Thread: Australia Day 26th (or Invasion Day - take your pick)

Read this in the Sydney Morning Herald:, some are quite true others lame

You know you're Australian if:

• You know the meaning of the word "girt".
• You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
• You understand that, should an Australian prime minister attempt to invent a nickname for himself, the nation would respond by choosing its own moniker, somewhat less flattering.
• You believe the best-looking people in the world are those wearing the uniform of the Rural Fire Service, or its equivalent in other states.
• Returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
• You make a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering a lawn.
• You are alive to the debate over Australia Day, but accept the public holiday without question.
• You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife
• You understand that tough times create strong, resilient, loving communities but would now like a break from the constant fire, flood, drought and hail.
• You believe that any DIY purchase must be accompanied by a sausage in a bun.
• You were taught on your grandparents’ knee that “all the banks are bastards” and now have the proof.
• You believe the best tourist attractions are housed within giant fibreglass prawns, bananas and sheep.
• You bitterly criticise the media for its constant and intrusive stories about the British royal family, then find yourself reading every word about Harry and Meghan.
• You believe the most patriotic way to vote at election time is while wearing a swimming costume.
• You know the British feel superior to us - but find yourself increasingly perplexed as to why.
• You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
• You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".
• You wonder when it was, exactly, that Australia’s politicians lost their sense of shame.
• You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
• You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
• You are welcoming of foreign visitors - but can’t wait to tell them about the Drop Bears.
• You are staunch in your defence of Australian-owned enterprises but can’t resist buying truckloads of imported crap.
• You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is merely "a bit of a bastard".
• You wonder why, given the amount of cash thrown around at election time, none of it ever hits you.
• When you hear that an American "roots for his team", you wonder how often and with whom.
• You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
• You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
• Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway food in every Asian language.
• You believe that cooked-down axle-grease makes a good breakfast spread.
• You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they revert to being Kiwis.
• Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
• You know that certain vulgar words must, by law, be shouted during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
• You believe that the more you shorten someone's name, the more you like them.
• You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem, then have trouble remembering the second.
• When you retire, your aim is to enjoy some “lifestyle” - an Australian word which roughly translates as “chardonnay”.
• You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
• You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".
• You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
• You know that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".
• You’re proud of your country, but understand it can do a whole lot better.
• You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
• You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand www.richardglover.com.au

Some 'true blue' stuff:




Many would say the real national anthem . . . yes, yes. Everyone knows what it's about

.You like watching sports with men in short shorts
.You like chucking shrimps on barbecues
. You have a fondness for piss weak beer
. You forget your forefathers were a bunch of bread thieves and you are really a Pom
.You can smell burnt koala bears

I especially like this one.

"You believe that cooked-down axle-grease makes a good breakfast spread."

I don't know if non Aussies would understand it though.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

. You forget your forefathers were a bunch of bread thieves and you are really a Pom

an old cliché that pertains to a single-digit percentage of the population . . . not a drop of POM in me, luckily

Originally Posted by Dillinger

.You like chucking shrimps on barbecues

Prawns, mate . . . and it's the barbie

Some great memories PH you have there.

Australia is a great place to live.

Sydney, I've never lived there, but always enjoyed my visits.

No 2020 lamb ad ... so we'll have to go with the 'The Australian Lamb Ad 2017 Gods of the World eating Lamb at the dinner table'



A bit forced that one.

---

My favorite recent one ...

Originally Posted by David48atTD

My favorite recent one ...

Yup, pretty nice.

I like the older ones, Kekovic:

should be the national anthem

If you can understand this Poem...

Good OP's, PH

Just to balance out the red blooded Sam above.

... and now for something completely different.



Loved the woman and the cinematography in/of the clip.

Kieran John Callinan (born 21 January 1986), known by his stage name Kirin J. Callinan, is an Australian singer, songwriter, and guitarist. Best known for his solo career, he is also a founding member of Mercy Arms and has played with the Night Game and Jack Ladder and the Dreamlanders.

Wiki

Redded

Originally Posted by panama hat

and shit places like Melbourne

No comment.

And the official National Anthem - which isn't Waltzing Matilda

You know the British feel superior to us - but find yourself increasingly perplexed as to why.

We British have given the world culture, sport and the most essential inventions known to man.

You gave us Neighbours and Home and Away in return.

Hope that explains.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Hope that explains.

. Not sure about kultcha . . .

I wouldn't expect an Aussie to understand culture.

Btw, in response to your green, yes. I still remember being 14 and seeing Lucy's knickers in Neighbours when she got changed .

Originally Posted by Dillinger

You like chucking shrimps on barbecues

Couldn't count how many bbq's I've been to in Oz, hundreds if not 1000+. But I can count how many times I've seen shrimps on a barbeque, one. And that was a fuck-up in itself, raw prawns were covered with wet newspaper with some notion of steaming them which did happen and made them taste like wet newspaper. Prawns are either bought cooked and served chilled, or boiled and immediately dropped into an ice bath. Not put on a fucking BBQ!.

As for the fondness of piss weak beer, I'll never forget walking into my first ever pub in England and not only seeing Fosters on tap, but people actually drinking it!. That summed things up on the English beer front

I will also say that as far as Aussies are concerned (and NZ too), if they're in your company and having a drink, you're gonna get on well. Every time I've had a proper booze with them it's been great because the humour and lingo are the same.

Americans less so. It's hard work. Two countries separated by one language.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

I wouldn't expect an Aussie to understand culture.

Being an Aussie by choice means I have the best of both worlds!

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Btw, in response to your green, yes. I still remember being 14 and seeing Lucy's knickers in Neighbours when she got changed .

Knew it! Picked it like a dirty nose!!! Starved for Aussie kultcha, you are!!!

Originally Posted by Headworx

Prawns are either bought cooked and served chilled, or boiled and immediately dropped into an ice bath. Not put on a fucking BBQ!.

'kin oath

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Americans less so. It's hard work. Two countries separated by one language.

I think it's a case of taking oneself too seriously

Originally Posted by hallelujah

because the humour and lingo are the same.

Definitely very similar - taking the piss out of one's own is a cultural connection for sure. (One of the few things I admire about the Brits is their sense of humour! )

Originally Posted by Headworx

!.

As for the fondness of piss weak beer, I'll never forget walking into my first ever pub in England and not only seeing Fosters on tap, but people actually drinking it!. That summed things up on the English beer front

A (best) mate of mine used to order Fosters every time we were out. He then changed to Carling when that was common in the boozers. FFS.

The best thing about the beers in England is the ales, which are outstanding. Lager, err, not so much.

Originally Posted by panama hat

I think it's a case of taking oneself too seriously



Definitely very similar - taking the piss out of one's own is a cultural connection for sure. (One of the few things I admire about the Brits is their sense of humour! )

Yep. Yep. Had the same conversation with a couple of Aussie lads in Kanchanaburi many moons ago.

If you can't laugh at yourself then it's gonna be hard work...