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Thread: Narrow Escapes

  1. #1
    A Cockless Wonder
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    Narrow Escapes

    I was swinging in my hammock with my early afternoon coffee when I was rudely brought down to earth with a crash when one of the ropes popped.

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_175637-jpg

    All my weight crashed my spine onto this Agave stump which I had left sticking up to foster new Agave pups

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_175645-jpg

    I was lucky this protrudish wegde edge did not separate my T11 and T12 thoracic vertebrae, which would have been game over on the very first day of the World Cup

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_181024-jpg

    I checked the second rope and it was about to go

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_184447-jpg

    You can see it is the rope rubbing on the concrete lip that is doing the damage so I will implement some kind of rubbing pad to protect the rope

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_184457-jpg

    It is now restrung and reswung. I will also implement a 2nd rope loop on each end just a tiny bit looser than the new 1st ropes so next time the main rope pops it will fail-safe to the 2nd rope

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_185504-jpg

    What narrow escapes have you got away with and how many lives do you have left?

  2. #2
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    ^ You're lucky that stump wasn't positioned 18 inches lower or it would have been game over tonight as well!

  3. #3
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    That cheap plastic rope decay in the sun. A back up rope may help or your weight may break that too. Restring it with better rope.

    PS don't leave anything underneath it

  4. #4
    Praise Jesus
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    Just do up a photo thread 'My lovely spread in the hills of the gold coast'.





    Spread means property.


    Not a reverse mirror glute-spread with yer bollocks showing.

  5. #5
    SANS SOUCI
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    As many an ole Rubba said 2 in a sling time for fling, I hope he thrill was well timed as in a tug of two halves, what away to go.

    Your bf in the photo is older and whiter than I had imagined, is she former Luftwaffe pilot or have you hooked up LD the pollit wobbler for weeknd wibbling?

    PM me the name of the skin lightening cream ASAP , the gals down our way are "gagging" for it

  6. #6
    A Cockless Wonder
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrWilly View Post
    A back up rope may help or your weight may break that too.
    I did toy with the idea of putting some chain round the pillar and tying the rope to the chain. But I think that would damage the concrete render finish.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    ^ You're lucky that stump wasn't positioned 18 inches lower or it would have been game over tonight as well!
    That would have been a tragedy as I needed to be on my best game later when a new FWD hoved into view

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_193121-jpg

    Bearing aloft a long-legged maiden from the horn of Africa.

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_203744-jpg

    Miss South Sudan came back after 2 months blowing in the wind (and I think she might be a size 8 )

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_195719c-jpg

    It is good to start the World Cup with a companion to blow your vuvuzela.

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221120_223113-jpg


    Narrow Escapes-202207061220-main-cropped_1657084846-jpg

    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    PM me the name of the skin lightening cream ASAP
    South Sudanese skin is the same colour as Terry's All Gold. No magic creams will put a dent in that duskiest of hues.

  7. #7
    Custom Title Changer
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    ^ Nice!!!!

    You could get a bicycle chain (one covered in plastic) and use that to tie off the rope to the pillar.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topper View Post
    ^ Nice!!!!

    You could get a bicycle chain (one covered in plastic) and use that to tie off the rope to the pillar.
    It's these inside tips from the Hannibal Lecturer of SZS you won't find n Thai Visa with Mods burying gfs in buckets and murderous lawyers

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrWilly View Post
    That cheap plastic rope decay in the sun. A back up rope may help or your weight may break that too. Restring it with better rope.

    PS don't leave anything underneath it
    Except perhaps, a safety net?

    I do worry for Loopers safety sometimes, but hammock swinging, whilst fraught with danger, is hardly bungee jumping is it?

  10. #10
    Being chased by sloths Backspin's Avatar
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    I always wondered if that happened. Maybe some rope with a wire core is in order.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Bearing aloft a long-legged maiden from the horn of Africa.
    I am all in favour of horny African maidens. However, a Christmas tree in November is soooo wrong.

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Lazada or Shoppee?

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shutree View Post
    However, a Christmas tree in November is soooo wrong.
    I counted at least 3 of them.

  14. #14
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    I had an accident with a hammock some years ago. I had been doing some DIY work on mad-ex's hotel in Phuket. I was up a ladder and somehow fell off, turning my body as I fell to protect my head from the concrete where I was about to land some 3 metres below. I landed on my left upper arm, tearing ligaments and creating a LOT of pain.

    The doctor told me to rest my arm. So I went home and climbed carefully into my hammock, suspended over a concrete path. The hammock broke and I landed on the same upper arm again. You could have heard my screams of pain all the way to Samui.
    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    I did toy with the idea of putting some chain round the pillar and tying the rope to the chain. But I think that would damage the concrete render finish.
    Take a length of rubber hose , put the rope thought and it would prevent chafing. If the ropes of the hammock could not be feed through the rope , split the hose on one side.
    Same will work with chain if you would rather use that and are concerned about damage to the cement .
    Last edited by Buckaroo Banzai; 22-11-2022 at 10:34 AM.
    The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

  16. #16
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    Or settle for a combo of BB and Simons handy tips and go for Rubba Ho's

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shutree View Post
    I am all in favour of horny African maidens. However, a Christmas tree in November is soooo wrong.
    In the Philippines, Christmas season starts in September (start of the -ber months). Malls bring out the tinsel and Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" begins to blast from the speakers.

    There's also Jose Mari Chan (a local singer/ songwriter) who wrote/ sang a Christmas song in the 90s and it became so popular. Now, he's become a meme for Christmas/ September and he has embraced it. He's an endorser for Shopee and IKEA.

    P.S.

    @looper - I'm glad your body parts are relatively unscathed & in good working condition. Btw, Ms. Africa seems to have toned legs - good on her.

  18. #18
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    I never got to
    Discover the delights of the.sudanese dollys i was in the other part
    Of sudan
    The muslim.part

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    I never got to
    Discover the delights of the.sudanese dollys i was in the other part
    Of sudan
    The muslim.part
    Struth!

  20. #20
    A Cockless Wonder
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckaroo Banzai View Post
    Take a length of rubber hose , put the rope thought and it
    Done and done. Thank you sir. Another TeakDOOR Top Tip

    Reused an old inner tube from my scooter.

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221129_201225-jpg

    Only the load bearing rope is protected. The back-up fail-safe rope won't wear out as there is no tension on it (he said confidently).

    Quote Originally Posted by Shutree View Post
    I am all in favour of horny African maidens. However, a Christmas tree in November is soooo wrong.
    When it comes to Christmas you could take a leaf out of the Filipinas books.

    Quote Originally Posted by katie23 View Post
    In the Philippines, Christmas season starts in September
    Katie is on the money.

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221112_211406-jpg

    When Kris Kringle comes to town you go early and you go hard.

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221112_211422-jpg


    I managed to track down some more figures for this year's Nativity Scene


  21. #21
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    I managed to track down some more figures for this year's Nativity Scene
    Would look good if you could squeeze a Stuka in there


  22. #22
    Excommunicated baldrick's Avatar
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    your diorama lacks a goat - a sexy goat

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    How many religions does your harem cover ?

  24. #24
    A Cockless Wonder
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    Quote Originally Posted by helge View Post
    Would look good if you could squeeze a Stuka in there
    Curious that you should mention the dreaded Stuka Helge

    I have always thought the Stuka to be the most gloriously evil looking aircraft of the entire war so I leapt at the chance to get my 1st 1/32 scale example this week

    To toast the most gloriously evil aircraft of the Luftwaffe you need to break out the most wickedly evil liqueur in the drinks cabinet.

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221203_023815-jpg

    The Stuka started life as a dive bomber but was co-opted into ground attack on the eastern front by adding moster kannon under the wings.

    Narrow Escapes-img_20221203_024202-jpg

    Demolishing Russian tanks by the division is a fine tradition first started by the Luftwaffe and still continued to this day.

    Prost!

  25. #25
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    ^ What's with the fried egg?

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