Thread: Dirk goes for a wander.

Haha - you’re a Scot aintyou? And when were you there? April. It’s not like it was the middle of winter. I visited Croatia in December/January… now that was cold!

It wasn't too cold, it was wet.

Tuesday, 16th May.


Welcome to Slovakia


Welcome to Bratislava

We stopped at some kind of dungeon bar, got some local intel and booked an AirBnb.


It took a while, but we finally accepted that this was our rental.

We finally got in and threw our laundry in the machine.


There was a Lidl nearby and we bought some supplies, beer, bread, cold cuts and cheese.

And a massive bag of pretzels.

We sunk a heap of beers and bison grass vodka while we waited for the washing to hang, and I fried up some haloumi and smoked cheese crackers.

Then we ventured out into the night.




We met a Thai girl in here with her Slovakian husband. At first he was getting a bit weird with the young team (a lot younger than him anyway) chatting away with his old lady then we explained we lived in Thailand too then we all went on and had a pretty good laugh. Apparently the barman and owner was a well known local Actor. He joined us for drinks too.




















Again, what's with these places that don't like photos?

Everything went a bit tits up from here...

The last picture was just before 2am

Here's the chat convo that was ongoing until almost 5am:











So basically I wondered off for whatever reason, probably going home. But he booked the digs and we got a taxi to that last place so I'd lost my bearings.

I knew we were staying next to a Lidl and a Tesco, so when I saw a Lidl I made a beeline for it. Wrong. Then I saw a Tesco in the distance, went there, wrong.

This went on til I'd been kicked out of about 3 Tescos and 2 Lidls by walking in (closed but night shift stacking shelves) and trying to figure out where I am and where I need to go to.

Mate's not answering the phone.

Walking around the Bratislava slums in the middle of the night in the pissing rain.

I had started looking for a dry doorway to sleep in until morning, when I managed to flag down a taxi and the driver spoke English. I told him I was lost and to take me to a police station or something. Told him the Tesco/Lidl thing. He then tells me he saw me earlier and knew exactly where I was staying. Boost. It was a large pedestrian zone so I still had to walk for a bit. I poured the water out of my shoes on the stairs and peeled my saturated clothes off at the door , wrapped myself in a blanket and drank a beer before bed.

Good one for the grandkids.

Some pics of our apartment. The bedrooms were both equally sized double rooms.

Pretty decent, 9,500 baht for 2 nights and we got our laundry all done while we were there.

Oh yeah, that first night in Bratislava we stumbled in to the Red Lion Pub, which was rammed full of backpackers that were on a guided pub crawl, for backpackers. So we joined in.

We knew from searching accommodation that there was a Wild Elephant Hostel and an Urban Elephant Hostel. So when ever someone told us which one they were staying at we just said we were at the other one.

There was some questionable looking dudes guiding the crawl and everyone was fucked on coke. Except us, obviously.

Wednesday morning we just chilled out for a bit, my mate had some phone meetings and I spent the morning on video call preparing my 7 year old for his 1st test of the new SchoolYear.

Basically my Mrs was pissed at me and she was punishing me, cos she had no idea where I was, why I was there or when I was coming home.



He had to learn all the vocabulary with the correct spellings and also me able to match them to the correct meanings.

Maybe I went to special school cos I wasn't doing shit like this when I was 7.

My Mrs was sitting off screen and I managed to get a few quips in, such:

Dominant Trait, Wee Man, something you get from just 1 parent. For example: Your brain. You obviously got that from me"

Mrs: FUCK OFF.

Anyway, we went over it for a few hours until his bed time and he called me after school so say he only got 2 wrong.

Not bad cos I was hanging.

Originally Posted by dirk diggler

Oh yeah, that first night in Bratislava

I also just had a flashback of standing in a doorway eating pizza slices cos it was pissing down and it was too late for the pizza guy to let us in.

Originally Posted by dirk diggler

Maybe I went to special school cos I wasn't doing shit like this when I was 7.

Or 14

What the hell ?

Dirk, you're a disgrace. Nice read that.

After that we went to a G&T VR Bar.

It was a 10 minute walk and we got soaked to the balls.

Had a few beers and had a go on the VR. 30 mins each and it was a lot of fun.




























At this rock bar we bumped into the pub crawl again.
You'd think they would know the circuit after the first night.
Or maybe it's just not the same without the guides...

Staropramen is a quality beer, they recently started selling it in big 660ml bottles here. Pilsner Urquell's is another quality Czech beer, lovely cans with a fascinating 6pack ring, these things matter.

Bratislava (whistle) looks great, nice pics

Good luck to wee man, hope he does well!

Originally Posted by helge

Or 14

What the hell ?

Tell me about it!

Originally Posted by Reg Dingle

Dirk, you're a disgrace. Nice read that.

Just building up to the weekend...

Originally Posted by Bonecollector

Staropramen is a quality beer

Yeah happy with that on tap. An 8pack from Lidl was practically free.

My Canadian Mate had never seen or heard of Lidle before. Running around the place shouting "fkn cheap, fkn cheap" buying all the cold cuts and cheeses he could get his hands on.

Originally Posted by Bonecollector

Bratislava (whistle) looks great, nice pics

Really cool place. I love they way Central Europe has all these narrow little bobbled streets to explore. Ant e bars, restaurants etc are all very 'dungeony'.
Would love to go back, I think a long weekend would be great.

Originally Posted by Bonecollector

Good luck to wee man, hope he does well!

He nailed it, cheers.

Next day we were just kinda dossing around and my mate had work calls. So we planned to check out at noon and get the hare car back to Vienna Train Station then jump on a train to Brno, Czech Republic.

So anyway I jumps in the shower while he's finishing his work call then when I get out he jumps in the shower. I''m in my room then realise most of my clothes are on the radiators and drying rack in the kitchen. I'm walking around in the scud when a large woman bursts in the front door. Awkward.

Her: Ah, no problem, I see all before. Why you no leaving already?
Me: Ummmm, cos it's only 11am. We are just packing now.
Her: No no no, 11 in the checking out time. No problem, we work together.

So I kinda scuttle with all my laundry back to my room to get something on and she just follows me straight in there and starts stripping the bed. Asking where we're from and I tell her our situations. Oh how wonderful, her daughted spends 3 month a year in Bangkok bla bla bla. My mate comes out of the shower and pops his head in to see who the fk I'm talking to. Takes a look at her, takes a look at me:

Him: I don't even want to know.
Me: Calm yer tits she's here to evict us.



Our digs from the back. Maybe the penthouse will be ready for us next time.




The rain has actually stopped for a bit.
We came through this wee town called Hainburg an der Donau




It seemed like a good portion of this town was still within the old Burgh Walls with the castle up on the hill there in the last pic.
Some kind of Game of Thrones shit going on, perhaps.


Back in Vienna


Next stop Brno!

Great stuff looking forward to Brno pix

Brno was really cool, I can't thank you enough for the recommendation as I'd never heard of it before.

Originally Posted by david44

Great stuff looking forward to Brno pix

Loads of Brno pics!

Holy crap, that’s gonna take awhile to upload!

We actually only had 1 night planned in Brno but we decided to make it 2 so we returned the hire car a day early.

Really glad we did that, Brno had a lot to offer.

Really super awesome cool place.

Aaaaand, it stopped raining for the rest of the trip.

Ok, let's go, Brno!

For some reason we stayed at the Marriot in Brno. which was very nice. They upgraded our rooms, gave us each champagne in an ice bucket and nuts with a nice wee welcome note.

Good start.


The Courtyard Marriot












Room with a view




Chicago 30, sounded alright but it wasn't. We walked in and the place falls silent. All eyes on us. Rammed full of dodgy looking locals all sat around with very serious faces, smokey to the point you could barely breathe and the ice-hockey was on. Czech Republic vs Slovenia, and Slovenia are winning 2-0. We ask the old battle-axe behind the, sort of, bar for 2 pints (show 2 fingers and say "beva"). We take what we were given. She wont take Euros. Fuck sake, not again. Mate goes to ATM, pays the bill, change is wrong. Fuck it say nothing.

CR had an almighty comeback to win 6-2 and suddenly we didn't feel like were were about to become statistics.

We made our excuses and headed up to the Cathedral, where something unexpected was happening...

I seem to have lost the picture I got but when we got up there we saw a crown of people which I thought was a guided tour so I said lets get closer and listen in to the history. Then it suddenly became evident there was a gang fight going on. It was a good 2 sided brawl and a lot of spectators that seemed to there just for that. The bigger lads took advantage and and gained territory, backing them off down the far side. There was a good amount of blood. Anyway, we'd got close enough and we carried on into an Irish pub for a few drinks and some local info as this was our first chat with any locals. The barman told me there was always fighting between the Turks and the Ukrainians, I think, but don't hold me to that.














Pub. I had a pint of Punk.

This was the entrance to Bunker 10-Z
We went there next day.








Fresh home baked tattie crisps/chips
The table next to us had some so we asked for the same, good shout.