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  1. #1
    anonymous ant
    tsicar's Avatar
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    tsicar returns to isaan

    it is 6am and the "taxi " driver wakes me up to say we have nearly arrived at the village and i peer through my hangover to be greeted by the familiar sight of the thai "national flower", its plastic petals littering the roadside and the fields and my first reaction is to ask myself: "whaddafuk am i doing back here?"
    we travel on and i see some familiar faces, plus the familiar thai vegetables, - you know, the ones they cultivate in those coarse nets slung between two trees or beneath a sala.- the ones they feed a liquid fertilizer made from distilled fermented rice.
    nothing ever really seems to change in isaan.....
    it has rained a bit and the women are out in the fields planting cassava to earn some money to buy more liquid fertilizer for the cherished vegetables.and some bald barefoot minstrels in orange robes are humming tunes to a bunch of old women kneeling before them with offerings of rice and cigarettes.
    we get to "grandma's house" and i pay the driver and start handing out some money to the "ex family"s kids. (firk! there are hundreds of the bloody things.) why do they breed like this if they are so poor?
    i really need another beer and i walk over to the refrigerator for a quart of warm chang and i settle down to drink it and listen to all the tales of woe and the inflation rate is so high and everything costs so bloody much.
    i notice that the beer still costs about the same and the laow khow ,they tell me, has actually dropped in price and i wonder what the hell they are whingeing about.........
    i go down to what is left of my "house" and dig out the tatty little piscreek jap motorbike and spend most of the day trying to get it running again.
    next day the kids and i tour the village, visiting some old aquaintances to gather information about the "ex" wife's estate (an whole 'nother story that i will post in the legal section when i finally get the whole thing over and done with)
    out of politeness i have to make a show of eating some of the putrid food they have proudly prepared for me and it is all i can do not to puke right there and then, and i tell them that "it was delicious, thank you, but i am really not hungry now...."
    i am treated well by everybody as usual, even the ex's family smile and make small talk and they don't know that i know that they are trying to screw me over again and i smile in the knowledge that i know what they dont want me to know and they must be bloody stoopid to think that i am so stoopid as not to know what they think i don't know.....
    i go to visit "paa", the ex brother in law's kinda ex wife since he got kicked out of his house by paa's brother coz he thunk that he was boinking his wife but meanwhile tsicar had been boinking her and nobody knows tho they suspect it but the brother in law is still the prime suspect and has not been able to return to his home for three years for fear of being killed.
    paa is a big, dominating thai woman with the hairiest legs i ever saw and i would not like to meet her on a dark alley, but she is a bloody good cook and she has all the info i need and she spills the beans because she wants revenge on the same family i am busy taking revenge on. her brother arrives and joins us (the guy whose wife i was boinking and the brother in law story and all), and he has brought some of his famous home made alcohol -not the "rice-soup" tsaa-toh stuff they make from rice but this stuff comes from the fruit of some kind of palm tree and the fruit is "milked" while still on the tree by sticking in bamboo chopsticks, then joining them together with a latticework of more chopsticks, finally dripping down into a collection bottle.
    i have to be wary of the bugger coz he is a nasty piece of work and we have some "history" but i see he is drinking the stuff, too and i have a couple of litres of the stuff which tastes like insecticide, but surely he wouldn't drink it if it contained insecticide?.....never take anything for granted in isaan! just before i leave, he informs me that i should not worry about the fact that i will wake up with a distended stomach: it is quite normal after drinking this stuff, since one of the added ingredients is a good dose of deworming medicine!!
    a few days more of the warm chang and i start to lose my culture shock and the boredom sets in again. i am back for a couple of weeks only this time and there is no time to get back to building the rest of my "house" and the new catfish tanks and i wonder how farang who have nothing else to do manage to cope in isaan.
    for me, there is no real reason i keep returning: i do not like the culture, the food; am not really fond of the isaan people. i like the women, but then there are women in every country. but there is something that keeps pulling me back. the place has infected me. and i know that i will be back again.
    once isaan gets under your skin, there is no going back
    you have been warned.........................

  2. #2
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Yes it's nice up in Issan isn't it - I enjoyed my stay, perfect antidote to Bkk but I suppose it would get boring after a while.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
    davearn's Avatar
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    02-04-2018 @ 09:53 AM
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    Been once and in no hurry to head back

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
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    07-12-2019 @ 07:44 PM
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    I like 'modified' Isaan- village life, but falang comforts available within reasonable driving distance.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
    Driventowin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsicar
    even the ex's family smile and make small talk and they don't know that i know that they are trying to screw me over again and i smile in the knowledge that i know what they dont want me to know and they must be bloody stoopid to think that i am so stoopid as not to know what they think i don't know.....
    Easy for you to say!! NOT so easy to read ...Welcome back..
    Last edited by Driventowin; 05-04-2008 at 12:01 PM.

  6. #6
    Tiger Bay
    CharleyFarley's Avatar
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    27-01-2011 @ 01:57 AM
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    Chang has gone to 105 Bt for three here.

    I paid 45 Bt per bottle by the lake yesterday.

    Anyway it beats paying 90 Bt a small one on Phuket beach.

    Good to see u back Tsicar.

    I'm pulling those 30,000 catfish next week...wonder how many Kilo's Ill get.
    "The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    astasinim's Avatar
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    21-07-2019 @ 04:40 PM
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    Another interesting read tsicar.

  8. #8
    Not an expat
    Fabian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp View Post
    Yes it's nice up in Issan isn't it - I enjoyed my stay, perfect antidote to Bkk but I suppose it would get boring after a while.
    For me it always was after a week, but everyone is different.

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