Thread: I never married a western woman - what did I miss?

Originally Posted by CCTVGuy

He's Gen 'F'.

Yes, Generation fabulous

Originally Posted by sabang

Does she fart in your general direction?

She was lying on her side facing away with her bottom sticking out pointedly and pointing towards me, so definitely in my very general and specific direction.

My scheming brain is now wondering if she had rumbled that I was actually secretly awake while she was perusing her personal porn and was flicking through her pics knowingly to tease me.

Having realised that I was surreptitiously pretending to be asleep she has then redoubled her wind-up by pretending to be asleep in return, while unleashing her feminine flatulence (knowing that it would puzzle and perturb me given that it is common medical knowledge that people cannot fart in their sleep).

It is either that or else Japanese ladies really can, uniquely among women, fart in their sleep.

You get weirder every week.

I never married a western woman - what did I miss?

A very expensive divorce settlement. Bill Gates will confirm.

Originally Posted by Looper

It is either that or else Japanese ladies really can, uniquely among women, fart in their sleep.

Why on earth would you think that women cannot fart in their sleep?

He usually has his telescope up there.

Originally Posted by nidhogg

Why on earth would you think that women cannot fart in their sleep?

It was covered in one of his online lectures

Strigils is on the money here I'm afraid Nids

I finished lecture 66 of the 72 lecture course today so I am on the home straight and my graduation ceremony is booked in.

You simply can no longer argue with the logic of evolution with the weight of evidence before us.

The reason ladies cannot fart while they are asleep is that there is a 1.8% chance that any given fart could actually be a shart so the body has evolved safeguards against untoward embarrassing accidents that could endanger the strength of pair-bonding and risk loss of resource investment in offspring through the departure of a disgusted male partner.

That is the reason ladies often do a massive fart first thing in the morning when they wake up.

If you beg to differ then please take it up with Professor Stephen Nowicki from Duke University.

Originally Posted by Looper

Strigils is on the money here I'm afraid Nids

Whingy Mcflounce is a human trash bag.

^^he should stick to birds of the feathered kind as he clearly knows shit about women.

Originally Posted by Looper

given that it is common medical knowledge that people cannot fart in their sleep).

Your missus looks hot in those knee-length boot pics you post up sometimes Chitty.

I think the fish sauce flatulence is a fair and reasonable price to be paying for those lush legs.

Originally Posted by Joe 90

You can gladly spend the night with my missus Loops to quash that theory, I fear you will need to open the windows to let the God awful wretched smells out.

If she's not farting Nam Pla out then she's sweating it out.

A few times I've nearly been sick with the smell.

The noise also is so annoying that one has to sleep with ear plugs in.

She farts, sweats and snores like a....Trooper/Thai woman.

In fact can you take her for a week?

Good Lord. All very classy I'm sure.

Originally Posted by Looper

Professor Stephen Nowicki from Duke University.

Him ?

Originally Posted by Looper

The reason ladies cannot fart while they are asleep is that there is a 1.8% chance that any given fart could actually be a shart so the body has evolved safeguards against untoward embarrassing accidents that could endanger the strength of pair-bonding and risk loss of resource investment in offspring through the departure of a disgusted male partner.

Interesting concepts, the curve-ball to this train of thought of course is the dreaded queff.

Block the source......

Originally Posted by Joe 90

You can gladly spend the night with my missus Loops to quash that theory, I fear you will need to open the windows to let the God awful wretched smells out.

If she's not farting Nam Pla out then she's sweating it out.

A few times I've nearly been sick with the smell.

The noise also is so annoying that one has to sleep with ear plugs in.

She farts, sweats and snores like a....Trooper/Thai woman.

In fact can you take her for a week?

Actually, a well known trait among Asian women.....

I can recall my first every serious girlfriend in the UK - about all I can remember now is
- Massive tits, tiny waist
- Completely psychotic
- I Couldn't drive more than 20 miles without her blowing me
- Had weaponized her snatch
- Farted in her sleep

Never heard her fart any other time. I guess she could have woken up, not moved, kept her eyes closed, farted, gone back to sleep....

...but if she had, I am pretty sure she'd have complained about me jerking off and cumming on her legs while she was sleeping.

I think it is an excellent Face saver for an oriental woman to fart while asleep. Plausible deniability.

Best not to contemplate what odours might be lurking about hl's place.