you can get even with people even ater they have croaked!"
after slowly heating its abdomen with my lighter until it burst, i felt really satisfied with myself, the burned fingertips were but a small price to pay for the pleasure i had gotten from this important act of revenge......
next morning my bubble burst:
grandma dragged my kids around the back of the house, and explained to them that their mother had come back as a tree! she knelt in front of it, speaking softly, and spread some rice and some water around for "her" to eat and drink.
every morning she repeats the ritual, speaking softly to the tree for twenty or so minutes.
it is a shit-ugly tree, and after the old bat leaves, the chickens come and steal all the rice, and then it is my turn to go and liberally soak the roots and scrawny trunk in urine, and slowly, very painfully pull a few leaves off of the bitch.
how the hell did she pull it off? i really had my heart set on her returning as a cockroach.....
can anybody who knows a bit about reincarnation please throw some light on the subject: is it really possible to be reincarnated as a tree, or are they just trying to keep me away from the cockroaches, for fear of me getting even with the right one?