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  1. #1
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    Childhood injuries

    Reading the school memories thread about getting hit by cricket balls etc made me think of what childhood injuries did you suffer? Kids were tough in them thar days aye.....

    I recall when I was about 11 years old walking along the narrow top rail of a tall wooden fence (fcuk knows why). I lost my balance and fell sideways, hitting said top rail with all my body weight onto one kidney. I then fell to the ground unable to breath and thinking that I was about to die. Amazingly, that kidney still works, although an internal but recovered injury was later discovered...
    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    Reading the school memories thread about getting hit by cricket balls etc made me think of what childhood injuries did you suffer? Kids were tough in them thar days aye.....

    I recall when I was about 11 years old walking along the narrow top rail of a tall wooden fence (fcuk knows why). I lost my balance and fell sideways, hitting said top rail with all my body weight onto one kidney. I then fell to the ground unable to breath and thinking that I was about to die. Amazingly, that kidney still works, although an internal but recovered injury was later discovered...
    Playing hide and seek and I jumped out of a tree when I got caught only to land on the sharp end of a tree that had just been cut down. The scar is still there on the back of my thigh.

    Light stuff compared to a friend who was in goal when the crossbar collapsed, fell on his head and broke his nose (how unlucky can you be? ) or another lad (as I mentioned on that thread) who ripped his ballbag open having jumped into a load of privits.

  3. #3
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    The days when we were all made of rubber!

    Endless BMX accidents.
    Broken leg when some fat girl fell on me.
    Revealing my shin bone after diving through a hedge scrumping.
    Getting a wrinkled finger after 3 hours of probing in the corner of the school disco.

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    oh so many, from an early was involved in a group called the chicken club, many stupid things done surprised I'm still alive.

    Broken noses
    2 jaw broken
    broken leg 2twice
    fractured wrist
    broken ribs
    many sprained ankles.
    many stitches
    fractured cheek bone
    tendons cut

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    The days when we were all made of rubber!

    Endless BMX accidents.
    Broken leg when some fat girl fell on me.
    Revealing my shin bone after diving through a hedge scrumping.
    Getting a wrinkled finger after 3 hours of probing in the corner of the school disco.
    was the hole in the wall big by the time you finished?

  6. #6
    SMILEY VIRUS
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    One sadistic priest broke a cane over in front of the entire class and apologised making me a hero for the day, usual whacks from rugby , cauliflour nose, playground brawls ,cuts and bruises in and out of casualty for stitches, the endless slipper, canings, rubber kneeler was real tawse was for all not just me for things as stupid as no cap and I had a 90 minute journey to school. The great benefit was it gave me a lifelong understanding of power dynamics, a distrust of authority and a revulsion against all forms of religion, order and unnecessary adherence to anachromistic codes of discipline.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    I did the BMX jump thing. Landed balls first onto the bike. Put my hand down my pants to see if everything was still there and there was blood everywhere. Terrifying.

  8. #8
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    oh so many, from an early was involved in a group called the chicken club, many stupid things done surprised I'm still alive.

    Broken noses
    2 jaw broken
    broken leg 2twice
    fractured wrist
    broken ribs
    many sprained ankles.
    many stitches
    fractured cheek bone
    tendons cut
    That's what happens at Everton v Liverpool derbys

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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    it gave me a lifelong understanding of power dynamics, a distrust of authority and a revulsion against all forms of religion, order and unnecessary adherence to anachronistic codes of discipline.
    And resultant alcoholism. Now I understand.


    1)...I was once holding a lit skyrocket (as you do) when the treacherous thing decided to take off while it was still in my hand, spewing its plume into my palm for the few seconds it took for my teenage brain to register the pain, and what was happening.. Got a badly burnt palm, but astonishingly it healed with no scar visible at all !

    2).... Using a small electric chainsaw for the first time ever and getting cocky and confident, I used it in one hand whilst holding the piece of wood in the other. Hands were wide apart but I stopped the chainsaw while it was still in the wood. As it slowed, of course it stopped cutting and tractored itself into my other hand before stopping.
    Not as bad a scar as Loy Toy's scar from the angle grinder with large-toothed saw blade though

  10. #10
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Ah the good old firework fight injuries.
    Luckily I sustained none .

    Slightly off topic but a trick at that time of the year was to get a freshly layed cow pat from the farmers field then place it on some newspaper.
    Then set the newspaper alight on the step of some old fogie similar to Cyrille.
    Then ring the door bell and hide.
    The Cyrille would answer the door, then proceed to stamp out the flames in horror, then shut the door and trapes the cow shit and ashes back through their house over their magnolia axminster carpet and as they sat in their armchair...they sniffed a perturbed nosel and realised they'd been had over
    Shalom

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    And resultant alcoholism. Now I understand.


    1)...I was once holding a lit skyrocket (as you do) when the treacherous thing decided to take off while it was still in my hand, spewing its plume into my palm for the few seconds it took for my teenage brain to register the pain, and what was happening.. Got a badly burnt palm, but astonishingly it healed with no scar visible at all !

    2).... Using a small electric chainsaw for the first time ever and getting cocky and confident, I used it in one hand whilst holding the piece of wood in the other. Hands were wide apart but I stopped the chainsaw while it was still in the wood. As it slowed, of course it stopped cutting and tractored itself into my other hand before stopping.
    Not as bad a scar as Loy Toy's scar from the angle grinder with large-toothed saw blade though
    Now I recall a teenage accident where I was using a power drill on a piece of wood that I supported in my lap. The power drill slipped and powered into my groin area, twisting my jeans tightly around the drill as it went. I saw blood oozing out, but was unable to untangle the drill bit, so had no idea if I had just drilled into my wedding tackle! It took about 5 minutes to remove the drill and inspect the damage...

    Lucky for me, it was only a little prick


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    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Falling off bicycles which had a crossbar. Enough said...?

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    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VocalNeal View Post
    Falling off bicycles which had a crossbar. Enough said...?
    Or braking too hard on a Raleigh Chopper ouch!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    That's what happens at Everton v Liverpool derbys
    Nah more likely Liverpool V Man utd, I'd say Man city, but not sure they have any fans.

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    Anyone used to have Roman candle duels?

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    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    [Insert Over Long List of Breaks, Stitches, Bumps & Bruises Here...]

  17. #17
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    In the early '70s a school friend and I discovered that we could buy all sorts of chemicals from a company here and just say they were for a school project, so we made some explosives.

    He threw one down at the local creek, and it exploded just as it left his hand. And though he was not actually injured, it was so close that we both agreed to never do that again. And he reckoened that his eyesight was never quite 100% after that.

    Later on, he became a pillar of the community, but I fell by the wayside

    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Broken leg when some fat girl fell on me.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by VocalNeal View Post
    Falling off bicycles which had a crossbar. Enough said...?
    I will always remember when I was quite a young lad, my mum having a hushed chat with one of the neighbors, who was recounting how a lad up the street has fallen off his bike and ripped off his p.e.n.i.s in the brake block.

    She thought spelling the word would keep me in the dark.....

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    Anyone used to have Roman candle duels?
    Guilty! Used to use old air raid shelters as camps and have 'wars' between school classes. Old javelins broken in half and used as mortars with lit bangers dropped into them. Roman Candles were hand held and fired at each other. The small rockets you used to get in the 'Standard' Fireworks set were stuck in the mud at low angles as well. The winner lit the catherine wheel in the opposing air raid shelter. There were injuries but nothing serious that I can recall.

  20. #20
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    ^ ye the only injury we ever had with fireworks was when you held the banger in your hand for as long as you could before it exploded.

    I had one explode in my hand nasty mess it made.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Ah the good old firework fight injuries.
    Luckily I sustained none .

    Slightly off topic but a trick at that time of the year was to get a freshly layed cow pat from the farmers field then place it on some newspaper.
    Then set the newspaper alight on the step of some old fogie similar to Cyrille.
    Then ring the door bell and hide.
    The Cyrille would answer the door, then proceed to stamp out the flames in horror, then shut the door and trapes the cow shit and ashes back through their house over their magnolia axminster carpet and as they sat in their armchair...they sniffed a perturbed nosel and realised they'd been had over
    "Budding" windows too and running away when the owner came to the door.

    Oh, garden hopping as well. Now that was fucking dangerous, but I managed to survive with only a few minor cuts and bruises.

  22. #22
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    ^ we used to call it the Grand national

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    We had a potato fight in one of the fields on the way to school when i was about 10 or 11. The farmer chased us off his land and we scrambled under the barbed wire fence to get away. Anyway, I was found guilty at assembly of being one of those involved due to the barbed wire having scraped my scalp and my hair being covered in blood. Guilty as charged! Another 6-of-the-best. At one time I held the record for the most canings at my school but it got beaten long before I left...

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    ^ ye the only injury we ever had with fireworks was when you held the banger in your hand for as long as you could before it exploded.

    I had one explode in my hand nasty mess it made.
    What ? You didn't work around that ? Sheesh ! I used to do that down the local creek before Boy Scouts on a Friday night, whilst having a mouthful of aniseed gobstoppers. We would let the bunger burn right down and at the last half second, hurl them deep into the water.

    The way to do it without maiming is to hold the bunger at the very bottom, with the tips of two fingers. Except if you did it with the very biggest, or threepenny bunger, it would scare the living crap out of you if you waited too long, and leave your ear ringing.

  25. #25
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    we had to hold them, like real lunatics

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