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  1. #1
    Chinese spy
    sabang's Avatar
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    Florida Man thread

    Until a certain real estate huckster and his escort recently moved there, I was not aware of this "Florida Man" meme. Quite hilarious.

    Here's one hot off the Press, to kick things off-


    Naked Florida man arrested after stealing marked police vehicle and crashing it




    A naked man in Florida has been arrested after allegedly stealing a marked police car and crashing it into a wooded area.
    Officials from the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office in Florida told the Associated Press that Joshua Shenker, 22, was arrested on Thursday after police responded to reports of a naked man running along Interstate 10 shortly before noon.
    When officers responded, Mr Shenker was seen lying naked in the road before he then ran across the highway lanes towards the police, the department claimed on Thursday.
    Authorities confirmed that Mr Shenker stole a vehicle belonging to the City of Jacksonville, while First Coast News footage showed that it was a marked police car. The department did not reveal how the vehicle was stolen.



    The police report revealed that around $10,000 (7,309) worth of damage was done to the vehicle that Mr Shenker crashed into a wooded area next to the highway.
    Mr Shenker was taken to a local hospital as a precaution on Thursday, and the department noted that he was suffering from road rash after lying naked on the highway.
    Ellis Burns, the assistant chief at the sheriff’s office, told WJXT that officers suspected that Mr Shenker was “possibly intoxicated or high” as they told him that the 22-year-old appeared to be in a state of “excited delirium”.
    The assistant chief added that Mr Shenker was “fighting officers. He had no clothes on, he’s able to run to the car and fight one of our officers.”
    The 22-year-old was charged with theft of a motor vehicle, depriving an officer of means of communication or protection, aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, and resisting an officer without violence.
    Mr Shenker is being held on a $4,011 (£2,931) bail. Jacksonville prison records do not list an attorney for him.


    Naked Florida man arrested after stealing marked police vehicle and crashing it (msn.com)


    What a Guy.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    Buckaroo Banzai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sabang View Post
    officers suspected that Mr Shenker was “possibly intoxicated or high”
    You think?

    I hate to be him when he sobers up .

  3. #3
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    Florida Man?
    Please make sure that the thread is not about the famous "Florida Man". Some could be confused...

  4. #4
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    isn't there already a Florida man thread?

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Excommunicated baldrick's Avatar
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    and a subreddit

    Florida Man!

  7. #7
    In Uranus
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    This threads a day late and a dollar short.

  8. #8
    Chinese spy
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    All Florida Man feats and stunts should be combined in the one thread! Otherwise it gets confusing. Florida Man is a cultural icon of our times, just like "People of Walmart".


    Florida Man even has his own Wiki you know-

    Florida Man - Wikipedia


    And his own website-

    Florida Man | Worst Super Hero Ever.


    Even his own Adult(?) coloring book, which you can buy on Amazon.





    Go Florida Man!!

  9. #9
    Excommunicated baldrick's Avatar
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    one of our members is from florida

    starts with L - got a place in khon kaen and travels the world staying at luxury hotels and posting pics of them for us to envy

  10. #10
    Chinese spy
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    Florida Man is not Everyman- he is the World's worst Superhero. Being from Florida alone does not qualify you as Florida Man, any more than buying a Batman cape makes you Batman- you have to perform amazing stunts to qualify.


    The Novel-



    Florida Man - Kindle edition by Baron, Mike. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

  11. #11
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    Florida Man Smashes 20 Cars, Says 'I Did It Because Donald Trump Owes Me One Trillion Dollars'


    A homeless man in Florida went on a car vandalism spree Monday, smashing at least 20 vehicles before getting tired and falling asleep on a nearby bench. When questioned by authorities, he said it happened because President Donald Trump "owes me one trillion dollars."

    The Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office in a press release identified the man as 30-year-old Justin James Wilson, and said he damaged at least 20 cars or more that were parked at the Holiday Inn Resort on Okaloosa Island.

    The sheriff's office stated Wilson faces 14 counts of felony criminal mischief and six counts of misdemeanor criminal mischief for an estimated $30,000 in damages to at least 20 cars.

    When deputies located Wilson nearby, he confessed to the officers and said, "Take me to jail. I did it because Donald Trump owes me one trillion dollars and these vehicles belong to the mafia."


    The sheriff's office interviewed witnesses, who claimed they saw Wilson smash and damage cars by using rocks and belt buckles to beat the cars and smash windows.

    This report comes just four days after another Florida man vandalized and stole from a church in South Florida. Police in Doral are searching for a man caught on camera breaking into the Lady of Guadalupe Church and causing about $800 damage going through several offering boxes, according to WSVN in Miami. Police said the man took approximately $500 from the boxes.

    And in Pasco County during February this year, a 60-year-old man reportedly got frustrated when he could not find his own car in a parking lot, so he vandalized 16 other vehicles. However, the bulk of Albert F. Megnath's damage was breaking, bending and removing windshield wipers from 16 cars, according to Patch.com.

    Sheriff deputies said Megnath was argumentative and uncooperative when they confronted him. He was arrested and charged with criminal mischief and trespassing.

    Only six of those vehicle owners reported damage to their vehicles, according to the report.

    And not to be outdone, a month earlier, 20-year-old Ryan Stump of Jensen Beach, Florida hopped onto a police patrol car and stomped onto the roof and hood as he filmed it and later posted online, according to thenewswheel.com.

    Florida Man Smashes 20 Cars, Says 'I Did It Because Donald Trump Owes Me One Trillion Dollars'



  12. #12
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Florida Man is very, very dumb.

    Police detectives in Tampa Bay said they have arrested a suspect in a 14-year-old rape case after using the database of a genealogy testing website to match DNA evidence.

    "The victim now can have some closure in her life," assistant Tampa police chief Ruben Delgado said.

    According to police reports, the rape took place in 2007 when a University of Tampa student was walking back to her dorm after attending the popular Gasparilla Pirate Festival.


    The victim told detectives she was intoxicated and may have been stumbling around when the suspect, Jared Vaughn, offered to walk her to her dorm where he proceeded to rape her.


    DNA evidence was collected at the time but did not find any matches, and the case remained unsolved for more than a decade. In 2020, however, detectives revisited the case and began to search genealogy testing databases, including GEDmatch and FamilyTree, two services often used by people who are researching their ancestry, to find potential matches.


    A lab identified Vaughn, now 44, as the possible suspect, so police officers traveled to West Virginia, where he now lives, to conduct another DNA, which brought a one-in-700-billion match.


    "It has taken 14 years for resolution in this case, but it's something that was important to us and was important to the victim, to get some closure in this case," Delgado said, according to
    Fox 13.


    "That was the whole idea about this squad, to kind of take these cases that haven't been unsolved, kind of reenergize them."


    Florida was the first state to establish its own forensic genealogy unit in 2018. Similar units have since been created in California and Utah to solve cold cases.


    Special Agent Mark Brutnell of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement urged people to allow their DNA to be accessed by law enforcement.


    He said: "
    Our success depends on info found in public genealogy databases, where participants – and this is important – must opt-in for law enforcement matches."
    Florida: Man on Rape Charges, Entered Own DNA Into Genealogy Database

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat Saint Willy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda View Post
    where participants – and this is important – must opt-in for law enforcement matches


  14. #14
    Thailand Expat Saint Willy's Avatar
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    Florida man washes ashore after trying to ‘walk’ to New York in bubble device

    Florida Man thread-screenshot-2021-07-27-8-44-a


    A Florida resident washes ashore after trying to ‘walk’ to New York in bubble device. Photograph: Flagler County Sheriff's Office


    Reza Baluchi told the coast guard he was headed 1,000 miles north in a running wheel contraption but ended up 30 miles south.

    Florida man startled beachgoers when he washed ashore inside a hybrid bubble-running wheel device.

    The man, identified by a local news channel as Reza Baluchi, washed ashore in Flagler county on the east coast of Florida on Saturday.

    He was inside a large barrel-type device which appeared to have flotation buoys attached to each end. The Flagler county sheriff’s office posted photos of the strange vessel on Facebook.

    “The occupant advised he left the St Augustine area yesterday to head to New York,” the sheriff’s office said, “but came across some complications that brought him back to shore”.

    “The US coast guard was contacted and arrived on scene to take over the case and ensure the vessel/occupant are USCG compliant for their safety moving forward.”
    Fox 35 Orlando reported that Baluchi’s aim was to “run” to the northern US or Bermuda. Baluchi instead ended up 30 miles south of his St Augustine start point.
    “My goal is to not only raise money for homeless people, raise money for the coast guard, raise money for the police department, raise money for the fire department,” he told the TV channel. “They are in public service, they do it for safety and they help other people.”



    Baluchi’s aim was to “run” to the northern US or Bermuda. Photograph: Flagler County Sheriff's Office
    He added: “I will show people anything you want to do, do it. Don’t listen to anyone. Chase your dreams.”

    The
    Sun-Sentinel reported that Baluchi was forced to turn back after he discovered that some of his safety and navigation equipment had been stolen. The equipment has been recovered, and Baluchi plans to resume his journey once the weather improves, the newspaper said.


    A
    on Baluchi’s YouTube channel, posted in September 2020, outlined a plan to travel to Bermuda in the bubble vessel. It was unclear if that voyage took place.


    According to
    Baluchi’s website, he was preparing for a similar voyage in April 2016.

    At that time, according to his website, Baluchi planned to set off near Miami and travel north along the coast before veering east towards the Bermuda Triangle. On the way back he planned to stop in Puerto Rico, Haiti, Cuba and Key West.
    Baluchi planned to survive “on protein bars, tuna, sea water purified through a filter, Gatorade and chewing gum for sea sickness”, his website said.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...-bubble-device




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  16. #16
    En route
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    The heat and humidity sends some people troppo.

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