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  1. #76
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    OMG! I'm so sad to hear this news. RIP, Wally.

  2. #77
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    I did go back and re-read the wally thread. Sad and sombre reading. Then went and did some reading on depression and suicide. From what he posted it seems he had nearly every predisposing characteristic towards depressive suicide. Childhood trauma, substance abuse, emotional loss, isolation, lonliness, money concerns, prior attempts at suicide or planning it. He did post a few times that he was getting professional help from a shrink, but clearly even that level of support was not enough.

    It is just difficult to understand that level of dispair.
    I've had two people I know take their own lives.

    One had lost everything in Kuwait in '91, built himself back up and then got cleaned out by his new Filipina wife. He seemed very stoical about it and told everyone he was going on vacation to cheer himself up, but then never went. The night he was supposed to go to the airport, he took his company car to a remote spot and put a hose on the exhaust.

    The other one was an alcoholic nurse who was ever the drama queen and always threatening to do something without ever following through. I suppose you could say "cried wolf" too often.

    She stole some insulin from the hospital, put on her best dress and jimmy choo's, laid on her sofa and overdosed.

    In both cases, they were not cries for help, there was no coming back.

    No-one expected either. It's a great shame because you know you would have helped at the drop of a hat. It's why mental health professionals tell you to keep in contact with people if communication drops, even that might be enough to get someone to open up and get help. The problem is that people in this situation rarely open up to people. It's one thing posting on a forum, but no matter how much you reveal, it simply isn't personal if you know what I mean.

    Although Wally said he was getting help, it sounds to me like either 1. He didn't really reveal the extent of his troubles, or 2. that help wasn't very good, or 3. it wouldn't have made any difference anyway.

    It is a tragic shame.

  3. #78
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda View Post
    and always threatening to do something without ever following through. I suppose you could say "cried wolf" too often.
    I read somewhere that threatening suicide should never be treated as a fake cry for attention.

  4. #79
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    I read somewhere that threatening suicide should never be treated as a fake cry for attention.
    I would tend to agree with you, but you can't expect people to get the same level of worry when it's the 20th time. Human nature.

    The ex-boyfriend that she was texting had heard it all before. He knew she was drunk. She usually dozed off after a while and then complained about her hangover the next day. So he didn't actually worry about it until he never heard from her in the morning. That's when he raised the alarm.

  5. #80
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    ...didn't help him much though...
    No it didn't and never does. Posting here or any other like social media was part of the ritual. Matt had already made up his mind to take his life. No one here was going to talk him down. Sadly he appeared to have no companion to convince him to seek professional help.

    Sadly the world is full of lost souls suffering from depression. Loss of hope, emotional distress, unable to see another way to relieve the pain other than ending their own life.

    RIP Matt.
    Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

  6. #81
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    got to disagree, Norton, if he did make his mind, he wouldn't have posted about his condition here on TD, even if it was a bit of attention whoring, it was definitely a cry for help

  7. #82
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norton View Post
    Matt had already made up his mind to take his life.
    ...if that is true, I wonder why he chose to post his miseries here...did he actually expect posters to offer treatment alternatives that he hadn't already tried? It was, after all, up to him to seek professional help and appropriate medication and continue with a treatment until he could regain some balance. Rather, he chose a path that apparently made sense to him.
    Majestically enthroned amid the vulgar herd

  8. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    ...if that is true, I wonder why he chose to post his miseries here...did he actually expect posters to offer treatment alternatives that he hadn't already tried? It was, after all, up to him to seek professional help and appropriate medication and continue with a treatment until he could regain some balance. Rather, he chose a path that apparently made sense to him.
    The folly of life is on full display on TD. So I sorta understand why he posted here. Some people do post like they take it seriously. Which is even funnier than the ppl who don't.

  9. #84
    Thailand Expat lom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    ..if that is true, I wonder why he chose to post his miseries here...
    To give old friends an explanation to why he was going to take his life and to give a last goodbye.
    The meeting with his old girlfriend was also to say a last goodbye to her.

    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    did he actually expect posters to offer treatment alternatives that he hadn't already tried?
    No, the advice's he was given here were of no use for him, he had already given up and made his decision.
    I think most users here could see at an early stage how it was going to end, it is not like he hid that he was going to take his life.
    May the bridges I burn light my way

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  10. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    ...if that is true, I wonder why he chose to post his miseries here...did he actually expect posters to offer treatment alternatives that he hadn't already tried? It was, after all, up to him to seek professional help and appropriate medication and continue with a treatment until he could regain some balance. Rather, he chose a path that apparently made sense to him.
    One wonders at what point will people comprehend the not entirely insignificant fact that most suicides occur while the balance of the mind is disturbed. It is by definition not a rational decision and is in reality a manifestation of mental illness.

  11. #86
    Thailand Expat Latindancer's Avatar
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    ^Yeah...I tried to point that out to him.

  12. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
    got to disagree, Norton, if he did make his mind, he wouldn't have posted about his condition here on TD, even if it was a bit of attention whoring, it was definitely a cry for help
    True.

    I don't think you have to be mentally ill to commit suicide. I know of a close friend who a year ago hung himself in his garage. He wasn't mentally ill, but was in some physical pain and was too proud to go to the doctor about it, so he suffered in silence and felt like he'd be less of a burden on his family by committing suicide. He did leave his wife, kids and grandkids in a lot of pain. They had no idea he was so sick except for his wife, who urged him to see a doctor and get help, yet never did. A week prior to taking his life, he was out for supper with us acting like he was fine..not hint of what he was about to do.

    People all have their own reasons for taking the easier way out of life. Wally was fighting some serious demons and couldn't get away from it. He was depressed when he posted on his thread, but he knew what he was saying and wanted to get help (seeing a therapist and posting on here). Nothing could help his condition as we have found it. What a pity!

  13. #88
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    I’m sorry that Wally decided to end his own life. Two points come to mind regarding this death.

    This is not the appropriate medium to seek any kind of professional or quality advice. No one can be sure if his original post was, a cry for help, or and advance suicide note, to explain his decision.

    The paucity and quality of advice becomes irrelevant now anyway. Either way, Wally did post on here, and was given opinions, rather than professional quality advice. On rare occasions, a person with such devastating mental frailty can be helpred by close personal friends who understand the sufferer and his problem.
    That clearly does not apply here.

    A very sad loss none the less.

  14. #89
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarilynMonroe View Post
    I know of a close friend who a year ago hung himself in his garage. He wasn't mentally ill
    Uh Huh.

    They had no idea he was so sick except for his wife, who urged him to see a doctor and get help
    Uh Huh.


  15. #90
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    Sorry to hear this. End of his torment, Peace now..

  16. #91
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    I wonder why he chose to post his miseries here...did he actually expect posters to offer treatment alternatives that he hadn't already tried? It was, after all, up to him to seek professional help and appropriate medication and continue with a treatment until he could regain some balance. Rather, he chose a path that apparently made sense to him.
    I firmly believe he used TD to post his final goodbye. His suicide note so to speak. Just maybe not enough members contributed to make his burden lighter and talk him out of what was obviously a cry for help?'
    It's all in the past now and we should move on. 'Thread closed' as another forum would state.

  17. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic View Post
    Just maybe not enough members contributed to make his burden lighter and talk him out of what was obviously a cry for help?'
    Many tried, but unless our members are professional doctors on the subject, I doubt it would have helped.

    I felt he'd already made his decision the first time he mentioned suicide.

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