Thread: School memories

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Nervous as fuck in trials for the school football team, knowing the other lads had been the best players at their primary school too.

The humblebrag

Originally Posted by Reg Dingle

The humblebrag

To be fair, I was fucking good until I had a bit of a big summer on the chips and gravy and curries. I was like Jan Molby when I got back and never played again after the third year. Fat little twat I was.

There are many.

One of my earliest at primary school was being forced to dance with girls, i cannot remember but think it was square dancing. If any of the boys threw a paddy they ended up getting forced to dance with the lady teacher. 8-9 years later and you'd jump at the chance of grabbing a girls arse in a dance, it was the girls running away then.

EDIT

In secondary school a punishment for boys was to get forced to take part in drama school plays. It happened to me quite a bit but actually you quite often got to do parts with some of the hottest girls in school. My class mates used to take this piss but didn't know you could get in a clinch with someone way out of their league.

Originally Posted by malmomike77

There are many.

One of my earliest at primary school was being forced to dance with girls, i cannot remember but think it was square dancing. If any of the boys threw a paddy they ended up getting forced to dance with the lady teacher. 8-9 years later and you'd jump at the chance of grabbing a girls arse in a dance, it was the girls running away then.

EDIT

In secondary school a punishment for boys was to get forced to take part in drama school plays. It happened to me quite a bit but actually you quite often got to do parts with some of the hottest girls in school. My class mates used to take this piss but didn't know you could get in a clinch with someone way out of their league.

You'll have black and white photos of these events too, won't you?

^ affirmative

It was pre decimal

I remember breaking my toe playing basketball during PE and being shipped up to the hospital.

I was lying there complaining about the pain and the curtain to the bed next to me was pulled back and there was another dude from my school on the cot next to me.

He asked what had happened so I explained in detail and described the severe pain I was in.

Asked him what he was in for and he calmly replied that he'd been kicked square in the plums and one of his testicles had split.

I shut the fuck up.

So building up a mental picture here

Hal would be your Pogo Patterson and Mickey your already balding potential sex pest gym teacher.



I was always easily led at school, got caned, rulered and slippered then belted at home. Didn't do me any harm

I played for the school footy team once as a goal hanging striker in a 18 nil battering. They never picked me again, although I didn't really understand the offside rule and had 2 left feet.

In my secondary school years, after moving to a different town, I was invited by some of my new classmates to leave the school premises after eating our lunch and pop across the road to the pub for a drink. We were all wearing school uniforms.

"Half a pint of pale ale, please."

"That'll be 12p."

We went to another pub in the town too and got served there but I thought the pub across the road from the school would have twigged we were still at school and certainly not 18 years old.

^ 1971?

I used to look forward to getting my free school milk, loved that.

Originally Posted by malmomike77

I used to look forward to getting my free school milk, loved that.

I can still smell that milk.

Originally Posted by armstrong

I can still smell that milk.

it was usually warm by the time we got to drink it.

I recall our Geography teacher Mr Davis, yes he was welsh. He sat me and a chap Phillip right at the front because we had the attention span of goldfish and he could stare us into working. He used to do his thing on the blackboard and then tell us to get on with whatever he was teaching, corries, cwns and cirques or whatever and the sit down and lean his chair back against the wall pivoting on the back legs with his feet upon his desk and staring down his nose through his glasses.

Anyway, one particular day this sequence of events was followed and everyone was head down and working when there was a yelp followed by an almighty crash and everyone looked up to see only his feet in the air bicycling away. Next the whole blackboard came crashing down on top of him, it was one of those side by side sliding blackboards. Everyone was just stunned silent in shock. The finale was two panes of glass from the cupboards that surrounded the room containing variously books and samples also decided they would join the party and fell out and shattered. Mr Davis took a while to extricate himself, no one moved but the first thing he uttered was mine and Phillips names, bellowed them out and accused us of having moved his desk. He as kind of OK but sustained a cut on his cheek and smashed glasses.

We both got marched to the head of years office and ended up with a full week of detention the following week. I suspect an enquiry was held and it transpired it was the cleaners who had for once moved all the furniture around to properly hoover. Me and Phillip did the detention, got a note sent home, i got the belt from me dad and neither of us got an apology.

All that aside he was one of my favourite teachers.

Private primary school. No drama.
Private secondary school . No drama.

Sorry.

Originally Posted by VocalNeal

No drama.

Wong thread VN, it isn't the "what dramas did you have at school" thread, are you sure those private schools taught you to read correctly?

Originally Posted by armstrong

They created a 'C Team' because there was enough of us keen (but shit) to play football. We played 1 game all year. (Against the B Team).

.

Ha ha. We had the same. All the fat kids trying to kick a ball 2 yards without falling over.

Was Dil your captain?

Originally Posted by Neverna

In my secondary school years, after moving to a different town, I was invited by some of my new classmates to leave the school premises after eating our lunch and pop across the road to the pub for a drink. We were all wearing school uniforms.

"Half a pint of pale ale, please."

"That'll be 12p."

We went to another pub in the town too and got served there but I thought the pub across the road from the school would have twigged we were still at school and certainly not 18 years old.

12p for half a pint! Kiinell, nev!

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

Asked him what he was in for and he calmly replied that he'd been kicked square in the plums and one of his testicles had split.

We used to play football outside the priest's house cos his gates were perfect goals and they were surrounded by privits.

One night my mate scored the winning goal and climbed up onto one of the posts before jumping off into the privits. You can guess the rest....

Originally Posted by malmomike77

it was usually warm by the time we got to drink it.

I recall our Geography teacher Mr Davis, yes he was welsh. He sat me and a chap Phillip right at the front because we had the attention span of goldfish and he could stare us into working. He used to do his thing on the blackboard and then tell us to get on with whatever he was teaching, corries, cwns and cirques or whatever and the sit down and lean his chair back against the wall pivoting on the back legs with his feet upon his desk and staring down his nose through his glasses.

Anyway, one particular day this sequence of events was followed and everyone was head down and working when there was a yelp followed by an almighty crash and everyone looked up to see only his feet in the air bicycling away. Next the whole blackboard came crashing down on top of him, it was one of those side by side sliding blackboards. Everyone was just stunned silent in shock. The finale was two panes of glass from the cupboards that surrounded the room containing variously books and samples also decided they would join the party and fell out and shattered. Mr Davis took a while to extricate himself, no one moved but the first thing he uttered was mine and Phillips names, bellowed them out and accused us of having moved his desk. He as kind of OK but sustained a cut on his cheek and smashed glasses.

We both got marched to the head of years office and ended up with a full week of detention the following week. I suspect an enquiry was held and it transpired it was the cleaners who had for once moved all the furniture around to properly hoover. Me and Phillip did the detention, got a note sent home, i got the belt from me dad and neither of us got an apology.

All that aside he was one of my favourite teachers.

Brilliant.

We had a teacher who was hunchback so he was always sat kind of skewed from his desk, almost looking underneath when he spoke, but the first table were the swots who also happened to be the sexiest girls in school with some of the shortest skirts and the biggest tits. My god they were fit.

He knew. We knew. They knew.

Everyone went home happy.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

12p for half a pint! Kiinell, nev!

Luckily I had enough pocket-money to pay for it.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

We used to play football outside the priest's house cos his gates were perfect goals and they were surrounded by privits.

One night my mate scored the winning goal and climbed up onto one of the posts before jumping off into the privits. You can guess the rest....

First year at secondary school and we were playing football in the playground at lunch time. The goal was in front of a 10ft high wire fence but one of the lads still managed to kick the ball over the fence. Unfortunately, on the other side of the fence was a house and the ball went through the kitchen window. Double unfortunately, there was an old man doing the washing up at the time. He came out of the house and spoke to us, with blood pouring down his face, all cut up by the broken glass. Fair play to the old guy, he didn't get angry at all, he just said it was one of those things. Those were the days.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

We used to play football outside the priest's house cos his gates were perfect goals and they were surrounded by privits.

One night my mate scored the winning goal and climbed up onto one of the posts before jumping off into the privits. You can guess the rest....

We used to play in the graveyard using the stones as posts...

Originally Posted by Neverna

Luckily I had enough pocket-money to pay for it.


First year at secondary school and we were playing football in the playground at lunch time. The goal was in front of a 10ft high wire fence but one of the lads still managed to kick the ball over the fence. Unfortunately, on the other side of the fence was a house and the ball went through the kitchen window. Double unfortunately, there was an old man doing the washing up at the time. He came out of the house and spoke to us, with blood pouring down his face, all cut up by the broken glass. Fair play to the old guy, he didn't get angry at all, he just said it was one of those things. Those were the days.

Ouch...

...We were playing cricket on the old school fields in the summer with my mate bowling at me - he couldn't bat to save his life, but he could bowl very fast and had put a few school windows through behind me - and I've come out of my crease and hit him for 6! I hit him on the up on the sweet spot of my bat.

This shot was once in a lifetime and probably the best shot I've ever played - even to this day I think of it, I had creamed him - but it was sailing for the church windows behind the fence, and it inevitably went right through the first glazed window and another commandment was shattered.

The nuns and priest thought less of it than I did , but what a shot it was, nev. I'm typing this and can still see it as it left my bat.

In the 70's we used to live in a place and up the road was a chap who used to grow prized Dahlias. As lads we were always playing footie and used to play a game where you kicked the ball off his roof and the idea was to get it over the top or to get it to bounce back clearing his fenced in garden which contained his dahlias.

The ball frequently landed in this garden and the offender had to retrieve it which was OK when he wasn't at home. When he caught us and or the ball he used to give us a hell of bollocking and he was a burly fireman so he has scary. He eventually got fed up and started puncturing balls. Cant blame him, we were really annoying little shits.