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  1. #1
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    becoming in some way religious

    i don't know if this is the mid life crisis i have read about or if my dreams and thoughts of impending doom are real.

    I can't kill anything anymore.
    not even one of those mosqitos.

    i look at young people, young animals and think to myself...this isn't your time.

    fukk knows why.

    think maybe i'm barking, but i have this "nearer to your maker" thing happening.

    anybody else a bit weird?
    Last edited by ChiangMai noon; 18-03-2008 at 11:50 PM.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon
    anybody else a bit weird?
    No, just you and Blackgang.

  3. #3
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    ^
    so this has never happened to you then?
    maybe it will in the next year or so.

    i hope it goes away because i am starting to feel very close to my maker.

    i am also holding older people in high esteem.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    Nope. I'm missing the compassion gene.
    I kill most anything. Kittens, children, old blind ladies shuffling thru crosswalks.
    Not a problem.

  5. #5
    R.I.P.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon View Post
    i don't know if this is the mid life crisis i have read about
    It is.
    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon View Post
    or if my dreams and thoughts of impending doom are real.
    They are.
    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon View Post
    anybody else a bit weird?
    Yes.

  6. #6
    bkkmadness
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    I've never been good at killing anything, even when the ants come to my kitchen top to eat any spilt sugar I tap the top of it until they are all moved out of the way and I can wipe it clean. Sometimes I leave them for a while until they have had their fill.

  7. #7
    punk douche bag
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    ^^

    thanks robert.

    it's not a nice something at all.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon View Post
    ^^

    thanks robert.

    it's not a nice something at all.
    It goes away, only to be replaced with a horrible feeling that it's too late to change anything and the worrying thought that if you'd taken that boring but secure job when you were 25 you wouldn't be in this mess now, this fades and acceptance comes. After this your life will return to normal. I'm more than half but less than fully serious in these replies.
    The Above Post May Contain Strong Language, Flashing Lights, or Violent Scenes.

  9. #9
    punk douche bag
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    I'm more than half serious in these replies.
    believe me, i appreciate them.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon
    so this has never happened to you then?
    I occasionally don't kill an insect when I could've done, but not often. I know all to well how mortal I am, that's why I left the drudgery of the UK and settled here, as I didn't want to look back in my last split second of living conciousness and realise that it had all been terribly boring.

    Saying that, spending all day on this fucking forum isn't much better either...

  11. #11
    punk douche bag
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    I occasionally don't kill an insect when I could've done, but not often. I know all to well how mortal I am, that's why I left the drudgery of the UK and settled here, as I didn't want to look back in my last split second of living conciousness and realise that it had all been terribly boring.

    Saying that, spending all day on this fucking forum isn't much better either...
    i either think you aren't at this point yet or i'm going a bit bonkers.

  12. #12
    punk douche bag
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    this is very new to me.

    i have never looked on older people with respect.

    i do now and have done for the past 6 weeks or so.

    it's not just people either, it's things.

    the clouds are cloudier, the ants are antier.

    that's as lucid as i can manage.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by "Marmite the Dog"
    I occasionally don't kill an insect when I could've done, but not often. I know all to well how mortal I am, that's why I left the drudgery of the UK and settled here, as I didn't want to look back in my last split second of living conciousness and realise that it had all been terribly boring.

    Saying that, spending all day on this fucking forum isn't much better either...
    i either think you aren't at this point yet or i'm going a bit bonkers.
    You're not going bonkers. You're at that point reached by the punk and new-wave generation where you realize that we were lied to when they said "no future". There is, and we're in it now. I haven't had a drink in two months but next time you're down this way pop by and we can get some food and talk crap, what you're feeling isn't craziness, its not a bad thing. I could do with some reasonable western company anyway. I felt very strange today, I clicked on a link from wiki and found some pictures of myself and my friends being attacked by police in 1985 near Stonehenge, I can't describe the feeling but it was clear and dissociated at the same time, I still feel odd and I can't look at those photos again.
    Last edited by DrB0b; 19-03-2008 at 12:22 AM.

  14. #14
    My kind of town
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    Stay off your motorbike.....you might have a close encounter if you ain't careful!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon View Post
    ^
    so this has never happened to you then?
    maybe it will in the next year or so.

    i hope it goes away because i am starting to feel very close to my maker.

    i am also holding older people in high esteem.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    I clicked on a link from wiki and found some pictures of myself and my friends being attacked by police in 1985 near Stonehenge
    What's the link?

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by "DrB0b"
    I clicked on a link from wiki and found some pictures of myself and my friends being attacked by police in 1985 near Stonehenge
    What's the link?
    Alan Lodge: Tash's - 'Battle of the Beanfield' gallery 1

  17. #17
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    thanks for the invite Dr Bob.

    I don't like this god thing that's going on.

    i was brought up as a disbeliever.
    don't want that to change.

  18. #18
    punk douche bag
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    I have always associated christian beliefs with madness.

    this is my concern.

    I don't want to be thinking of gods and after lifes.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    You're not going bonkers. You're at that point reached by the punk and new-wave generation where you realize that we were lied to when they said "no future". There is, and we're in it now.
    i think you make a good point there, the generation growing up in that era unless wealthy felt let down in every way.
    Strikes,wars and unemployment gave no optomistic outlook.
    Reaching a point where that is all behind you is all well and good, but all we learnt was to escape.
    There is a future for us the escapies of that era its just our mortality that catches up with us now.

    Your not going mad Cmn just getting older thats no big deal mate it happens to us all.
    Just keep going forward and enjoy

  20. #20
    R.I.P.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon View Post
    thanks for the invite Dr Bob.

    I don't like this god thing that's going on.

    i was brought up as a disbeliever.
    don't want that to change.
    It probably won't. The object of two types of Buddhist meditation are to see things as they really are and to have compassion for living things, no God required or wanted. Sounds like you've (more than likely temporarily ) acquired them both without the inconvenience of of living on gruel for 30 days or having to give a 10,000 Baht "donation" to the abbot of the temple doing the meditation course.
    Last edited by DrB0b; 19-03-2008 at 12:50 AM.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon
    I have always associated christian beliefs with madness.
    It's a sure sign of madness mate. You want to see a shrink.

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by "DrB0b"
    I clicked on a link from wiki and found some pictures of myself and my friends being attacked by police in 1985 near Stonehenge
    What's the link?
    Alan Lodge: Tash's - 'Battle of the Beanfield' gallery 1
    Thanks for the link, but how on Earth am I supposed to know which one is you? You're all wearing false beards!

  23. #23
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    That secret is going to the grave with me. Anyway, you'd probably have to be me to recognise me from that long ago. I'd got yellow hair and no beard at the time, still can't grow a beard. The beardies are all undercover KGB and Albanian Secret Service, as Thatcher told the press at the time.

  24. #24

    R.I.P.


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    People didn't look like that in 1985, well not in London anyway, no wonder you lot couldn't get jobs and that, you all look like a bunch of hippys from the 60s.

  25. #25
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    Pink suits you.

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