20 minutes to live.

**Edmond** · 29-01-2021, 08:34 AM

2 minutes. F40

2 minutes. F50

2 minutes. LaFerrari.

17 minutes. The 4 members of Blackpink wearing nothing but stockings and slathered in warm oil.

with a magnum of Gout de Diamants to slug on.

3 minutes. Basic math lessons.

Die happy.

**tomcat** · 29-01-2021, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by Edmond

Die happy.

...or die shocked by God's misunderstanding...

**Pragmatic** · 29-01-2021, 08:50 AM

I'd go tell all my mates that I'm dying from HIV. That should stop them trying it on with my missus when I've gone. Oh yeah, delete my porn stash.

**AntRobertson** · 29-01-2021, 09:00 AM

15 min with the wife and kids / messages to loved ones.

5 min attempting to smash down every bottle of wine I have... Fuck it, won't be any hangover to worry about.

Best part is that order is easily reversible.

**David48atTD** · 29-01-2021, 09:03 AM

Originally Posted by Edmond

20 minutes.

Humm ...

Re-visiting the Teak Door and watching the best of fishlocker's music clips and random machinery shots

**Edmond** · 29-01-2021, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by Pragmatic

delete my porn stash.

**Bogon** · 29-01-2021, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by Pragmatic

Oh yeah, delete my porn stash.

Best read the title. It says you only have 20 minutes.

How fast is your PC?

**BoganInParasite** · 29-01-2021, 09:32 AM

Last bonk with the Thai missus and 18 minutes of skulling first class champagne. Sadly, browser history would reveal nothing more than how bored and boring I can get and be.

**baldrick** · 29-01-2021, 10:49 AM

counting the screws in joes bag

20 minutes

**jabir** · 30-01-2021, 06:45 PM

**strigils** · 30-01-2021, 07:04 PM

9 mins to get up into orbit,

1 min to pull off the suit whilst taking in the view

1 min 45 Sec of zero G procreation

and then as much damage as i can do to a range of drinks being fired at me from squeezy bottles whilst also getting a teabagging from nude ladies of various nationalities holding said squeezy bottles and hopefully seeing the sun pop out from behind the earth.

**nidhogg** · 30-01-2021, 07:09 PM

Probably spend 19 minutes working out whether this merits dropping off the wagon, and the last minute trying to find some booze.....

**Neverna** · 30-01-2021, 07:10 PM

^^ I had to look up teabagging. I don't think my Liptons International Blend for breakfast will ever be the same now.

20 minutes to live? A nice cup of tea with some ginger nuts to dunk in it, sitting comfortably and listening to Pink Floyd.

**deeks** · 30-01-2021, 07:17 PM

Steal a car>

**Saint Willy** · 30-01-2021, 09:03 PM

Yeah, you've never been to the Summer Nats, probably havent even been to an Aussie speedway.

**Simon43** · 31-01-2021, 05:31 AM

Has anyone had a near-death experience, where it seems likely that you're going to die?

About 30 years ago, I was flying between Madrid and Tarbes in a small prop plane. Over the Pyrenees mountains we hit a very bad storm. There were about 12 people in the plane, which was bucking up and down like some rodeo horse. I was sitting at the rear of the plane and the only Brit on board. The other passengers were screaming, crying and praying.

I decided that there was nothing that I could do to alleviate the situation, and opened a bottle of gin...

When we finally landed at the small Tarbes airport, (on the 3rd attempt), some of the passengers kissed the tarmac.

I muttered 'fcuking foreigners' or similar under my breath and headed for the bar......

**jabir** · 31-01-2021, 10:28 AM

I met god once, thought I was dead but I wasn't.

**happynz** · 31-01-2021, 11:02 AM

I'd sit quietly and breathe. I'd hope the final breath is a good one.

**Headworx** · 31-01-2021, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by Simon43

Has anyone had a near-death experience, where it seems likely that you're going to die?

Quite a few to be honest, should have really been gone several times over starting long ago involving cars, boats, helicopters, pharmaceuticals of questionable legality, motorcycles, wildlife encounters, doing ridiculously dangerous shit at work in Oilfields around the world before (and after) HSE existed, and so on. Just one example was nodding in and out of sleep depraved conciousness in the front passenger seat of a Lsndcruiser doing about 140 kph as it was veering across a 4 lane Highway in the Middle East and grabbing the wheel from the driver who'd fallen asleep. If I don't open my eyes and react immediately at that very moment to stop us going over a 2m drop into the desert, we're both 100% dead.

Experienced what it's like to die too, to cut a long story short I was given a cocktail of prescription medications that definitely shouldn't have be mixed while at work in Saudi and felt dizzy before getting myself to a sitting position up against a container on the ground, fighting like hell to try and get up and yell for help but couldn't do either, then everything went grey and a loud noise like the sound of a wave crashing overcame me as I passed out completely and felt myself crash to the ground. Came to an unknown time later, but probably shouldn't have according to the company internal investigation.

**AntRobertson** · 31-01-2021, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by Paleo Robbie

I would go and visit Ant Robinson

Who's that?

Fluke would spend 19m59s on posting lies about meeting and the remaining 1s starting a post to try to justify those lies.

**dirk diggler** · 31-01-2021, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by strigils

whilst also getting a teabagging from nude ladies

Ladies...?

**tomcat** · 31-01-2021, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by dirk diggler

Ladies...?

...yes, that's what I was wondering...an unexpected slip, perhaps...

**strigils** · 31-01-2021, 12:57 PM

Originally Posted by tomcat

an unexpected slip,

Nope, no clothes

Originally Posted by dirk diggler

Ladies...?

well blokes if you swing that way, its your 20 minutes.

**armstrong** · 31-01-2021, 02:36 PM

I'm not sure you understand the concept of a teabagging

**PlanK** · 31-01-2021, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by Edmond

20 minutes to live.

So you'd steal some cars, have un-consensual sex whilst slugging back some borrowed alcohol.

Is that how you want your family (and the world) to remember you?

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