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  1. #1
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Thais, buys and maipen rais

    I went to the market to buy a banana, and I didn't want a bunch of bananas, and I didn't want a bunch of them 'fun size' bananas and I didn't want a bunch of three or four greenish bananas - just one for my morning shake as I still have half a pineapple in my fridge.

    Anyway, there was this one solitary banana that was ripe, maybe a little over as it had black streaks on it - so I point to it and the Thai lady points to the fun size bananas and says (in Thai) "These?"

    I said (in Thai) "No not those, right a bit" and she pointed to the bunch of greenish bananas and she says (in Thai) "These?" and I said (in Thai) no, left a bit and she pointed to the solitary banana I wanted and she says (in Thai) "What, this fucking thing?" and I said (in English) "That's the one".

    Anyway, she just gives it to me and says (in Thai) "Don't worry about it" with a smile.

    I said, "You what - not even 5 baht?" and offered her the silver coin, and she waved her hand and gave a little laugh and said (in Thai) "Maipen-fookin-rai".

    Very baffled and trying to figure out what the catch was, I wondered if the sneaky bitch was trying to trick me into tipping her 20 baht for her generosity - which was obviously not generosity at all, just a ploy to get something from the farang.

    Anyway... I, Scampy, had the last laugh as I said (in Thai) "Why, thankyou very much miss, I shall come here again" gave her a smile and a wai and fucked off leaving her empty handed.

    Ha! Scampy 1 - Thais 0.
    "I'm an outsider by choice, but not truly. It's the unpleasantness of the system that keeps me out. I'd rather be in, in a good system. That's where my discontent comes from: being forced to choose to stay outside.
    My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place."

    George Carlin

  2. #2
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    Good on ya!


    But watch out mate. Those sneaky old wenches probably got some master plan in store for you. Keep your wits about ya.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    My wife's friend used to sell fruit from a mobile stall in Chinatown. Be careful. Word on the street is those brown streaks aren't, how shall we say this, native to the fruit ...

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp View Post

    Ha! Scampy 1 - Thais 0.
    You got a free banana and claim to have one up on the market lady?

    Loser

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp View Post
    gave her a wai

  6. #6
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^ Yeah, what's wrong with waiing a banana lady? She was oder than me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tex
    Word on the street is those brown streaks aren't, how shall we say this, native to the fruit ...
    That's alright mate, I don't eat the skin.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    Do you wai everyone who is older then you?

  8. #8
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Only if I get something for free or if I bump into them.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by MeMock
    Do you wai everyone who is older then you?


    he understands thailand now!

  10. #10
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    no fucking idea - BUT
    Scampy says: (1735)
    If the Mac was purchased in Thailand, it should be possible
    Scampy says: (1746)
    can I ask u a qeuestion?
    Thai lady says: (17:14:01)
    sure
    Scampy says: (17:14:06)
    KW is laughing at me because I said I only wai people older than me or if I bump into someone
    Scampy says: (17:14:13)
    Have I got it right?
    Thai lady says: (17:14:17)
    sure
    Scampy says: (17:14:19)
    When is the right time to wai?
    Scampy says: (17:14:23)
    yeah?
    Scampy says: (17:14:33)
    the foking bugger - I'll get him!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    no fucking idea - BUT Scampy says: (1735) If the Mac was purchased in Thailand, it should be possible Scampy says: (1746) can I ask u a qeuestion? Thai lady says: (17:14:01) sure Scampy says: (17:14:06) KW is laughing at me because I said I only wai people older than me or if I bump into someone Scampy says: (17:14:13) Have I got it right? Thai lady says: (17:14:17) sure Scampy says: (17:14:19) When is the right time to wai? Scampy says: (17:14:23) yeah? Scampy says: (17:14:33) the foking bugger - I'll get him!
    erm, how is that mean u got me??

  12. #12
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Don't 'erm..' me in that tone, who do you think you are - Blake7?

  13. #13
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    uh, been drinking again have we?

  14. #14
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Why don't you bugger off and go trolling somewhere else, go on... Or ring up Mrs Q in SK and sing 'My Boy Lollipop' down the phone.

    Don't forget the 'da da da da' at the end of each verse.

  15. #15
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    oh goody, Scampy's imaginary best friend is back.

  16. #16
    The cold, wet one
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    Scampy, is this the first time a Thai's given you anything for free? They give me stuff for free all the time. I think they feel sorry for me... Actually, they don't give me free stuff - they give it to my son

  17. #17
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Crow Boy thinks he's made me lose face.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    Crow Boy thinks he's made me lose face.
    not you too!

  19. #19
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    ^
    maybe Scampy is EN

  20. #20
    たのむよ。
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    EN? Explain pls Thet.

  21. #21
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    ^
    English Noodles

  22. #22
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    No I'm not him, what gives you that idea?

  23. #23
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    No I'm not him, what gives you that idea?
    Oh dear

    EN thinks that KW=CB
    Then you referred to KW as CB

  24. #24
    IV
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    The somtam lady across from my building used to give me free somtam and sticky rice, and the noodle guy free noodles whenever i was broke and i asked them to. then one day i spent all of my money in pattaya on women and wine and had no money for the 450 bath taxi ride when i arrived home. the somtam lady gave me 300baths and the noodle guy 100. the problem was, i was still 50baths short. Some friends they turned out to be.

  25. #25
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    I suppose what I am trying to say is that not all Thai's are greedy... They say there's no such thing as a free lunch in Thailand, and i'f I'd had that banana for my lunch it would have proved that saying wrong.

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