Thread: American Spelling. It is the future.

Originally Posted by Captain Sensible

Sorry. 'Present Complicated' I meant to say.

Hehe. I agree with you there Capt. As many of you are aware I'm considered near genius-level in most fields of endeavour. However, I couldn't find a present-tense participle in an alphabet factory.

Sepo.s aren't very good at profanity now are they? All they come with is "sh.it' and 'fu.ck". British English is so much more expresive: " look you farkin' knob end c.unt your missus is a stanky slapper with an axe wound like the Rift Valley" Now to my mind no American could even come close to reaching those levels of eloquence.... not even a black!

Yes colourful,or is that colorful?
Australia,NZ and South Africa all spell proper.

Originally Posted by danbo

Originally Posted by Captain Sensible

Sorry. 'Present Complicated' I meant to say.

Hehe. I agree with you there Capt. As many of you are aware I'm considered near genius-level in most fields of endeavour. However, I couldn't find a present-tense participle in an alphabet factory.

I am about the same danbo, so I decided to invent my own tenses. Instead of the 'Present Perfect' and 'Present Continuous', I am gonna introduce the 'Presently Perfect' and 'Presently Continuous'. I fully expect that the introduction of these tenses will turn the English language on its ear. Once 'Sensible Tenses' are accepted worldwide, then I shall introduce the 'Shortly Perfect' and 'Shortly Continuous' tenses. I will be famous like Shakespeare and that other bloke.

You have never seen a really angry American chick have ya MD?

Originally Posted by NickA

"Aluminum" and "Aluminium".

I was always taught that the yanks had changed this because of a spelling mistake. Looked it up the other day and found out that it was us that changed it 'cos Aluminum sounds gay.

I think it also had to the with the Chemistry symbol or somethin' like that.

aluminum 1812, coined by Sir Humphry Davy (1778-1829), from L. alumen "alum" (see alum). Davy originally called it alumium (1808), then amended this to aluminum, which remains the U.S. word, but British editors in 1812 further amended it to aluminium, the modern preferred British form, to better harmonize with other element names (sodium, potassium, etc.).

"Aluminium, for so we shall take the liberty of writing the word, in preference to aluminum, which has a less classical sound." ["Quarterly Review," 1812]

I suppose that might be useful one day..........

When I'm eighty two and CMN is still running his quiz nights, which will be the only form of entertainment left for me!

Online Etymology Dictionary

Hours of fun for all the family.

C_unt"female intercrural foramen," or, as some 18c. writers refer to it, "the monosyllable," M.E. ****e "female genitalia," akin to O.N. kunta, from P.Gmc. *kunton, of uncertain origin. Some suggest a link with L. cuneus "wedge," others to PIE base *geu- "hollow place," still others to PIE *gwen-, root of queen and Gk. gyne "woman." The form is similar to L. cunnus "female pudenda," which is likewise of disputed origin, perhaps lit. "gash, slit," from PIE *sker- "to cut," or lit. "sheath," from PIE *kut-no-, from base *(s)keu- "to conceal, hide." First known reference in Eng. is said to be c.1230 Oxford or London street name Grope****lane, presumably a haunt of prostitutes. Avoided in public speech since 15c.; considered obscene since 17c. Du. cognate de kont means "a bottom, an arse." Du. also has attractive poetic slang ways of expressing this part, such as liefdesgrot, lit. "cave of love," and vleesroos "rose of flesh." Alternate form cunny is attested from c.1720 but is certainly much earlier and forced a change in the pronunciation of coney (q.v.), but it was good for a pun while coney was still the common word for "rabbit": "A pox upon your Christian cockatrices! They cry, like poulterers' wives, 'No money, no coney.' " [Massinger, 1622]

cunnilingus 1887, from Mod.L. cunnus "vulva" (see ****) + lingere "to lick" (see lick (v.)). The L. properly would mean "one who licks a vulva," but it is used in Eng. in reference to the action, not the actor. The verb ought to be cunnilingue.

"Cunnilingus was a very familiar manifestation in classical times; ... it tends to be especially prevalent at all periods of high civilization." [Havelock Ellis, 1905]

Originally Posted by poolcleaner

I suppose that might be useful one day..........

When I'm eighty two and CMN is still....

You'll both be dead.

^That's not a very nice thing to say - Especially from a Milkman - People look up to Milkmen. In polls they are only second to plumbers in the choice of person who can most be trusted to spend a night in a telephone box with a badger.

^ Not trying to be negative Danbo, but 82 is pretty old.

I won't be around....

Poolie's 78 now - banking on 4 more years doesn't sound too optimistic.

^ I thought he was around 55 or fifty-six. I didn't ask, though.

^If you did he wouldn't have heard you - deaf as a post.

Originally Posted by danbo

^If you did he wouldn't have heard you - deaf as a post.

Deaf as a postman you say?

Milky, I dream of being dead long before I'm 82 but as God and I don't really get along I imagine he''l keep me here for many years after my penis has ceased working and the next sexual revolution has arrived. The one where 16 year old girls have contests to see how many old guys they can do in a day. I'll just be left on a bar stool watching this all happening around me unable to enjoy participating, cursing my longevity and softly sobbing into my long island iced teas!

Originally Posted by poolcleaner

I'll just be left on a bar stool watching this all happening around me unable to enjoy participating, cursing my longevity and softly sobbing into my long island iced teas!

I see these guys, too!

Most seem pretty content. I like talking with them.

A lot of them have been coming to, and living in LOS for many decades.

One guy used to tell me how it used to be 45+ years ago.


If I'm lucky maybe I can live long enough and have a few nickels to sit and watch, sip and watch, and then pass on, content.

Maybe. Who knows?

Surely 'long island iced teas' should be capitalized, no?

Originally Posted by Captain Sensible

Surely 'long island iced teas' should be capitalized, no?

You could certainly capitalise it if you chose to. I used it the same referrence as I would to another drinksuch as 'beer, wine, soda'.

Originally Posted by danbo

What with smell-checkers these days, the mechanics of writing a word are becoming automated.

I don't think I've used one of these yet, how do they work?

They're okay if the misspelt word doesn't exist, else you can very easily find yourself looking a complete tanker.

Originally Posted by aging one

You have never seen a really angry American chick have ya MD?

I dimly remember groping (without her concent) some strange farang girl during my "lost year" she swore a blue streak .. she may well have been a US lass....