IKEA the Swedish Mafia a warning!

**Joe 90** · 07-12-2021, 06:43 AM

A trip to IKEA is not for the faint hearted.

Firstly you must be fit to circumnavigate the miles of store to which there is no escape from the shrewdly designed conveyor belt of downhill eye candy at reasonable prices.
But the Swedish mafia cater to all physical needs.
They conveniently placed seating and comfort zones to chill out at every step of the way.

IKEA is a wolf in sheeps clothing!

To cut a long story short, you park on top then enter the very reasonable priced restaurant first with unlimited drinks and coffee (they're shrewed enough to ply you with unlimited caffeine to get you through your experience and extract as much if your hard earned cash as possible).

Its impossible to deviate from the one way system and descend the four floors of household goods without purchasing something.

They have strategically placed items to cater for every age group.
I witnessed on harassed parent tonight with a trolley full of cute fluffy toys, they only went in for a rug.

I went tonight for some Xmas decorations but mostly the meatballs and came our a few quid lighter having purchased...

6 glasses
A bed
A floating shelf
4 lampshades
Wardrobe
Kitchen utensils
Teflon coated frying pan(no danger of the teflon being scrapped off now

)
Bed linen
Floor mat
Baubles
A rug
Yes and a cuddly toy.

I must admit they do have an perfect business model, but be warned there's no such thing as a cheap dinner..

£5 Meatballs and chips, yummy..

IKEA the Swedish Mafia a warning!-20211206_174712-jpg

Dancing on the ceiling..

IKEA the Swedish Mafia a warning!-20211206_192917-jpg

A pit stop, one of many..

IKEA the Swedish Mafia a warning!-20211206_223845-jpg

Spot the Changster ..

IKEA the Swedish Mafia a warning!-20211206_223956-jpg

Check out is at the bottom of the complex then it's the elevator back to the car park at the top.
Fitting everything in the car is another story.

Respect IKEA

Btw I hate fvcking shopping!!!!!!!

**Bonecollector** · 07-12-2021, 07:18 AM

^It is a fucking massive money sinkhole. We love to go for the hotdogs but always seem to come away spending a fortune.

**Joe 90** · 07-12-2021, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by Bonecollector

^It is a fucking massive money sinkhole. We love to go for the hotdogs but always seem to come away spending a fortune.

They have hotdogs at your IKEA?

We had a choice of
Meatballs
Vegan meatballs
Fish
Lamb shank

With mash, or chips and gravy with peas but no baked beans.

They do however have an interesting desert called diam cake..

**david44** · 07-12-2021, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by Joe 90

Veg "n" meet balls

I think we've foud yer Tindr handle

Veg 'n' Meet Balls,

Willy cumback next weak and tell us how the date went,

I think a night with a hommekneebus driver will be a Lorra Lorra larfs

**tomcat** · 07-12-2021, 07:33 AM

...we went to IKEA last Sunday looking for a trendy floor lamp and votive candles...picked up both as well as new bath mats, clothes hangers, votive candle holders and a bedside clock...B5,500...they also had a large selection of live Christmas trees for sale (1.6 and 2 meters) that seemed popular with Thais and farangs...the menu offerings had even less appeal this visit than last...

**bsnub** · 07-12-2021, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by Joe 90

With mash, or chips and gravy with peas but no baked beans.

Got to love those Swedes.

**david44** · 07-12-2021, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by tomcat

.the menu offerings had even less appeal this visit than last...

The thrallof the meatball with gran bury is waning for meet ooh

**david44** · 07-12-2021, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by bsnub

Got to love those Swedes.

mosad svensk as the Finn's might prefer mashed swede.

I'd suggest wireless Rutabaga or teh Ruski version Boorish Pasternak

**Fondles** · 07-12-2021, 07:44 AM

That pitstop lounge, some staff need to make a casting couch video.

**panama hat** · 07-12-2021, 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by Joe 90

They have hotdogs at your IKEA?

Not in the restaurant, they're usually on the other side of the check-outs along with soft-serve ice-cream, samosas and the packaged food (chips, cookies, jams) section in general.

Speaking of which . . . IKEA is coming to Auckland soon . . . cat among the pigeons . . .

**Joe 90** · 07-12-2021, 07:48 AM

Originally Posted by bsnub

Got to love those Swedes.

Don't be antogonising Helge, btw wheres Lom?

**Bonecollector** · 07-12-2021, 07:48 AM

Originally Posted by Joe 90

They have hotdogs at your IKEA?

We had a choice of
Meatballs
Vegan meatballs
Fish
Lamb shank

With mash, or chips and gravy with peas but no baked beans.

They do however have an interesting desert called diam cake..

Yeah they have most of that in my local Bang Yai. They have take away franks and buns, so you can have the pleasure at home....and I do. I'll get you pics next time I go, we need a blind.

**Joe 90** · 07-12-2021, 08:02 AM

How do you make a Venetian blind?

It may be an expensive trip for that 400baht bind!

Btw....

You poke him in the eye!

**Buckaroo Banzai** · 07-12-2021, 08:19 AM

I live a deprived life, I have never been to an IKEA.

**Joe 90** · 07-12-2021, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by Buckaroo Banzai

I live a deprived life, I have never been to an IKEA.

If you value your bank balance then steer well clear.

**Bonecollector** · 07-12-2021, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Joe 90

How do you make a Venetian blind?

It may be an expensive trip for that 400baht bind!

Btw....

You poke him in the eye!

5555 I see what you did there, Mancunian humor never gets old mate

It's not too far from us, just a few clicks up route 9, getting a few picture frames to finally hang some of my photography up as well. God knows what else we will come out with, probably a sore butthole. I will update with pics don't worry

**Buckaroo Banzai** · 07-12-2021, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by Joe 90

If you value your bank balance then steer well clear.

Indeed I do, but no one more so than the missus LOL.
Personally I have an aversion to Prestwood furniture and work, Two thing involved in IKEA furniture I assume since I have never been there.

**tomcat** · 07-12-2021, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by Joe 90

If you value your bank balance then steer well clear.

...nonsense: cheap stuff, cheaply made...handling the bulk of purchases may be awkward, however...

**tomcat** · 07-12-2021, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by Buckaroo Banzai

Personally I have an aversion to Prestwood furniture

...if you mean particle board: the place is lousy with it...

**Fondles** · 07-12-2021, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by Buckaroo Banzai

I live a deprived life, I have never been to an IKEA.

Me neither, I just hate shopping in general though.

**malmomike77** · 07-12-2021, 11:59 AM

I quite like their 365 crockery range - i like plain white simple plates and bowls and they are tough wearing feldspar porcelain. Their kitchen storage stuff, particularly kilner jars are excellent and cheap. The whole experience of navigating the mouth breathers pushing trolleys whilst their offspring meander and block your way leaves me wanting to use the kitchen utensils on them.

**Stumpy** · 07-12-2021, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by Buckaroo Banzai

I live a deprived life, I have never been to an IKEA.

Me neither. No desire either. I have seen some of their furniture. I always thought of it as cheap throw away college dorm furnishings. Use it and move out and leave it behind.

**Buckaroo Banzai** · 07-12-2021, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by Stumpy

Me neither. No desire either. I have seen some of their furniture. I always thought of it as cheap throw away college dorm furnishings. Use it and move out and leave it behind.

That's the impression I got from their website. Trust me , I am not holier than thou, I got my "frugal" side. Slowly I learn that when you try to be "frugal" it ends up costing more in the end when you have to replace the "frugal" item. I mean some times I have no choice and I get what I can afford. But if I can I try to buy as good as I can. All our furniture in Thailand is Teak, and it really did not cost that much more. Particle board beds were about 6-7,000 bht the Teak beds was 12,000. and they will be around long after I am not. LOL.

**sabang** · 07-12-2021, 03:02 PM

Well this is our local offering-

Not too bad, but not incredibly cheap either. Not enough to entice me to drive across town anyway.

**david44** · 07-12-2021, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by Joe 90

How do you make a Venetian blind?

Very good Joseppi, but some dating advice

How do you make a peach cordial?

Buy her a drink.

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