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  1. #1
    A Cockless Wonder
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    A question of crumpet

    To the rear of my breakfast platter are 2 halves of a hot buttered muffin with jam. Too easy.

    At the front is a crumpet which presents a crumpet-conundrum.

    A question of crumpet-img_20220615_144440-jpg

    I noticed that one side of the crumpet is smooth and the other side has deep holes running through to nearly the other side

    I decided to apply the butter and jam on the holey side since the holes would hold more jam.

    But which is the correct side?

    What would the queen do?

  2. #2
    SANS SOUCI
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    While some seek to enter crumpet from the rear , I'm wholly with you bar the jam, usually content with just salted butter served piping hot from the grill, a smear of prawn mayo, Promite or Vegemite (these are improved versions of the English arse gravy Marmite)

    Also tasty but double the calories a slice of Bega melted is also nice, may wish to pass a slice of beetroot over it before hurling it in the trashcan.

    Hours of harmless fun for those who enjoy muffin can be had trying to screw them on to erect nipples.
    Quote Originally Posted by DrWilly View Post
    complete fuckin moron

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    I decided to apply the butter and jam on the holey side since the holes would hold more jam.

    But which is the correct side?

    What would the queen do?
    You don't wanna be buttering the brown.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
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    Always hole side up for crumpets and they must be hot.

    As with tea cakes and muffins, I only have butter.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Troy View Post
    Always hole side up for crumpets and they must be hot.
    Troy has it, but....the butter and it has to be salted has to be near frozen and you carve it off so you have a hot crumpet and a slab of butter on top which melts in your mouth and then doesn't leak out the bottom, not one likes crumpet with leaky bottoms.

  6. #6
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    Iím pretty sure it does matter which hole just enjoy the crumpets!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by malmomike77 View Post
    one likes crumpet with leaky bottoms
    one for the hall of fame

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat Fondles's Avatar
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    Love me some crumpet, make mine fresh every Sunday for breakfast.

  9. #9
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    You need to butter the fk out of that crumpet's holes, all of them, til it's dripping all over the plate.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat

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    English Crumpets - my breakfast most days. With blackberry jam and fresh orange juice.

    My Australian neghbour makes them for me.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat panama hat's Avatar
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    And the jam needs to spread to the edge of said crumpet . . .

  12. #12
    Busy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    What would the queen do?
    This queen would have an English muffin is what we here in Canaduh call them. No crumpets here, but all the same. All look good, forgot the question lol.

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarilynMonroe View Post
    This queen would have an English muffin is what we here in Canaduh call them.
    Are you sure they are the same thing? If they are solid on both sides and have holes in the middle when you cut them in half then they are muffins not crumpets.

  14. #14
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Crumpet and English muffin same, same but different. Both make damn fine brekkie.

    A question of crumpet-traditional_eggs_benedict-jpg

  15. #15
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    ^yes, same but not really. English muffin has a different look and texture.

    Quote Originally Posted by Troy View Post
    Are you sure they are the same thing? If they are solid on both sides and have holes in the middle when you cut them in half then they are muffins not crumpets.
    see above, I haven't seen a crumpet since I was in old England. We normally eat English muffins..they don't have holes and are crunchier toasted.

  16. #16
    A Cockless Wonder
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    I did 2 daring crumpet experiments today in the name of science...

    A question of crumpet-img_20220616_144922-jpg

    One has the crumpet upside down with jam and butter on the flat side just to double-check what it would be like... not as yummy as on the holey side.

    The other has jam on only 2/3 so I can try only butter.... have to say with jam is a tonne more yum to my taste buds.

    Quote Originally Posted by MarilynMonroe View Post
    This queen would have an English muffin is what we here in Canaduh call them
    Vancouver was where I first discovered the delights of the English muffin. My auntie had them in the fridge.

  17. #17
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    Just salted butter for me loops, you can keep the diabetes spread.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat David48atTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    A question of crumpet-img_20220615_144440-jpg
    Humm ... I thought you were more a brown crumpet man?

    Do they make wholemeal crumpets?

  19. #19
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    You British men crack me up. you sit talking crumpets like a bunch of old women. But then I thought maybe this is supposed to be humor. I never understand British humor. Carry on mates, nobody saw me come in so I'll just slide out the back. "Do you butter your crumpet on the holy side or the smooth side?" Any non-members reading this, sign in as a member, go to the members section, I dug a hole yesterday. It ain't much just a fucking hole in the ground, but it beats the fuck out of crumpets.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarilynMonroe View Post
    ^yes, same but not really. English muffin has a different look and texture.
    Quote Originally Posted by MarilynMonroe View Post
    No crumpets here, but all the same.

    Pretty sure that there's no crumpet left in Canada or England. The old English rose is a myth.

    Better off looking in Thailand or SE Asia.

  21. #21
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    Usually just butter for me but on occasion when I need a little more of a fill, I will go with peanut butter. Always with tea though!

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by tunk View Post
    You British men crack me up. you sit talking crumpets like a bunch of old women. But then I thought maybe this is supposed to be humor. I never understand British humor. Carry on mates, nobody saw me come in so I'll just slide out the back. "Do you butter your crumpet on the holy side or the smooth side?" Any non-members reading this, sign in as a member, go to the members section, I dug a hole yesterday. It ain't much just a fucking hole in the ground, but it beats the fuck out of crumpets.
    The British male, one of life's great mysteries.

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by tunk View Post
    go to the members section, I dug a hole yesterday. It ain't much just a fucking hole in the ground, but it beats the fuck out of crumpets.
    Why didn't you pay your factotum to dig it?

    And I've heard about people preferring holes and objects to a little bit of crumpet. Sounds weird to me. Wasssit called? Obectophilia?

  24. #24
    Excommunicated baldrick's Avatar
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    moist crumpet is the best to eat

  25. #25
    En route
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    What's the difference between a crumpet and a pancake?

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