Help

**kelpie** · 09-01-2008, 09:59 PM

Gid'ay mates.

Need a decent Condo at Jonti for very little money.

Maids should be pleasant and pliable (sometimes their the best) and the aircon needs to work not grunt.

Used to stay with he/she Tim at Tim bar beer on Second road but she/he has gone up market and built a bloody Pub and I can no longer sleep under the pool table in her old joint. Besides her ladies were pretty crappy.

I come with some creds and a few bucks (as our Septic nieghbours say).

The dearly departed Noel Thomas was a mate of mine as is Father G. Some of you bloody gereatrics may remember the infamous Yellow Board and Noels subsequent Forum.

I should like to bypass BKK as I tend to get in to much trouble at Randy's Bar (have to don the chopper pilots helmet and buy for the bar) and Goldfinger's and the Safari and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell I was at Wee Willie the Wedges infamous Welcome Inn pool party.
Wille was a bloody loveable classic maniac. 30 unclad ladies and a pig on a spit.
Now that's class ??????

Stuff me drunk, the evening we first arrived in his Limo from BKK to the Tahitian Queenie thingo the little bloody idiot rang the hooter at least 25 times. That was expensive.

From then it just got worse. But hell he had a Citibank platinum card (IMF) and two minders assigned by the US Embassy (in suits) to guard his supposed welfare. They need not have bothered as during the festivities Wee Willie got a bit carried away and tried to dunk a little LBRFM (little brown toothies) whom turned around and cracked his ribs on the side of the pool.

Only time I ever saw an ambulance in Pattaya.

Young Willy had forgotten or probably never knew, that these little rice burners can hump 30 kilo of rice all day, every day.

Anyway enough crap.

I need a condo. Please come back ASAP.

Kelpie.

ps. No fleas.

**Marmite the Dog** · 09-01-2008, 10:30 PM

You what?

**kelpie** · 10-01-2008, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

You what?

"I think he is talking about his buddies on bahtbus forum."

Dog's breath mates.
Buddies!!! Geez your quick. The old dog does not have any buddies, buddy. Hell I did not realise you could get an Internet connection from a trailer park.

Are you slow or what???

Bugger me is this a pound!!!!!! I don't like pounds.
Marmite the dog and Dirtydog. The mind boggles. Are you a pair of Shitzu thingo's.

I need a kennel mate, pure and simple.

I have never been on Bhatbus as it passed on with the sad demise of my mate Noel.
Further I have never been on Pattayalover's yellow board. Hell I love Nalak, ask anybody.
Having said that the below sort of looks familiar. Good lift.

Also I totally refute any allegations that I have ever been banned from any Forums for any reasons at any time, ever.

Kelpie.

ps. Would some clown kindly loan me a kennel.

**dirtydog** · 09-01-2008, 11:44 PM

I think he is talking about his buddies on bahtbus forum.

**ChiangMai noon** · 10-01-2008, 11:00 AM

^
fukk me.
you related to Terry 57??

bkkmadness · 21-01-2008, 04:54 PM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

^
fukk me.
you related to Terry 57??

And where is the hoser these days?

**kingwilly** · 10-01-2008, 11:04 AM

he's gotta be,

* I hereby and without further notice revoke my australian citizenship for fear of being lumped in with that lot! *

**rawlins** · 10-01-2008, 11:13 AM

So.. you need a decent condo in Jonti?... I don't have one handy at the moment....have you tried the estate agents?

Send your first post to PBRL... they should be able to sort you out.

**kelpie** · 10-01-2008, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by rawlins

So.. you need a decent condo in Jonti?... I don't have one handy at the moment....have you tried the estate agents?

Huh! Mate the old dog is stupid enough to chase parked cars but he ain't dumb enough to deal with a bloody real estate agent in the Fair City on the Net. Hell Tim is a boy/girl scout compared to those cut throats

Send your first post to PBRL... they should be able to sort you out.

Thanks but what is PBRL

fukk me.
you related to Terry 57?? No Heinz

he's gotta be,

* I hereby and without further notice revoke my australian citizenship for fear of being lumped in with that lot! *

In the venach Your probably a Pom and most likely illegal in the lucky country anyway, ****ry

Well thanks a lot fellahs. This is obviously a very caring and sharing Forum.
Pray tell do any of you one line clowns reside in Jonti? or are you all the infamous Wannabees. Some bugger here must know an Agent whom can be half trusted.

Old stagers will note that thus far the old dog has been on his very best behaviour. All he needs is a quiet kennel and a ready supply of little brown toothies. (brown is good).

Cum back lads.

The Kelpie.

**AntRobertson** · 10-01-2008, 12:38 PM

I don't understand any of this

**kelpie** · 10-01-2008, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

I don't understand any of this

Mate its simple and so are you I think. Your not ethnic are you mate???
Swenka perhaps??? Done to many Eddy the Eagle flights and landed on your noggin.

OK. Let's do it by the numbers. You remember them.

1. I need a Condo.
2. I only require advice on a Condo as I can sniff out the little brown toothie bitches all by myself.

Kelpie

**kingwilly** · 10-01-2008, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by kelpie

In the venach Your probably a Pom and most likely illegal in the lucky country anyway, ****ry

ya got me!

Originally Posted by kelpie

Well thanks a lot fellahs. This is obviously a very caring and sharing Forum. Pray tell do any of you one line clowns reside in Jonti? or are you all the infamous Wannabees.

thanks nice meeting u too!

**Marmite the Dog** · 10-01-2008, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

I think he is talking about his buddies on bahtbus forum.

Looks like you'll be getting another quality neighbour, mate. I bet you can't wait...

**kelpie** · 10-01-2008, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by dirtydog

I think he is talking about his buddies on bahtbus forum.

Looks like you'll be getting another quality neighbour, mate. I bet you can't wait...

Marmite.

Bloody hell what sort of name is that for a to mutt, to mutt. Sorry mate maybe they have never said that to you.
You have got to be a Kiwi or Pom K9 mate.
But hell does your mate have a Condo in Jonti or what???? Bugger me I don't take up much space.
Shit somebody has to have one. Logic tells me that somebody must have one. The Military can't own them all.

Marmite mate can I possibly assume that you are a dreaded Moderator?

Either that or you are very bored. If indeed you are a Moderator I should like to lodge a formal complaint thru your good self in that I have been sledged by some ignorant Red Neck whom resides in a trailer park on Social Security whom is somewhat hampered by a lack of understanding of the English language

To whit

Originally Posted by kelpie
as I can sniff out the little brown toothie bitches all by myself.
sounds like you can do it all on yerself.

Yerself!!!!!!!!!
This son of the South (probably South Carolina) has indeed inferred that the old dog is in plain Septic speak a Wanker. Good God Uncle Bob in Guam from Big Navy would turn over in his grave at the thought of same.

Now Cum on. Any fool knows that an old dog can not possibly be a wanker. Hell Marmite you know that yourself. It's not possible no matter how much you try?????
Leg shagger yes, sheep shagger possibly (Kiwi's take notes)

Therefore I should like WEE WILLIE to recieve a severe admonishment. Marmite mate, would you trust Kingwilly in a communal shower? or just drop the soap.

I NEED A CONDO, not errant stupidity.

The kelpie

**kingwilly** · 10-01-2008, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by kelpie

as I can sniff out the little brown toothie bitches all by myself.

sounds like you can do it all on yerself.

**ChiangMai noon** · 10-01-2008, 01:07 PM

excellent.

another quality poster.
td is very fortunate.

**AntRobertson** · 10-01-2008, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by kelpie

Mate its simple and so are you I think. Your not ethnic are you mate???

I just love the casual racism from some Australians.

**kelpie** · 10-01-2008, 03:06 PM

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

Originally Posted by kelpie

Mate its simple and so are you I think. Your not ethnic are you mate???

I just love the casual racism from some Australians.

It's not racism and it's not casual.
My dear old mum, the bitch had a litter of 8 and I was the runt. Some were black, some were white and some were brindle. I am sort of tanned myself, sort of black and tanned. Shit I even have a Kiwi mate whose only saving grace is that he owns a Pub in the South Island. His only problem is sheep. Can't leave them alone. The mad prick does a Haka every time I arrive to sweat on him for a month or so.

You Euro blokes just keep signing up to all the UN conventions and Hell the World will be fine.

The kelpie.

**Wallalai** · 10-01-2008, 01:14 PM

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

I don't understand any of this

I thought it was only me, so I'm not alone.

**CharleyFarley** · 10-01-2008, 01:54 PM

I'm dizzy

**kelpie** · 10-01-2008, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by CharleyFarley

I'm dizzy

Mate.

Lay of the Yah Bah. Stick to the grog and don't go near the balcony.

the kelpie.

ps. Concerned

**dirtydog** · 10-01-2008, 02:20 PM

What there was of a tourist season is nearly over, plenty of condos empty in Jomtien, Fair Properties are ok.

**Thetyim** · 10-01-2008, 02:36 PM

I thought they was a rule that all posts should be in English (or thai where needed)

**Driventowin** · 13-01-2008, 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by thetyim

I thought they was a rule that all posts should be in English (or thai where needed)

No kidding!! And he is criticising someone elses English yet...

Originally Posted by kelpie

Either that or you are very bored. If indeed you are a Moderator I should like to lodge a formal complaint thru your good self in that I have been sledged by some ignorant Red Neck whom resides in a trailer park on Social Security whom is somewhat hampered by a lack of understanding of the English language

All I can say is WOW!!!!! Tralier parks in Thailand? I'd think that is a great concept could shelter a ton of people instead of these tin shacks but I've never seen one...Anyone else??

Based on this thread I can't see anyone being more "redneck" than this dope....

#1 Wants to live in kennel
#2 Wants to shag the "little brown toothies"
#3 Used to sleep under a pool table
#4 Is obviously a racist
#5 Refers to himself in the third person as the "little shitter" and the "old dog"

Wow....Too much material here to list it all, I'd be here all day and never even get this thing posted...

**Marmite the Dog** · 10-01-2008, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by kelpie

understanding of the English language

If you actually wrote some English, it might be a start.

Thread: Help

Thread Tools

Display

Hybrid View

Help

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

Posting Permissions