Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 55
  1. #1
    Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Last Online
    21-01-2013 @ 10:50 PM
    Posts
    153

    Tales of a disgruntled expat

    Hello gents, I need to get some things off my chest. I have just realized that I have become a disgruntled expat. I am doing things that are pretty much uncalled for. Here is a list of things that I see myself doing that I would have never thought I would be doing as a human being:



    1) After a meal at any restaraunt, I find myself digging at my teeth with the toothpicks from those little plastic containers that the Thai's put on all the tables. That is not a real problem. The problem is that after digging around in my teeth, I now put the toothpick back in the container for other people to use. Sometimes 3 or 4 of them just to increase the odds of somebody sticking the same one in their mouth as I had already used.

    2) When I go into any toilet room, and their is no urinal to use and only squatters, I piss all over the foot pads on purpose. This is in hopes that the next stupid Thai fucker that uses the squatter slips and falls in his own shit and busts his ass because my piss made the foot pads too slippery. Wishful thinking I guess.

    3) When driving, I find myself baiting the Thai's to attempt to cut me off, just so I can close the gap and lay on the horn and yell swear words at them in Thai langauge. The look of surprise, and the locking of their brakes, really puts a smile on my face in the morning.

    4) This one you guys have heard before, but maybe I need to explain a little bit more. Whenever I go to a bar or restaraunt, and the cheat me or piss me off, I usually don't get pissed off. I usually pay the bill, and head for the toilet before I leave. In the toilet, I usually shit all over the floor with a smile on my face. I have done this in Pattaya on several occasions, and at least 4 times in Chonburi that I can remember.

    5) Belching in public. I get total enjoyment from chugging down Changs, and then letting a huge belch go in a crowded restaraunt. I just love the look of disgust on the Thai peoples face, and their children giggling like crazy. Then me telling them in Thai that their local Chang beer is really good.


    So guys, these are just 5 things that I can see now. I am sure there are more. I just really needed to get these things off my chest you know. I will add to the lists as I realize new things that I am ashamed of.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    60,017
    oh great, i was just thinking abt this troll the other day, Git R done and Burp.

    couldnt rememner u name but.

  3. #3
    Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Last Online
    21-01-2013 @ 10:50 PM
    Posts
    153
    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    oh great, i was just thinking abt this troll the other day, Git R done and Burp.

    couldnt rememner u name but.

    FFS, I finally make a decent post and you come on to take the piss? Yes, I trolled before. I was hoping to actually add a little something to the board this time.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    60,017
    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptonite
    FFS, I finally make a decent post and you come on to take the piss? Yes, I trolled before. I was hoping to actually add a little something to the board this time.
    this IS teakdorr you know!

    anyway, in that case welcome aboard.

    i've done number 2 and number 3 but not the others.

    (still have some manners see!?

  5. #5
    This is not my avatar
    NickA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    11,204
    Sounds like a good Friday night out, but what do you do on Saturday?

  6. #6
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,874
    Did you find the mystery person you were stalking?

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    08-09-2014 @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Simian Islands
    Posts
    34,827
    Let's hope all the 'quality' foreigners stay in Pattaya...

  8. #8
    Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Last Online
    21-01-2013 @ 10:50 PM
    Posts
    153
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
    Let's hope all the 'quality' foreigners stay in Pattaya...

    I don't live in Pattaya thank you velly mut.

  9. #9
    Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Last Online
    21-01-2013 @ 10:50 PM
    Posts
    153
    Quote Originally Posted by jizzybloke View Post
    Did you find the mystery person you were stalking?

    I was just trolling. I was recently basically told that I wasn't wlecome on another forum, so I decided to come back here and give it an honest shot without trolling. I did have the worst reppo points here of all time before.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    60,017
    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptonite
    I finally make a decent post
    it tis somewhat dependent on what your definition of decent is....

  11. #11
    Not a Mod.
    Begbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Lagrangian Point
    Posts
    11,369
    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptonite View Post
    In the toilet, I usually shit all over the floor with a smile on my face. I have done this in Pattaya on several occasions, and at least 4 times in Chonburi that I can remember.
    You a Glasgow Rangers supporter by any chance ?

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat
    Rattanaburi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Last Online
    12-11-2009 @ 12:42 PM
    Posts
    1,955
    Well, you've got the right member name as everyone should be careful around you. The toothpick one bothers me the most. The other toilet ones really just hurt the cleaning ladies who clean up your mess. I guess you don't care too much about people. You really ought to try to find a way to change your habits. You are heading to being pushed out of a 28 story hotel room in my opinion. What came first the bad Thais or the bad farangs?

    If this guy ever comes to a Teakdoor get-together, you had better make him piss and shit in the bushes to be safe.

    I would guess you look something like this?




    No wonder you feel unwanted at times. Calm down and let those beers go to work. Use your brain and don't be ripped off when you go out. Give your bathrrom a good scrubdown while you are at it.

  13. #13
    RIP
    blackgang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    08-07-2010 @ 08:33 PM
    Location
    Phetchabun city
    Posts
    15,471
    I see nothing in the OP that is not done all the time by Thai in restrooms and in public places, so maybe you have just been here to long and have got to acting like a real Thai.

  14. #14
    IV
    Wally Dorian Raffles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 09:20 PM
    Location
    Location: Location: Three sausages went to the station, and wound up at immigration!
    Posts
    5,825
    You are without doubt, a very sneaky man krypto. the toothpick thing made me cringe - i never did like the ones that didn't come in the seperate little paper packets before anyway. one thing i noticed in thailand is peopel there aren't big on washing their hands. even in japanese restaurants the thai patrons don't use the moist towels supplied. chances are the guy who fills the toothpick jar up doesn't wash his hands after a poo also, which i am well aware wouldn't bother most of the poms in los. they drink beer with poo in it!!

    i think it's time for to go home for a while anyway, krypto. being nasty to strangers is a sure sign..

  15. #15
    RIP
    Happyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    31-01-2011 @ 09:29 PM
    Location
    Rawai Phuket
    Posts
    6,010
    Toothpicks ?
    No problem !
    Wait until I get home and take em out and pop them into a glass with Steradent fizzing away !

    Its great - easy - and I don't give a S*it

  16. #16
    ding ding ding
    Spin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    12,608
    Just dont caught doing some of that stuff, Khun Thai snaps quickly and there would definatly be claret spilt.

  17. #17
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,874
    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptonite View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
    Let's hope all the 'quality' foreigners stay in Pattaya...

    I don't live in Pattaya thank you velly mut.

    What area do you live in i'll make sure i take my own tooth picks?

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    07-12-2019 @ 07:44 PM
    Location
    BackinOz
    Posts
    30,811
    Seems to me kryptonite is either a troll, or needs to seriously think about leaving Thailand for his own sake.

  19. #19

    R.I.P.


    dirtydog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Pattaya Jomtien
    Posts
    58,774
    The tooth pick dilema.

    With the bringing on of laws not allowing people to smoke in Thai restaurants will also include a lack of ashtrays, so where to stick those used tooth picks? Yep they got to back in the tooth pick bowl, hell, they are reusable

  20. #20
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,874
    Do you suck them clean first or leave bits on them to go crusty for the next user?
    Can people tell what the last user ate from the remains left on said toothy picky?

  21. #21
    The cold, wet one
    November Rain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    31-03-2015 @ 03:06 PM
    Location
    In my happy place
    Posts
    12,214
    Doesn't it say something that it's the toothpick thing (not any of the toilet ones) that's turning my stomach, too?


    Gross subject matter, Krypto, but nice to see a real post by you.

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat
    davearn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Last Online
    02-04-2018 @ 09:53 AM
    Location
    Brisbane, Australia
    Posts
    1,598
    Very strange. Would be very careful if I was you. Acting like that can quickly cause a lot of pain if caught.
    Maybe you should get a dog or something coz you obviously need a friend

  23. #23
    Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Last Online
    21-01-2013 @ 10:50 PM
    Posts
    153
    Quote Originally Posted by davearn View Post
    Very strange. Would be very careful if I was you. Acting like that can quickly cause a lot of pain if caught.
    Maybe you should get a dog or something coz you obviously need a friend

    My wife is Thai, and we have a nice large house on 3 rai of land. So, Thai Law states, we must have 5 dogs and 4 cats.............NO MORE ANIMALS PLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

    That doesn't count the porkupine (sp?) the older daughter had (but is now loose in the yard), the hamster the younger daughter has, the 4 gold fish, the large clown fish looking one, and the 4 other fish I don't know how to describe.

    There is a Thai guy that is damn lucky today that I don't carry my 9mm in my car any more. Otherwise I would have shot a bunch of holes in his fucking big truck. Son of a bitchshot from the left lane to the center of the road, and I had to lock up the brakes and slide sideways to keep from hitting him. Stupid fucker just smiles with the smoke hanging half out his mouth.

    BANG BANG BANG BANG! Is all that went through my mind as I started reaching under the seat.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    60,017
    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptonite
    There is a Thai guy that is damn lucky today that I don't carry my 9mm in my car any more. Otherwise I would have shot a bunch of holes in his fucking big truck. Son of a bitchshot from the left lane to the center of the road, and I had to lock up the brakes and slide sideways to keep from hitting him. Stupid fucker just smiles with the smoke hanging half out his mouth.
    i know the feeling.

  25. #25
    Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Last Online
    21-01-2013 @ 10:50 PM
    Posts
    153
    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptonite
    There is a Thai guy that is damn lucky today that I don't carry my 9mm in my car any more. Otherwise I would have shot a bunch of holes in his fucking big truck. Son of a bitchshot from the left lane to the center of the road, and I had to lock up the brakes and slide sideways to keep from hitting him. Stupid fucker just smiles with the smoke hanging half out his mouth.
    i know the feeling.

    Wife made me take the 9mm out of the car after I shot out some fuckers tire on the way to Rayong.



Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •