Thais, buys and maipen rais

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 03:55 PM

I went to the market to buy a banana, and I didn't want a bunch of bananas, and I didn't want a bunch of them 'fun size' bananas and I didn't want a bunch of three or four greenish bananas - just one for my morning shake as I still have half a pineapple in my fridge.

Anyway, there was this one solitary banana that was ripe, maybe a little over as it had black streaks on it - so I point to it and the Thai lady points to the fun size bananas and says (in Thai) "These?"

I said (in Thai) "No not those, right a bit" and she pointed to the bunch of greenish bananas and she says (in Thai) "These?" and I said (in Thai) no, left a bit and she pointed to the solitary banana I wanted and she says (in Thai) "What, this fucking thing?" and I said (in English) "That's the one".

Anyway, she just gives it to me and says (in Thai) "Don't worry about it" with a smile.

I said, "You what - not even 5 baht?" and offered her the silver coin, and she waved her hand and gave a little laugh and said (in Thai) "Maipen-fookin-rai".

Very baffled and trying to figure out what the catch was, I wondered if the sneaky bitch was trying to trick me into tipping her 20 baht for her generosity - which was obviously not generosity at all, just a ploy to get something from the farang.

Anyway... I, Scampy, had the last laugh as I said (in Thai) "Why, thankyou very much miss, I shall come here again" gave her a smile and a wai and fucked off leaving her empty handed.

Ha! Scampy 1 - Thais 0.

**Kryptonite** · 29-03-2008, 04:23 PM

Good on ya!

But watch out mate. Those sneaky old wenches probably got some master plan in store for you. Keep your wits about ya.

**Texpat** · 29-03-2008, 04:29 PM

My wife's friend used to sell fruit from a mobile stall in Chinatown. Be careful. Word on the street is those brown streaks aren't, how shall we say this, native to the fruit ...

**MeMock** · 29-03-2008, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

Ha! Scampy 1 - Thais 0.

You got a free banana and claim to have one up on the market lady?

Loser

**MeMock** · 29-03-2008, 04:44 PM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

gave her a wai

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 05:03 PM

^ Yeah, what's wrong with waiing a banana lady? She was oder than me.

Originally Posted by Tex

Word on the street is those brown streaks aren't, how shall we say this, native to the fruit ...

That's alright mate, I don't eat the skin.

**MeMock** · 29-03-2008, 05:04 PM

Do you wai everyone who is older then you?

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 05:06 PM

Only if I get something for free or if I bump into them.

**kingwilly** · 29-03-2008, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by MeMock

Do you wai everyone who is older then you?

he understands thailand now!

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 05:18 PM

no fucking idea - BUT
Scampy says: (17

35)
If the Mac was purchased in Thailand, it should be possible
Scampy says: (17

46)
can I ask u a qeuestion?
Thai lady says: (17:14:01)
sure
Scampy says: (17:14:06)
KW is laughing at me because I said I only wai people older than me or if I bump into someone
Scampy says: (17:14:13)
Have I got it right?
Thai lady says: (17:14:17)
sure
Scampy says: (17:14:19)
When is the right time to wai?
Scampy says: (17:14:23)
yeah?
Scampy says: (17:14:33)
the foking bugger - I'll get him!

**kingwilly** · 29-03-2008, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

no fucking idea - BUT Scampy says: (1735) If the Mac was purchased in Thailand, it should be possible Scampy says: (1746) can I ask u a qeuestion? Thai lady says: (17:14:01) sure Scampy says: (17:14:06) KW is laughing at me because I said I only wai people older than me or if I bump into someone Scampy says: (17:14:13) Have I got it right? Thai lady says: (17:14:17) sure Scampy says: (17:14:19) When is the right time to wai? Scampy says: (17:14:23) yeah? Scampy says: (17:14:33) the foking bugger - I'll get him!

erm, how is that mean u got me??

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 05:31 PM

Don't 'erm..' me in that tone, who do you think you are - Blake7?

**kingwilly** · 29-03-2008, 05:34 PM

uh, been drinking again have we?

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 05:36 PM

Why don't you bugger off and go trolling somewhere else, go on... Or ring up Mrs Q in SK and sing 'My Boy Lollipop' down the phone.

Don't forget the 'da da da da' at the end of each verse.

**kingwilly** · 29-03-2008, 06:02 PM

oh goody, Scampy's imaginary best friend is back.

**November Rain** · 29-03-2008, 06:05 PM

Scampy, is this the first time a Thai's given you anything for free? They give me stuff for free all the time. I think they feel sorry for me...

Actually, they don't give me free stuff - they give it to my son

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 06:07 PM

Crow Boy thinks he's made me lose face.

**kingwilly** · 29-03-2008, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

Crow Boy thinks he's made me lose face.

not you too!

**Thetyim** · 29-03-2008, 06:09 PM

^
maybe Scampy is EN

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 06:17 PM

EN? Explain pls Thet.

**Thetyim** · 29-03-2008, 06:20 PM

^
English Noodles

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 07:02 PM

No I'm not him, what gives you that idea?

**Thetyim** · 29-03-2008, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

No I'm not him, what gives you that idea?

Oh dear

EN thinks that KW=CB
Then you referred to KW as CB

**Wally Dorian Raffles** · 29-03-2008, 07:15 PM

The somtam lady across from my building used to give me free somtam and sticky rice, and the noodle guy free noodles whenever i was broke and i asked them to. then one day i spent all of my money in pattaya on women and wine and had no money for the 450 bath taxi ride when i arrived home. the somtam lady gave me 300baths and the noodle guy 100. the problem was, i was still 50baths short. Some friends they turned out to be.

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 29-03-2008, 07:23 PM

I suppose what I am trying to say is that not all Thai's are greedy... They say there's no such thing as a free lunch in Thailand, and i'f I'd had that banana for my lunch it would have proved that saying wrong.

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