Thread: Have You Ever Grown Up?

Recently I was having a discussion with a friend about Expats in SE Asia. It is his position that those of us that have chosen to live here and take young Thai ladies as brides /girlfriends have never grown up. Although we may be very sucessful in our careers or businesses, he thinks that we have a junior high mentality. That somehow we never matured past our adolescent years. His thought is that we relate to women younger than us because of our stunted maturity. That we all just party like we are high school kids rather than grow up. It is easier for us to live here, rather than face reality.

I was thinking about what he said and wanted to get some input from my friends here at TD.

Do you think you never grew up and depending on your answer why or why not?

I think you are concentrating to much on the sex aspect.

Why work all your life in the cold miserable UK rain when you have a better life style living in LOS and not working.
Sex was what brought me to Thailand originally but that was not why I retired here.

I wonder what Peterpan has to say about this?

I enjoy the same quality of life here (maybe better) than I did in the States. Sure, we have to suffer some retarded people and policies here, but at the end of the day, you can still laugh about it.

The only difference is that my wife and I both worked there, neither works here. Maybe I'm not grown up by coming here, but I would think myself stupid for staying there.

Making the decision to better your life, what ever you do or where ever you go, could in actual fact, be a sure sign of growing up

I agree with Thetyim's comments ^

That we all just party like we are high school kids rather than grow up. It is easier for us to live here, rather than face reality.

Rather than face reality?

Does your friend acknowledge that most expats buy houses, raise families, cook, clean and fend for themselves.
Employ locals, pay duties/taxes and do the whole myriad "grown-up" things our society(ies) impose upon us?

What is not real about the life you wake up to every day?

The fact that it is/can be a far better quality of life than back home.
The fact that your nourishment is generally of far higher standard, fresher, healthier than back home?

I came back to the UK earlier this year, after 10 years abroad.

Went out the other night, and the whole stinkin' town
was reeking of chips, deep fat frying oil, and kebabs. Now I enjoy this as much as the next man, but frankly it's all processed meats/frozen bread/frozen processed chips.., give me a pad thai, or a 15 baht rice soup or any food of any stall in the street, any day, any time.
You can barely even find fresh food, at least not that taste anymore.

And booze is ridiculously expensive. How on earth did a glass of hops and water get to be £ 3.00?

I could go on and on (council tax, car expenses, freedom?! ...)

So, yeah... What's real about living back in the UK, I say?

Interestingly I think one of the most grown up things I can think of is to make the decision to live the way you please regardless of what other people think or say. In which case the guys in this scenario are cool. It took me a long time to understand that, and I still struggle with it in my own life - but I am learning... growing up I suppose.

grow up? No not for me.

If 'growing up' implies some sort of cultural & behavioural stereotype - then, I'm afraid 'un-grown up' it'll have to be...

The concept of 'maturity' is, however, a very different animal to being 'grown up'...

No! and don't intend starting now - I'm much too old

Originally Posted by hirondelle

I am learning... growing up I suppose.

Me too, I have learned a lot lately. At least I know how to "let it be" and "let it go". Life is not easy but I'm learning and yes, I'm growing up too.

Different mindsets all round, I think. Never happier than when I lived in a one-room hillside hut with a huge balcony and panoramic sunset view of the Gulf and islands.
I think many Western folks like to collect things. Get a home, furniture, lots of doodads and dust collectors. Keep up with the Jones' and complain alot. I've seen some old fogies here with mail-order-type brides. Brother, they really stick out like sore thumbs, poor gits.

I stopped at 17

As Dylan said: "May you be forever young" and as George Bernard Shaw said: "Youth is wasted on the young."

So if you get the chance later in life to live as you want and have fun in the process, more power to you

Growing up is something that your Mother always tells you to do. To me it is like telling me to have sensible hair, to wear clothes without holes in, even if I am in the garden. To listen to music quietly. Not to get drunk and be loud in a public place. Not to join in with childrens games. To keep the house tidy and be responsible. Why on earth should I want to grow up???

I think MTD just grows out the way now.

Work got me here in the first place, and nothing have changed about that..Sex have nothing to do with it..

I thought I had grown up for my midlife period, responsible corporate citizen I was, Armani suits, tailored shirts, 4 door exective sedan, Commodore of the local yacht club, as superficial as the best of them. After 30 years of this I looked around at my freinds, fvck me we had all become boring clones of one another.
Around that time I took a few days off work to go sailing by myslf and ended running into a guy in with a similar yacht to mine so rowed over to chat with him, talking a couple of bottles of red under my arm.
He was an interesting sort of Wild haired character. Essentaiily built the yacht himself and just spent his time sailing around the south pacific waters with nothing but a couple of local honeys for company. I thought, well shag me silly, he am I working my arse off with an expensive boat and very little time to sail it. So I tossed it all in, wife house the whole shooting box, ditched the lot.
I had a Thai GF who I had previously met in Malaysia and we just went sailing for a couple of years.



Got bored with all that and her ^ so sold up and moved over here, not just for the girls but the whole thing seemed to be the intune with what I wanted which the opposite of my previous life.
Now I feel really grown up.

i still don, t know what i wanna be when i grow up!!

perfect example

https://teakdoor.com/thailands-travel...-my-story.html (My Story)

Originally Posted by peterpan

I thought I had grown up for my midlife period, responsible corporate citizen I was, Armani suits, tailored shirts, 4 door exective sedan, Commodore of the local yacht club, as superficial as the best of them. After 30 years of this I looked around at my freinds, fvck me we had all become boring clones of one another.
Around that time I took a few days off work to go sailing by myslf and ended running into a guy in with a similar yacht to mine so rowed over to chat with him, talking a couple of bottles of red under my arm.
He was an interesting sort of Wild haired character. Essentaiily built the yacht himself and just spent his time sailing around the south pacific waters with nothing but a couple of local honeys for company. I thought, well shag me silly, he am I working my arse off with an expensive boat and very little time to sail it. So I tossed it all in, wife house the whole shooting box, ditched the lot.
I had a Thai GF who I had previously met in Malaysia and we just went sailing for a couple of years.



Got bored with all that and her ^ so sold up and moved over here, not just for the girls but the whole thing seemed to be the intune with what I wanted which the opposite of my previous life.
Now I feel really grown up.

Well done all round then I'd say.

I don't think the issue is one of growing up, it is one of self indulgence.

You can be more self indulgent here than your own society, your dollar goes further, the rules are relaxed, and you're away from your home town peeers. You set your own limits- at least if you want to survive.

To some people, being self indulgent is like being childish but I don't see why. Maybe they are jealous!

Originally Posted by hirondelle

Interestingly I think one of the most grown up things I can think of is to make the decision to live the way you please regardless of what other people think or say. In which case the guys in this scenario are cool. It took me a long time to understand that, and I still struggle with it in my own life - but I am learning... growing up I suppose.

bloody hell hirondelle is back...


...snuggles and all that.