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  1. #1
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    Sound Advice, Please!

    I've got a huge problem.

    In the past, I've always had the opportunity to work in environments where there were gender specfic toilets.

    If my bowel movement was a bit orchastrial, it wasn't a problem. It was the men's bathroom and such was expected.

    Now, I'm working in a "coworking space" where the workspace is quite small and the bathroom walls as as thin as Chico's cooking skills.

    It's well known how polite Filipinos are, but after today's colon trumpetting I'm worried I might be asked to leave.

    Advice please!
    "I was a good student. I comprehend very well, OK, better than I think almost anybody," - President Trump comparing his legal knowledge to a Federal judge.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    Toilet paper... Scrunch it; hold; acts as a muffler.

    Job jobbed.

  3. #3
    I'm in Jail

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    Play the tuba at lunchtime outside and then when you play it in the trap they won't think you are covering up your duet.

  4. #4
    The Dentist English Noodles's Avatar
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    Christ, I just sat down with my feed....

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Practice makes perfect. Learn the opening bars of Beethoven's 5th Symphony and your colleagues will marvel at your talent.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by AntRobertson View Post
    Toilet paper... Scrunch it; hold; acts as a muffler.
    You know the spray shield put in front of microphones? Would you want to hold the shield in your hand?

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    Well you asked for advice, if that's your issue you need a doctor not someone experienced in the subtle arts of muffling poos.

  8. #8
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    Eat healthy food.

    Or go find a toilet outside, or have your shit before you go to work.

    you dirty bastard.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    Eeesh. Change your bathroom habits to making poos at home.

    If caught out, have waterfall noises in your cellphone to play loudly. And use poopurri.

  10. #10
    I'm in Jail

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    ^ that is why we need more ladies here. Thanks MK.

  11. #11
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    What you need is an electronic , dynamic sound dampening device, attached to your butt. .
    It records all sounds emanating from the proverbial bodily artifice we all have one ,and some of us are. and plays them back at an opposite frequency , thus cancelling each other out.
    It can also be programmed to spray a whiff of potpourri so that not only are you stealthy , but you come out smelling like roses.
    Genius simply Genius!!! I know what you are thinking " Why didn't I think of this?
    Well don't even think about it bucko, I thought about it first. Patent Pending!!

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckaroo Banzai View Post
    What you need is an electronic , dynamic sound dampening device, attached to your butt. .
    It records all sounds emanating from the proverbial bodily artifice we all have one ,and some of us are. and plays them back at an opposite frequency , thus cancelling each other out.
    It can also be programmed to spray a whiff of potpourri so that not only are you stealthy , but you come out smelling like roses.
    Genius simply Genius!!! I know what you are thinking " Why didn't I think of this?
    Well don't even think about it bucko, I thought about it first. Patent Pending!!

    we have a winner

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    Eat healthy food.

    Or go find a toilet outside, or have your shit before you go to work.

    you dirty bastard.
    why would he want to stink up his own home? Never!

  14. #14
    The Dentist English Noodles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    why would he want to stink up his own home? Never!
    Does using your home toilet 'stink up' your home? You should get some ventilation sorted.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by English Noodles View Post
    Does using your home toilet 'stink up' your home? You should get some ventilation sorted.

    I also hate the shit streaks on the bowl

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    I also hate the shit streaks on the bowl
    Try eating more fiber.

  17. #17
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    Male hippopotamuses fling their poop by spinning tails around to impress females and to mark their territory. ...

    Be proud of your bodily functions

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    I also hate the shit streaks on the bowl
    Jeez you must of grew up in squalor.A grown up man that hasn't worked out yet how to have a dump,astounding the low life scum you meet on forums.

  19. #19
    ความรู้ลึกลับ HuangLao's Avatar
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    Expecting the usual shitfest?
    Class thread.
    Bowel movements and sounds emanating.

    Has legs.

    Well done.


  20. #20
    Your local I.Q. Monitor
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    Charcoal tablets?

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuangLao View Post
    Well done.
    Jeff don't even think about scat.

  22. #22
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    Fit an anus grommet and wear a nappy.


  23. #23
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    Jeez you must of grew up in squalor.A grown up man that hasn't worked out yet how to have a dump,astounding the low life scum you meet on forums.
    on the contrary my house is perfectly clean, I use public toilets for crapping

    and it’s must have, not must of

  24. #24
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    and plays them back at an opposite frequency
    Phase, not frequency


    @Fondles, wow, those anus grommets look amazing. Mine don't have the hole in the middle...

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post


    @Fondles, wow, those anus grommets look amazing. Mine don't have the hole in the middle...
    With the right texured turd its looks like chocolate soft serve icecream in the bowl.

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