Thread: EXPAT - You have lived too long in Thailand if ...

This came up on my facebook page


- You consider it normal to drink a beer at nine in the morning.
- You look in all directions before crossing a one-way street.
- You put salt and pepper on your fruits.
- You wear a T-shirt and shorts every day.
- You wake up in the morning knowing you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.
- You do your shopping at 7/Eleven before dinner.
- You don't know what day of the week it is.
- You think a Honda Civic is a luxury car.
- You have a ladyboy friend.
- You consider it normal to offer gold jewelery when flirting.
- You have a Thai nickname.
- You put ice cubes in your wine.
- You sometimes drive barefoot.
- You think a calendar is more useful than a watch.
- You realize that all your problems come from Thai women or recalcitrant ATMs.
- All your t-shirts bear a brand of beer.
- You think Sangsom and Mekong whiskeys are quite drinkable.
- You can drive a motorcycle with 10 shopping bags hanging from the handlebars, and a pizza on top.
- You know where to buy alcohol when it is prohibited.
- You are able to convert everything into euros instantly in your head.
- You wonder how one can find models from France sexy.
- You are not surprised to have a civil servant neighbor who earns 400 euros per month, and who drives a Mercedes.
- You think Pizza Company restaurants are fancy hangouts and serve good food.
- You're starting to hate farangs.
- You have a roll of PQ on your table, but not in your toilet.
- You sometimes go to 7/Eleven in pajamas.
- Taxi drivers understand you.
- You prefer to eat on the floor.
- You think a 500 baht note is a lot of money.
- Your Thai girlfriend speaks better English than you.
- You are very proud to belong to the police volunteers.
- You can sleep 16 hours a day for several months in a row.
- A week in France seems endless and ruinous.
- All your friends live and die in Thailand.

Originally Posted by nidhogg

This came up on my facebook page
Fucked up the original post

- You consider it normal to drink a beer at nine in the morning.
No
- You look in all directions before crossing a one-way street.
Yes
- You put salt and pepper on your fruits.
No
- You wear a T-shirt and shorts every day.
No
- You wake up in the morning knowing you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.
Absolutely no
- You do your shopping at 7/Eleven before dinner.
Never
- You don't know what day of the week it is.
Never
- You think a Honda Civic is a luxury car.
Nope
- You have a ladyboy friend.
Nope
- You consider it normal to offer gold jewelery when flirting.
Nope
- You have a Thai nickname.
Yes
- You put ice cubes in your wine.
Dear fuck no
- You sometimes drive barefoot.
Nope
- You think a calendar is more useful than a watch.
Nope
- You realize that all your problems come from Thai women or recalcitrant ATMs.
Nope
- All your t-shirts bear a brand of beer.
Nope
- You think Sangsom and Mekong whiskeys are quite drinkable.
Meh - in an emergency
- You can drive a motorcycle with 10 shopping bags hanging from the handlebars, and a pizza on top.
Nope
- You know where to buy alcohol when it is prohibited.
Yes
- You are able to convert everything into euros instantly in your head.
Nope
- You wonder how one can find models from France sexy.
Nope
- You are not surprised to have a civil servant neighbor who earns 400 euros per month, and who drives a Mercedes.
Yes
- You think Pizza Company restaurants are fancy hangouts and serve good food.
Nope
- You're starting to hate farangs.
Getting there
- You have a roll of PQ on your table, but not in your toilet.
Nope
- You sometimes go to 7/Eleven in pajamas.
Fuck no
- Taxi drivers understand you.
Yes
- You prefer to eat on the floor.
Fuck no
- You think a 500 baht note is a lot of money.
Nope
- Your Thai girlfriend speaks better English than you.
Nope
- You are very proud to belong to the police volunteers.
Nope
- You can sleep 16 hours a day for several months in a row.
Nope
- A week in France seems endless and ruinous.
Nope
- All your friends live and die in Thailand.
No friends, makes this a nope

Only 6 yes. Seems my 24 years here is not quite enough.....

What's your Thai nickname then Niddy?

The wife used to call me Ham Wan

^LOL.

Most everybody I work with and the neighbours simply refers to me as "Lung" (uncle). Usually no further information is needed. Occasionally in situation where there is some confusion it will be Lung "first name".

Originally Posted by nidhogg

- You consider it normal to drink a beer at nine in the morning.
No
- You look in all directions before crossing a one-way street.
Yes
- You put salt and pepper on your fruits.
No
- You wear a T-shirt and shorts every day.
No
- You wake up in the morning knowing you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.
Absolutely no
- You do your shopping at 7/Eleven before dinner.
Never
- You don't know what day of the week it is.
Never
- You think a Honda Civic is a luxury car.
Nope
- You have a ladyboy friend.
Nope
- You consider it normal to offer gold jewelery when flirting.
Nope
- You have a Thai nickname.
Yes
- You put ice cubes in your wine.
Dear fuck no
- You sometimes drive barefoot.
Nope
- You think a calendar is more useful than a watch.
Nope
- You realize that all your problems come from Thai women or recalcitrant ATMs.
Nope
- All your t-shirts bear a brand of beer.
Nope
- You think Sangsom and Mekong whiskeys are quite drinkable.
Meh - in an emergency
- You can drive a motorcycle with 10 shopping bags hanging from the handlebars, and a pizza on top.
Nope
- You know where to buy alcohol when it is prohibited.
Yes
- You are able to convert everything into euros instantly in your head.
Nope
- You wonder how one can find models from France sexy.
Nope
- You are not surprised to have a civil servant neighbor who earns 400 euros per month, and who drives a Mercedes.
Yes
- You think Pizza Company restaurants are fancy hangouts and serve good food.
Nope
- You're starting to hate farangs.
Getting there
- You have a roll of PQ on your table, but not in your toilet.
Nope
- You sometimes go to 7/Eleven in pajamas.
Fuck no
- Taxi drivers understand you.
Yes
- You prefer to eat on the floor.
Fuck no
- You think a 500 baht note is a lot of money.
Nope
- Your Thai girlfriend speaks better English than you.
Nope
- You are very proud to belong to the police volunteers.
Nope
- You can sleep 16 hours a day for several months in a row.
Nope
- A week in France seems endless and ruinous.
Nope
- All your friends live and die in Thailand.
No friends, makes this a nope

Only 6 yes. Seems my 24 years here is not quite enough.....

Ha ha I saw that to. Seems applicable to some

You think Sangsom and Mekong whiskeys are quite drinkable.
Meh - in an emergency

half way there!

Sang Som is a rum.

Originally Posted by cyrille

Sang Som is a rum.

Allegedly.

You look in all directions before crossing a one-way street.
You have a Thai nickname.
You wake up in the morning knowing you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.
You know where to buy alcohol when it is prohibited.
You are able to convert everything into USD instantly in your head.
You are not surprised to have a civil servant neighbor who earns 400 euros per month, and who drives a Mercedes.

My six yes questions. Guess I’ve not been here long enough either.

Originally Posted by misskit

You are able to convert everything into USD instantly in your head.

Hmm... I reckon that's 'You never convert Thai baht into anything in your head'.

drive barefoot

I think this is a warm climate thing . I always drive barefoot unless I am onsite at work , and then it is workboots

I often wear those rubber slipper things and always kick off the right one when driving, so tend to drive locally with one bare foot.

I once got the accelerator pedal snagged between slipper and foot, and nearly had an accident due to not being able to hit the brake. I now never drive with a slipper or flip-flop on my right foot.

^^^ re the police volunteers.
It's a village thing our way and they normally man the village entry barriers during New Year and Songkran holiday periods. We've used the barriers at other times as well, to stop drug runners and dog catchers coming through.
We usually take coffee and food to them during the night shift.

I hate flip flops and only drive in shoes or trainers.

Originally Posted by Troy

I hate flip flops and only drive in shoes or trainers.

I like Flip Flops but there is a time and place for them. Driving isn't one. Nor is driving barefoot primarily if you have an accident or have to jump out of your vehicle to do something urgently.

I always drive with shoes on.

Funny questions to which most were no for me except I have no issue having a beer at 9am. Some like coffee. A beer at 9 after being up at 5:30 am doing stuff around the place is perfect. I don't drink at night. Besides it's noon somewhere.

Originally Posted by Troy

We've used the barriers at other times as well, to stop drug runners and dog catchers coming through.
We usually take coffee and food to them during the night shift.

Good on ya, nice to see someone helping the bandits, don’t let them stop but give them a cuppa.

Pretty much always drive barefoot or in my work shoes. Flip flops just seem dangerous.

Originally Posted by Troy

It's a village thing our way and they normally man the village entry barriers during New Year and Songkran holiday periods. We've used the barriers at other times as well, to stop drug runners and dog catchers coming through.

Same as where I stayed

Originally Posted by Troy

We usually take coffee and food to them during the night shift.

They prefer that and when I went there to do my duty, I was often "in the way" esp. when the drug delieveries came in.

Oh yes.

Big black bags and black uniformed boys with M16s stared a the farang sitting there with his Leo

(did a thread on SZS about that)

Even the Phu Yai Baan did big wais for Helge in my moo baan.

Looks like waiting until 9:30 am for a beer is done strictly only during Lent for helge.

Are the footprints on the toilet seat yours Ciz?

Yep, thought so

Originally Posted by Joe 90

Are the footprints on the toilet seat yours Ciz?

Yep, thought so

Laughing at your own not so funny comments at 3.05 AM GMT. I guess you don't have a job to go to in the morning..

Originally Posted by cyrille

Looks like waiting until 9:30 am for a beer is done strictly only during Lent for helge.

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