Reddit has this brilliant sub group called r/AmItheArsehole?
Posters post a story asking the question?
Judegments can be;
YTA - You're the Arsehole
NTA - Not the Arsehole
ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
NAH - No Arseholes Here
INFO - More Info needed.
Here's an example.
AITA for reporting a co-worker for accidental nudity which led to her being fired?
Let me start out by saying I work with a small team and I'm very much the "outcast." They are all young and legitimately when we aren't talking work some of the things they talk about with their personal lives I have to google half the time. The crew isn't "mean" to me but they are definitely a click with me being the old man outsider.
I'll admit sometimes I put my foot in my mouth with phrases... for instance I used the phrase "open the kimono" and "Sarah" got super upset about it she's Japanese. I tried to explain it's not a big deal and just a lingo thing but she wouldn't listen. She reported me then I had to go to a special training and apologize on record. That was back in like April.
So, boom. Fast forward to last month. Normally we have morning check-ins every morning at 8:30am and Sarah is snacking on breakfast at that time. We had to move our morning check-in meeting to 8am one Wednesday and then it happened about 15 minutes into the meeting. "Sarah's" wife comes in wearing a small top and just underwear handing her food coming into the shot at the side of the frame it couldn't have been anymore than a few seconds. But, she apologized profusely after we all went like "uhhhhhhhh Sarah? Your camera." The crew all were like "we know it wasn't intentional, it's ok, no managers are here, at least she wasn't fully naked." Laughing. And, I just stayed quiet. I told my wife about it and how I felt weird about it because I definitely think it shouldn't have happened. It made me feel uncomfortable. I know I wasn't "assaulted" but I didn't want to see her half naked.
I reported it to HR. Told them what happened. She completely denied it happened and the crew backed her up trying to make it seem like I was trying to retaliate for the "open the kimono" thing. My only saving grace was that they used work chat to talk about it and HR was able to look at the logs and see I wasn't lying. The crew got a reprimand and they ended up firing "Sarah." Because not only did she say it didn't happen she wanted me to do another formal apology made it a big deal.
Now, the crew is extremely snippy with me(even though I'm on a new team now but work with them closely) and I can tell they think I didn't need to report her. Even on her last day "Sarah" called me and told me that she hopes I feel good about what I did and that I was an asshole to report it when it wasn't that big of a deal and no one cared.
So... AITA?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jvy9e0/aita_for_reporting_a_coworker_for_accidental/
My take, ESH.
He is the arsehole for upsetting the Japanese girl and no tapologising until he was forced to.
But she is the arsehole for reporting him in the first place, and then again for lying and doubling down on the naked thing and desrves the karma.