View Poll Results: How many bars in your bird's bath?

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  • just one (as if)

    1 11.11%
  • two

    2 22.22%
  • three

    3 33.33%
  • four

    0 0%
  • five

    0 0%
  • six+

    2 22.22%
  • I don't know, I never venture in there.

    1 11.11%
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Thread: How much soap?

  1. #1
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    How much soap?

    ... does your wife or girlfriend require to take a shower/bath?

    I need exactly one. Yep. One'll do it for me. Face, arms, legs, bollocks, bum -- in that order. And then a vigorous rinsing of the soap to erase any leftovers.

    Wifey, on the other hand apparently requires six. Yep. Counted 'em today. Six different bars of soap sitting on/near the bathtub all opened and in various stages of use. What the hell she does with six bars of soap is a mystery. To add intrigue, she usually throws them away when they're about half used up.

    I've never thrown a bar of soap away in my life. I use it till it's gone and then open another. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I opened a new bar of soap at home. It's got to be five years. There's always four or five lying around that'll be thrown away at any moment.

    Am I married to an obsessive mental case or is this normal woman behavior?
    Don't get me started on shampoo, conditioner, rinse, creams, oils, scrubs, masks etc. Judging from the amount of shit she requires, I would expect her beauty factor to be far above what it is ...

  2. #2
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    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat
    Am I married to an obsessive mental case or is this normal woman behavior?
    And the difference is what?

  3. #3
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    Well, I'm like you. Actually I often just use my shampoo as my soap. My wife uses some facial scrub, body soap, and shampoo plus conditioner. She has loads of creams for who knows what. She buys new types all the time and over the five years we've been together she still looks the same. I don't think any of that crap works better than the old bar of soap. Of course, some soaps can dry your skin but you find one that works and stick to it for a while at least.

    If you are looking for money, create some type of skin cream or soap and you will be able to sell it for at least a little while. Women are brainwashed to buy the junk. You might try creating something new to clean and moisturize a part of the body that hasn't been done yet. How about Texpat's All-natural Ass Cream. Every woman will feel the need for it once they see the commercials. You'll have to find some promoters with nice smooth bottoms to offer free samples in Big C and Central.

  4. #4
    Member micksterbs's Avatar
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    Yep, yep! And when she's finished with a container of shampoo or something, she'll put it back in the cabinet. Grrrrr. Oh, and she can't bear to part with old toothbrushes. She has about 5 in there at the last count. Mind you, they're handy for cleaning the chain on the bicycle...

  5. #5
    Member micksterbs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rattanaburi View Post
    Well, I'm like you. Actually I often just use my shampoo as my soap. My wife uses some facial scrub, body soap, and shampoo plus conditioner. She has loads of creams for who knows what. She buys new types all the time and over the five years we've been together she still looks the same. I don't think any of that crap works better than the old bar of soap. Of course, some soaps can dry your skin but you find one that works and stick to it for a while at least.

    If you are looking for money, create some type of skin cream or soap and you will be able to sell it for at least a little while. Women are brainwashed to buy the junk. You might try creating something new to clean and moisturize a part of the body that hasn't been done yet. How about Texpat's All-natural Ass Cream. Every woman will feel the need for it once they see the commercials. You'll have to find some promoters with nice smooth bottoms to offer free samples in Big C and Central.
    I wouldn't mind personally auditioning some young things for you if you ever decide to try that...

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    Hmmm. You might be onto something there. Has a nice ring to it, eh? Maybe put a froggy twist in it, sounds exotic --"Texpat's Ass Cream Au Natural" I've an idea for the secret ingredient as well.

  7. #7
    I am in Jail
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    There are only two bars of soap in each bathroom, often it's the same brand, both in the same location.
    No idea if there is any reasoning behind this.

    Then there are lots of too-small-too-handle ones which would be a waste to throw away accumulating in one corner, they eventually get chucked out by myself or the daughter when wifey is not around.

    Same with toothbrushes, but there could be 3 or 4 goin at a time.

  8. #8
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by micksterbs
    You might try creating something new to clean and moisturize a part of the body that hasn't been done yet.
    Don't forget to print "Whitening" in a prominent position on the packaging.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat
    I need exactly one. Yep. One'll do it for me. Face, arms, legs, bollocks, bum -- in that order. And then a vigorous rinsing of the soap to erase any leftovers.
    Yes one will do it nicely!

    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat
    Am I married to an obsessive mental case
    Yes!


    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat
    is this normal woman behavior
    Sadly yes!

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rattanaburi View Post
    She buys new types all the time and over the five years we've been together she still looks the same.
    Sounds like it is working wonders to me!

    My wife doesn't use soap. She uses some sort of cream. Just the one.

  11. #11
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat
    Face, arms, legs, bollocks, bum -- in that order.
    I normally start with my hair and then follow your sequence.

    My missus is the same as yours. I can't understand it either as I sit in front of the computer all day working my fingers to the bone whilst working up a horrible sweat. In contrast, the missus is outside in the heat digging holes, planting stuff, cooking over a hot stove, running errands for me, cleaning the house and washing my clothes. Face it, women are just a bunch of light weights.
    Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

  12. #12
    Member More Volts Igor's Avatar
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    Only one actual bar of soap (from Amway), but at least four assorted bottles of god-knows-what for cleaning every conceivable inch of her cute little bod

  13. #13
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    I hate bar soap. It gets mucky and then you have to clean the soap dish all the time. I use a gel bodywash with a scrunchy scrub thing, facial scrub, shampoo, conditioner, lots of rich lotion (one for face, one for body). My Sis uses Pear soap, so when I stay there, and the bar gets down to a sliver, I stick it onto the new bar. I hate to waste anything. Old toothbrushes are good for cleaning lots of things.

  14. #14
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    hey i don't use soap


    just Body wash,face wash, facial scrub,body scrub,vitamin shampoo,conditioner,body moisturiser,face moisturiser,straightning cream, and leave in conditioner.

    Thats all a girl needs

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat View Post
    ...I need exactly one. Yep. One'll do it for me. Face, arms, legs, bollocks, bum -- in that order. And then a vigorous rinsing of the soap to erase any leftovers....
    and maybe it is because she knows what you do with the soap that she has to have so many on the go at once. She knows that with teh law of averages you probably won't stick a new bar around your hairy arse but will do with an almost half one. Would you want to reuse it?...

  16. #16
    The Dentist English Noodles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rattanaburi
    She buys new types all the time and over the five years we've been together she still looks the same. I don't think any of that crap works better than the old bar of soap.
    And you, what effect have the past five years had on your appearance?

    If you can't see the irony in what you have written then i'm afraid all hope is lost.

  17. #17
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    One bar for me, three bottles for her - I'm guessing face, body and er, something else.

  18. #18
    The cold, wet one
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    Jeeze, I'm low maintenance.

    Body wash (my son & I use the same one - pump action so it's easy for him) in the shower. One bar of soap at the handbasin. One adult toothbrush & tube of toothpaste (mine). One kiddy toothbrush & tube of toothpaste (his), shampoo & conditioner (mine) kiddy shampoo - no tears stuff (his).

    That's it.

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