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  1. #1
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    The Three Famous Lies

    While writing a friend today I refered to a neighbor believing in one of the three famous lies.

    I could only remember two of them so I naturally googled the subject. Turns out it's more like 3 thousand plus lies.

    We've all probably told one or more of them from time to time. One of my favorites is "I'll bring back the change"


    Some of them we all know and experience:





    "I love you."
    "The check is in the mail."
    "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.”



    "This is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you"

    "Trust me"

    "I love you”



    "It's not you, it's me.”


    "I can quit anytime"

    "You're the best I've ever had"

    "I love the gift”


    "This message board is down temporarily while we perform routine maintenance.”


    "Of COURSE I'll warn you when I'm about to cum, honey…”


    'Let me be honest with you.’


    "No Honey - I don't think that dress makes you look fat.”


    "I didn't mean it!"

    "I'll return/repay it right away."

    "Truth in advertising.”


    "Honey, that has never happened to me before."

    "I'm breaking up with you, but I still want us to be friends.”


    "It's only a cold sore.”


    "I'll respect you in the morning.”


    "I would never lie to you."

    "No, there's never been anyone as good as you.”


    "I'm just happy to be here and help out the team any way I can."

    "I love my job”


    "I only had two drinks at the bar.”

    "I had no idea that I was speeding”


    "I'll bring you back the change.”


    "It isn't about the money, it's the principle of the thing."

    "It was like that when I bought it."

    "That's a great idea, boss."

    "I only use my internet connection at work for business purposes.”


    "I'll call you…definitely!”


    "The cable man will be there between 9 to noon."

    "The taxi will be there in less than 30 minutes.”


    "No dear, she's not prettier than you..."





    "I love you."
    "The check is in the mail."
    "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.”



    "This is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you"

    "Trust me"

    "I love you”



    "It's not you, it's me.”


    "I can quit anytime"

    "You're the best I've ever had"

    "I love the gift”


    "This message board is down temporarily while we perform routine maintenance.”


    "Of COURSE I'll warn you when I'm about to cum, honey…”


    'Let me be honest with you.’


    "No Honey - I don't think that dress makes you look fat.”


    "I didn't mean it!"

    "I'll return/repay it right away."

    "Truth in advertising.”


    "Honey, that has never happened to me before."

    "I'm breaking up with you, but I still want us to be friends.”


    "It's only a cold sore.”


    "I'll respect you in the morning.”


    "I would never lie to you."

    "No, there's never been anyone as good as you.”


    "I'm just happy to be here and help out the team any way I can."

    "I love my job”


    "I only had two drinks at the bar.”

    "I had no idea that I was speeding”


    "I'll bring you back the change.”


    "It isn't about the money, it's the principle of the thing."

    "It was like that when I bought it."

    "That's a great idea, boss."

    "I only use my internet connection at work for business purposes.”


    "I'll call you…definitely!”


    "The cable man will be there between 9 to noon."

    "The taxi will be there in less than 30 minutes.”


    "No dear, she's not prettier than you..."



  2. #2
    Pedantic bastard
    nidhogg's Avatar
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    Fixed for readability

    Quote Originally Posted by cisco999 View Post





    "I love you."
    "The check is in the mail."
    "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.”



    "This is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you"

    "Trust me"

    "I love you”



    "It's not you, it's me.”


    "I can quit anytime"

    "You're the best I've ever had"

    "I love the gift”


    "This message board is down temporarily while we perform routine maintenance.”


    "Of COURSE I'll warn you when I'm about to cum, honey…”


    'Let me be honest with you.’


    "No Honey - I don't think that dress makes you look fat.”


    "I didn't mean it!"

    "I'll return/repay it right away."

    "Truth in advertising.”


    "Honey, that has never happened to me before."

    "I'm breaking up with you, but I still want us to be friends.”


    "It's only a cold sore.”


    "I'll respect you in the morning.”


    "I would never lie to you."

    "No, there's never been anyone as good as you.”


    "I'm just happy to be here and help out the team any way I can."

    "I love my job”


    "I only had two drinks at the bar.”

    "I had no idea that I was speeding”


    "I'll bring you back the change.”


    "It isn't about the money, it's the principle of the thing."

    "It was like that when I bought it."

    "That's a great idea, boss."

    "I only use my internet connection at work for business purposes.”


    "I'll call you…definitely!”


    "The cable man will be there between 9 to noon."

    "The taxi will be there in less than 30 minutes.”


    "No dear, she's not prettier than you..."








    Can't see the two famous ones,
    I will not come in your mouth
    I will just put the tip in
    Last edited by nidhogg; 24-05-2020 at 12:44 PM. Reason: remove dupe

  3. #3
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    I slipped in the shower

    I was hacked

    minty is not my multinick

  4. #4
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    BoganInParasite's Avatar
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    Doctor only uses the forceps to guide baby's head.

  5. #5
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    ^ I knew an ER nurse who told me that that was always the explanation when someone came in with a shampoo bottle stuck in their ass!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    Can't see the two famous ones,
    I will not come in your mouth
    I will just put the tip in

    As Lebowski said "They're in there somewhere, better have another look".

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoganInParasite View Post
    Doctor only uses the forceps to guide baby's head.
    Good one. Original to me.

  8. #8
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    From personal experience, well, the first wife and my experience with our daughter born in 1986. This is what the nurse told me when it was decided to intervene. I swear if he could have the doctor would have put his leg on the end of the delivery table for extra leverage. No wonder some babies are born bruised.
    Quote Originally Posted by cisco999 View Post
    Good one. Original to me.

  9. #9
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    Just thought of another one...'He has our full support and backing.'

    Often said by spokepersons for governments, company boards or selection panels when the going gets tough for a minister, CEO or sportsperson, etc.

    Of course this is invariably followed by their sacking the following week often portrayed/disguised as a resignation to 'pursue other interests' and/or 'spend more time with my family'.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoganInParasite View Post
    From personal experience, well, the first wife and my experience with our daughter born in 1986. This is what the nurse told me when it was decided to intervene. I swear if he could have the doctor would have put his leg on the end of the delivery table for extra leverage. No wonder some babies are born bruised.
    When my daughter was born, also 1986, it was a long, slow process and in the end the doctor did have one foot up on the bedstead whilst heaving on the forceps. She came out with a dent on each side of her head. She turned out fine. Very smart girl and now a mother herself.

  11. #11
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    I have an acquaintance who DIDN'T turn out ok.....the right side of his body didn't develop properly. Nor his mind.

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