I came to live in Thailand because the Spice Girls were taking over the UK and I was fucking ginger and goofy at the same time. My vision was 20:20, I had a pretty good mullet, 65 kilos, 31 inch waist, and just turned 30. I was in my prime.
Recently, a popular poster astutely noted that male westerners here in Thailand mainly comprise of bald, nerdy glasses wearing, 30 year olds cretins. Initially I didn't really think too much about that remark, however coming out of the shower this morning led to cold reality hitting home. After shaving my nose I relinquished some pride and donned my beer glass bottomed glasses: the mirror couldn't lie anymore. Those love handles were far from lovely, the 38 inch gut and bitch tits unattractive in the extreme, but worse, much worse, there were distinct signs that the end of the world was nigh. I was undeniably thinning on top! My lovely strawberry blonde locks have been gradually disappearing down the plughole. Well, they actually turned grey about 4 years ago but nevertheless I'm sure you can imagine the anguish I'm feeling right now.
I'd actually hoped to have avoided this terrible affliction as both male grand parents had full thatches as does my father who's well into his 70's. The fact that the gaining of weight and losing of hair only began once I moved here leads me to the only conclusion possible - Thailand makes you fat and bald.
So, has anyone else become weight and follicly challenged since coming to live here or has the beautiful weather and healthy living here actually turned you into a bronzed Adonis?