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Thread: Shit cleaner

  1. #1
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Shit cleaner

    We've had a woman cleaner for a good few years now, and she's absolutely shit. Well what can one expect when she lives in a fcuking hovel. She was never recommended by anyone. My wife took her on when she returned a 5 Baht gold bracelet the wife's mother had misplaced/lost. Anyways, even my wife now moans about her for one thing or another i.e. her shit ironing, her ability to put any effort into mopping or general cleaning. She never changes her routine by what she didn't clean last time she cleans next time. My wife's given up on moaning about the ironing and prefers now to do it herself. My wife also cleans the house when the cleaners not here.
    Okay I moan a lot about the stupid cow, and she is fcuking stupid. But I can't get my wife to dump her due to believing she can't get any one as honest as her in the village. My cleaner, for her good deed, in returning a lost item has got a fcuking job for life.
    Today I pulled the refrigerator away from the wall. I wish I hadn't. Got the missus to tell her to clean the area. My missus later said 'the cleaners done it can you put fridge back.' Over I goes to put it back but it was still dirty. My wife ended up cleaning the area. Are all Thais like my wife? STUPID

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat Backspin's Avatar
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    Maybe you are getting what you pay for ? Premium service comes at a premium price usually

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Backspin View Post
    Maybe you are getting what you pay for ? Premium service comes at a premium price usually
    What do you see as premium service? My wife pays 400 Baht a day which is excellent money for someone who left school at 10 year old and has the IQ of a ferret. We also have to put up with her farming rice/cassava as a second job when she can't clean our house due to farming coming first in rural Ting Tong land.
    Last edited by Pragmatic; 02-04-2024 at 03:34 PM.

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    Thailand Expat taxexile's Avatar
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    you need to introduce the chickenhead to the works of frank zappa!





    The dangerous kitchen
    If it aint't one thing it's another
    In the middle of the night when you get home
    The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy

    The meat thing
    Where the cats ate through the paper
    The can things with the sharp little edges
    That can cut your fingers when you're not looking

    The soft little things on the floor that you step on
    They can all be dangerous
    Sometimes the milk can hurt you
    (If you put it on your cereal
    Before you smell the plastic container)

    And the stuff in the strainer
    Has a mind of its own
    So be very careful
    In the dangerous kitchen

    When the night time has fallen
    And the roaches are crawlin'
    In the kitchen of danger
    You can feel like a stranger

    The bananas are black
    The got flies in the back
    And also the chicken
    In the dish with the foil

    Where the cream is all clabbered
    And the salad is frightful
    Your return in the evening
    Can be less than delightful

    You must walk very careful
    You must not lean against it
    It can get on you clothing
    It can follow you in

    As you walk to the bedroom
    And you take all your clothes off
    While you're sleeping
    It crawls off

    It gets in your bed
    It could get on your face then
    It could eat your complexion
    You could die from the danger

    Of the dangerous kitchen
    Who the fuck wants to clean it?
    It's disgusting and dirty
    The sponge on the drainer

    Is stinky and squirty
    If you squeeze it when you wipe up
    What you get on your hands then
    Could un-balance your glands and
    Make you blind or whatever


    Source: Musixmatch
    Songwriters: Frank Zappa
    The Dangerous Kitchen lyrics © Munchkin Music Co

    The Dangerous Kitchen lyrics © Munchkin Music Co

  5. #5
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    There are currently 18 users browsing this thread. (3 members and 15 guests)




    There hasn't been such a good SEO title since Lu pretended to not know how to add coolant to a car.


    Though the resulting new signups may be a bit Jeff-esque in nature.

  6. #6
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    malmomike77's Avatar
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    First thing I would do is tell the kids to stop throwing their food down the back of the fridge.

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    In Lao we hired the wife's sister in law a geologist by trade but had never put her study into action due to becoming pregnant. She was great.but got offered a teaching position so left. So next we hired her brothers hmong wife, I had heard that the Lao really don't think much of the Hmong but her bro was a bit of a meathead so it was decided ( not by me) that it would help them. But honestly and I hate to say this she was probably the most stupid person I've ever met and was a surly bitch and was quite ugly to boot. The washing machine was a new concept to her and she had to be extensively trained just to turn it on . I was away a lot of the time so didn't really see a lot of it but in the end my wife had to sack her as she wasn't even doing what she was tasked with which wasn't much. The wife lost a bit of face but personally I was glad not to see that ugly fucker around.The wife decided to do the housework herself. Win win

  8. #8
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    The wife decided to do the housework herself.



    Too many lazy layabouts. My parents are/were busy business people running businesses 17 hours a day, and raised 3 kids without any outside help cooking dinner or mopping the floor.

  9. #9
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post



    Too many lazy layabouts.


    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    My parents are/were busy business people running businesses 17 hours a day
    I thought your mother was a teacher?

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post



    Too many lazy layabouts. My parents are/were busy business people running businesses 17 hours a day, and raised 3 kids without any outside help cooking dinner or mopping the floor.
    It's hard when there butt ugly though.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post



    Too many lazy layabouts. My parents are/were busy business people running businesses 17 hours a day, and raised 3 kids without any outside help cooking dinner or mopping the floor.
    Who did the housework? You kids? Was the house untidy?

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    Hmong housekeeper.







    Sorry.

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    Who did the housework? You kids? Was the house untidy?
    House ?

    They lived in an old cardboard box

    But it was a tidy one

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    BLD's Avatar
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    Not yer folks, obviously. This chick was on good money as far as I could see but was such a [at][at][at][at] to deal with. I think she lasted a month. Mrs bld so relieved

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    Not yer folks, obviously.
    Let’s just say they aren’t from a culture which values a clean house. A bit of an alien concept to a true tribal woman.

  16. #16
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    I'm not sure why the lao don't like the hmong much..it can't be because there shitty housekeepers . I worked some in the mining sector and great guys but seemed that they knew the were treated differently? One time in vientiane we got invited to a wedding of an aussie that I didn't know so well and his hmong girl. When I told Mrs bld about the invitation she no way I'm going to a Hmong wedding,so this my first experience about racism in lao? You can say the same in Australia some discrimination about the natives. It's pretty weird to be honest. Mrs bld doesn't strike me as a racist but she sure had an opinion about the hmong. Never a Dull moment when you marry a lao girl

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    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    Let’s just say they aren’t from a culture which values a clean house. A bit of an alien concept to a true tribal woman.
    Exactly,straw brooms and bamboo huts etc

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    ^^ Heaps of racism in SE Asia. You should hear the Thai Yai talk about Issan people!

    I say that about the Hmong because I have been into many Hmong houses. I’m talking country people, not modern city dwellers.

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    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    I thought your mother was a teacher?
    Was part of it. She then went into early childhood psychology educational thingy for those with development and behavioral problems. A private establishment treating/teaching kids like Joe and Chico, and also the likes of PH, smeg and Ant, and ran family owned grocery stores, or shops as you and I would probably know them as.



    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    Who did the housework? You kids? Was the house untidy?
    Mum, dad, 2 much older sisters. Other than the habit of wiping my face on the carpet when eating in my room it was fine.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    I'm not sure why the lao don't like the hmong much.
    They fought for the wrong side during the (Vietnam) War

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    and raised 3 kids without any outside help cooking dinner or mopping the floor.
    How did the kids turn out?

    My mum and dad both worked full time and my mum had a 'home help' for one morning a week... she just didn't have the time to clean the house herself. And there was no big money involved, my mum was a village primary school teacher and my dad and electrical engineer.

    But things are obviously different here. Compare that 70s English scenarioto bloody Thailand... I need a full-time gardener just to get the kid to school and take care of a few pets when I'm away... I could go on.

    But as for Prag's thread title, that could be interpreted in two ways...

    My gardener is pretty well hopeless... but he's definitely honest, I trust him complicity with the daughter and she loves him to bits and calls him 'Uncle'. And the dogs like him as well... so what's not to like? I need him and put up with the 'hopeless' parts for the necessity of having someone somewhat capable at home while I'm away offshore.

    My wife is truly a 'shit cleaner'. On the rare occasion that we have visitors, I lock the downstairs toilet and tell the poor visitors that it's not working, we're waiting for builders, and send them upstairs... it is that disgusting. I even encourage Ootai to relieve himself outside in the garden, and he's an outback, WA Aussie and must have seen a few foul dunnies in his time.

    But the other interpretation...

    I took Anna to the vet today and we stopped a few doors up at the ATM beforehand to prepare for the bill, and I gradually became aware of an awful smell wafting up... and it transpired that while I was doing my business, Anna was also doing hers and had curled out a humongous turd right at my feet. I thought, 'dear God Anna, why here?'... but must admit I was glad that it hadn't been laid out on the back seat of the car. a few minutes previous.

    The car was nearby and I looked for a plastic bag to pick it up, but there was nothing, and much to my shame, no-one had seen, I left it there and went on to the vets for Anna's check-up.

    Anyway, after the check-up I was still feeling guilty and had picked up a plastic bag to use to pick the turd up, it just didn't feel right to leave it there. It's just accepted to take this stuff home in the West.

    It was still glistening there in the sun, on the tiles by the ATMs.



    We waited for a quiet time... but then the guy in those ridiculous knee-length jeans reversed into it, and he wasn't at all happy (and I really can't blame him). So, we got in the car, rapido.

    But the intention was there... even with all the other shite you see on the pavements in Isaan. But I still don't feel right about it.

    So, my wife is a 'Shit cleaner' and I was almost a 'Shit cleaner', but wish I had been a better 'Shit cleaner'.

    We should get on better!

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat taxexile's Avatar
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    Mrs bld doesn't strike me as a racist but she sure had an opinion about the hmong.
    the indigenous inhabitants of every country in the world will hold opinions, sometimes disparaging or belittling, about newcomers, people of different appearance, culture, habits and behaviour.

    and newcomers to a country will also hold similar opinions about their hosts.

    it is not racist to hold these opinions, it is quite normal, and believe it or not they are based on the undeniable fact that people do look, behave and deport themselves in their own unique way, ways that others may like or dislike, just as they are entitled to.

    this is not racism.

    racism is discriminating against people because of their appearance, ethnicity etc.etc.

    if the hmong are people to whom tidiness and cleanliness is anathema, then to employ them as cleaners is inviting disappointment for both parties and it is certainly not racist to refuse them employment in that capacity. they are simply unqualified for that kind of work, in the same way as a blind doctor is unlikely to be able to perform successful surgery.

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat taxexile's Avatar
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    and I looked for a plastic bag
    my experience is that in thailand you are never more than 6 inches away from a plastic bag.


    ..... or, come to mention it, a dog turd.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    ^^ Heaps of racism in SE Asia. You should hear the Thai Yai talk about Issan people!

    I say that about the Hmong because I have been into many Hmong houses. Iím talking country people, not modern city dwellers.
    There is racism/ colorism in Asia. The S. Koreans look down on Filipinos, Indos, Thai, etc - generally those who are darker and come from poorer countries. They also discriminate on the N Koreans (those who sought asylum).

    Many "lowlander" Filipinos are racist to the Aeta & Ati tribes - those who are darker skinned and have African features. (Aetas live in Luzon while the Ati tribes live in the Visayas regions/islands).

    It's good that now, there are some Aetas who have been educated/ have college degrees so they're advocating for their rights.

    I think ppl/ Filipinos are also being more PC (in a good way) with regards to the tribes. Back when I was a kid, other kids would tease those who had curly hair and/ or dark skin and say "Isa kang Ita/ Negrito" (you're a Negrito). Being called a Negrito was a slur.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    ^^ Heaps of racism in SE Asia. You should hear the Thai Yai talk about Issan people!

    I say that about the Hmong because I have been into many Hmong houses. I’m talking country people, not modern city dwellers.
    Yeah that's how they roll. It turned out that joy the wife's bro had met this hmong girl while they were both working in a factory,in vientiane he got her pregnant then her relatives turned up to confiscate his scooter. And promised to give it back if joy agreed to marry her. The mother in law had to do all the negotiations but being a good old girl she did all of that with dignity and
    without racism . I love my Mil to bits and I'm pretty sure she's impressed with me to. Poor ole joy is up a ducks ass now.

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