Page 19 of 21 FirstFirst ... 91112131415161718192021 LastLast
Results 451 to 475 of 501
  1. #451
    Thailand Expat
    Reg Dingle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    4,228
    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    Then you usually get an optional chance at a more real life situation with blacked out goggles, no nose clip and an aisle seat. This one's my favourite.
    Finally, a real man.

    This is the guy you want sat next to you flying off the rig, he'd even leave you the window seat, so he could use you as a battering ram if it goes down

  2. #452
    Thailand Expat
    dirk diggler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Down South
    Posts
    8,440
    Aye, best take the window seat or you'll have a new first step of waking me up.

  3. #453
    Thailand Expat
    Mendip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:35 PM
    Location
    Korat
    Posts
    10,780
    FFS...

    I'll take criticism from Dirk because he's actually done this... but not from a bunch of armchair critics who probably only go underwater once in a Blue Moon when they fall asleep in the bath, half pissed while clutching their undersized manhoods.

    Dirk, I should maybe man-up a little bit on this. I hate the few days beforehand but when actually doing it, it's OK. The thought is much worse than the actuality.

    I first did HUET in 1991 when the course culminated with an underwater capsize in the dark when you may or may not have had an aisle seat. It was no fun having the guy in the window seat panic with arms and feet flailing all over the shop. To be honest it is easy these days... as the armchair Reg Dingle noted, there are divers either side of the 'helicopter' and an instructor is also inside, but it wasn't a heated pool. The water was bladdy freezing... almost as cold as our pool in Korat and I haven't been in that for a few weeks.

    Now, everyone has a window seat and so long as you don't panic, it is easy. I still don't like it though.

    We had 16 on the course; 3 Westerners the rest Thai. These included 5 red-helmets (non-swimmers) and a bladdy girl. My group went last, and I thought if a non-swimmer and a bladdy girl can do it, then I'll have no problem! One guy did have a problem and ended up taking in a lungful of water. The divers and instructor inside want you to pass and help as far as they think appropriate. You still have to do it yourself. In 1991 I remember we had an ex-special forces instructor who was obviously extremely competent but also very abrasive and he seemed to delight in getting the less able into a panic.

    The firefighting back then was also real... real fires in buildings and if you messed up you'd get burned. Now we put out a few fires and the smoke ain't real, it comes from dry ice or something. That's HSE for you and a shame because I always enjoyed the firefighting.

    The first aid is obviously also very useful in normal life, although I'll be buggered if I'd try to save some of the wankers commenting on this thread!

  4. #454
    Thailand Expat
    Reg Dingle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    4,228





    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    The firefighting back then was also real... real fires in buildings and if you messed up you'd get burned
    Is that why you blur your face in your pics. Do you look like Simon Weston?

  5. #455
    Thailand Expat
    Headworx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Jomtien
    Posts
    7,981
    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    Looks a piece of piss. Look how relaxed they all are
    Might as well have Beethoven playing in the background too seeing it's an advertising video, they're hardly going to show anyone shitting themselves or even showing anxiety are they

    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    Just how big are you? These 'small windows' look bigger than Mendy's plated dinners
    6'3, around 110kg, and with wide shoulders. They're not that big and they seem even smaller if some 5'5 60kg runt is half way out of one in front of you and not moving fast enough!

    Anyway's I'm never doing one again, if/when I ever do any more projects in the future they'll be onshore and I'll get to/from them via fixed wing and motor vehicle.
    Last edited by Headworx; 01-02-2023 at 04:08 PM.

  6. #456
    Thailand Expat
    Mendip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:35 PM
    Location
    Korat
    Posts
    10,780
    Quote Originally Posted by Headworx View Post

    6'3, around 110kg, and with wide shoulders.

    Anyway's I'm never doing one again,
    You probably wouldn't be able to do one again even if you wanted to... the courses will all be fully booked with these armchair tosspots wanting a bit of fun.

    I also have wide shoulders and wouldn't want to be sitting next to one of the small windows on a Super Puma. Shoulder width measurements are now part of the medical.

    But it's also irrelevant to me now... I'll never go on a helicopter again and would turn down a job if it was required. Another reason why it bugs me having to do the HUET every four years.

  7. #457
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Mai Arse
    Posts
    12,340
    Quote Originally Posted by Shutree View Post
    More fun than Alton Towers.
    Reminds me of the log flume at Drayton Manor.
    That was only £100 for a family ticket and we all got to go on as many times as we could be bothered queuing up for.

    A grand for one go seems a bit steep imho.
    I'd be wanting to do that all weekend for that money and get a T-shirt not a poxy certificate
    Shalom

  8. #458
    Thailand Expat
    Headworx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Jomtien
    Posts
    7,981
    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    The firefighting back then was also real... real fires in buildings and if you messed up you'd get burned.
    Yes I recall that, can't even remember where the first firefighting training I did was now (maybe Dubai or Muscat in the 80's) but do recall thinking this is fucking dangerous! Real fires going in an obstacle course though 2 x 40ft containers joined together, wearing blackout goggles, and using the back of our hands against the walls to see if they were hot and navigate our way out while crouching or on all 4's to get under the obstacles the whole way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    Shoulder width measurements are now part of the medical.
    Indeed, certainly part of the OGUK last time I did one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    You probably wouldn't be able to do one again even if you wanted to... the courses will all be fully booked with these armchair tosspots wanting a bit of fun.
    Yeah I'd like to see that. I believe (but do you know for sure?) that you need to have passed your medical before you can do your HUET and BOSIET these days. So they'd all be pretty safe you'd think

  9. #459
    Thailand Expat
    Reg Dingle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    4,228
    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Reminds me of the log flume at Drayton Manor.
    That was only £100 for a family ticket and we all got to go on as many times as we could be bothered queuing up for.
    Reminds me of the time I barrel rolled and barebacked 2 brass in a Penthouse suite jacuzzi, near Boystown
    Although that was a lot cheaper too and also no poxy certificate, just a receipt from the Red Cross STD clinic

  10. #460
    Thailand Expat
    dirk diggler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Down South
    Posts
    8,440
    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    But it's also irrelevant to me now... I'll never go on a helicopter again and would turn down a job if it was required. Another reason why it bugs me having to do the HUET every four years.
    That sucks if you never plan to get on a chopper again. Never know if you might need medivac'd though...

    I'm still pissed I have to do the Onshore training every 3 years. I don't know who's idea that was.

  11. #461
    Thailand Expat
    Headworx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Jomtien
    Posts
    7,981
    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    Never know if you might need medivac'd though...
    That was the reasoning we were given for having to be certified on jobs that were offshore, but no helicopters were being used. Didn't even have pads on the any of the boats at times! But seriously, if you were in such a bad way that a Medevac was required and the chopper taking you back to shore crashed into the ocean and turned upside down you'd probably just accept your time is up

  12. #462
    Thailand Expat
    Reg Dingle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    4,228
    ^ Not if you're a real man...like Diggler

  13. #463
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2021
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    11,389
    As my son would say…


    EZ!

  14. #464
    Thailand Expat
    dirk diggler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Down South
    Posts
    8,440
    Quote Originally Posted by Headworx View Post
    That was the reasoning we were given for having to be certified on jobs that were offshore, but no helicopters were being used. Didn't even have pads on the any of the boats at times! But seriously, if you were in such a bad way that a Medevac was required and the chopper taking you back to shore crashed into the ocean and turned upside down you'd probably just accept your time is up
    Correct, if it's bad enough for a medevac you're not gonna have much chance in an uncontrolled ditch. Unless you just need stitches, in which case the sharks will find you first.



    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    Not if you're a real man...like Diggler
    Random offshore pics-tumblr_pvoqwjrs9r1rrkahjo4_400-gif
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Random offshore pics-tumblr_pvoqwjrs9r1rrkahjo4_400-gif  

  15. #465
    Thailand Expat
    Mendip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:35 PM
    Location
    Korat
    Posts
    10,780
    Quote Originally Posted by Headworx View Post
    Yeah I'd like to see that. I believe (but do you know for sure?) that you need to have passed your medical before you can do your HUET and BOSIET these days. So they'd all be pretty safe you'd think
    Yes, a valid offshore medical was mandatory to do this course. As you say, that would preclude most of these wannabes.


    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    Although that was a lot cheaper too and also no poxy certificate, just a receipt from the Red Cross STD clinic
    Yeah, but the obvious difference is that my certificate is valid for four years. I dare say your receipt from the STD clinic was valid for 12 hours at most until you went at it again, you deviant landlubber.


    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    That sucks if you never plan to get on a chopper again. Never know if you might need medivac'd though...
    Yeah, that's the catch... or a family emergency at home. Pretty much all clients demand a HUET regardless of whether it's relevant and it just has to be done. The Norwegians are very good at getting you off a boat in an emergency... they brought a boat in for me once many years ago when my first daughter fell ill. Luckily the size of vessels I usually work on is small enough that they move sufficiently in the sea to prevent chopper crew changes... the helideck pitch limits for chopper landings are so strict now that we rarely meet the criteria, meaning an alongside crew change every time. I think we have to stream telemetry data from the helideck for 20 continuous minutes prior to the proposed chopper landing and it can't exceed 3 degrees pitch. That ain't a lot, thankfully.

    Anyway, I'm man enough to admit I don't like it... but I still do it. That's the mark of a real man. I just wish I was brave enough to drive a bus or walk into a school.

  16. #466
    Thailand Expat
    Shutree's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Last Online
    Today @ 06:41 PM
    Location
    One heartbeat away from eternity
    Posts
    4,658
    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    or walk into a school.
    If you die under water in an overturned helicopter, you die alone.

    A room full of combative teenagers would be death by a thousand posts on social media.

    I'd go for the helicopter. It is said that drowning is an easy way to go, athough how tf anyone knows has always been a mystery to me and I'm not in a rush to check it out.

  17. #467
    Thailand Expat
    Mendip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:35 PM
    Location
    Korat
    Posts
    10,780
    ^ Actually Shutree, I must admit that the thought of standing up in front of a class of school kids absolutely terrifies me!

  18. #468
    Thailand Expat
    Reg Dingle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    4,228
    Quote Originally Posted by Shutree View Post
    It is said that drowning is an easy way to go
    I heard that too.

    Apparently if your plane crashes into the ocean, rather than tread water and slowly die a far more painful death of hypothermia or being eaten by sharks, its a lot faster and less painful to just swim down as far as you can go until your lungs explode....
    Unless...
    You shake like a shithouse HW and scream like a schoolgirl Mendy at the thought of having your head dunked in a few feet of water

  19. #469
    Thailand Expat
    Mendip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:35 PM
    Location
    Korat
    Posts
    10,780
    ^ I prefer this place when you don't have a day off!

  20. #470
    Thailand Expat
    dirk diggler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Down South
    Posts
    8,440
    Choppers have rafts on the side so assuming the the aircraft doesn't pull it to the bottom and the rescue services can't find you, there's a good chance of hypothermia/heatstroke or cannibalism, if you're the weakest or most injured.

    But they should always find you as you have a tracking beacon thing on your jacket and another on the raft.

    I hear the trick is to refuse to get on the rescue chopper at all costs and hold out for a boat, for a larger payment and paid time off work due to your trauma, fear of flying and new found PTSD.

    I heard about one chopper that had to land on the water in a controlled ditch, no flip/roll, everyone exited safely and collected £70k for their troubles.
    Lang may yer lum reek...

  21. #471
    Thailand Expat
    Mendip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:35 PM
    Location
    Korat
    Posts
    10,780
    Maybe some people saw this in the news yesterday?

    Multiple injuries after ship tips over at Edinburgh dockyard

    Thirty-five people have been injured after a ship tipped over at an Edinburgh dockyard.

    NHS Lothian said 23 people had been treated in hospital and 12 people at the scene of the incident at Imperial Dock, Leith.

    A major incident was declared after the research vessel Petrel became dislodged from its holding on a dry dock.

    People have been asked not to attend A&E at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary (ERI) unless it is an emergency.

    Pictures posted on social media showed the 3,000-tonne vessel, which is owned by the US Navy, leaning at a 45-degree angle.

    The US Consulate in Edinburgh said it was monitoring the situation and offering support to US citizens who were involved.

    "We thank the emergency services for their prompt response. Our thoughts are with all those affected by this incident," it added.



    The Scottish Ambulance Service said it was called at 08:30.

    Five ambulances, an air ambulance, three trauma teams, a special operations team, three paramedic response units and a patient transport vehicle were sent to the scene.

    NHS Lothian said 15 patients were taken to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary by ambulance with another two attending themselves, four to Western General Hospital and two to Victoria Hospital in Kirkcaldy.

    Another 12 people were treated and discharged at the scene.

    A spokesperson for NHS Lothian said eight were still in the Royal Infirmary, some with "serious injuries", and outpatient appointments, endoscopies and planned surgeries had been cancelled to "free-up our surgical staff".

    Jacquie Campbell, chief officer of acute services at NHS Lothian, said: "There are no plans at this time to postpone appointments or elective procedures tomorrow, but assessments continue and patients will be contacted directly if the situation changes."





    Multiple injuries after ship tips over at Edinburgh dockyard - BBC News


    I know the Petrel well.

    She started life as the M/V Seaway Petrel, then with a company name change became the M/V Acergy Petrel and then with a 'merger' between Acergy and Subsea 7 she became the M/V Seven Petrel. That merger destroyed a once enjoyable company to work for, and my last involvement with the Petrel was around 2014/15 when I went elsewhere for work.

    Subsea 7 cold-stacked the Petrel after the big turndown in oil and gas in 2015 and Paul Allen, the Microsoft co-founder bought her to use as a research ship. He 'discovered' several famous shipwrecks including the USS Indianapolis... mind it's not difficult to 'discover' shipwrecks with fairly reliable positions when you have unlimited finances and don't have to operate a vessel to make a profit. Anyone can do it with the money... just buy in the expertise.

    I believe that the Petrel is now owned by the US Navy.

    Anyway, I spent many months of my life between around 2010 and 2014 on the M/V Acergy Petrel carrying out ROV surveys of the seabed and pipelines.



    She is a small vessel and had the same core crew for several years... strong friendships can form during regular rotas over several years. I always enjoyed my trips on the Petrel and have fond memories of a Turkish cook who used to make hot chocolate croissants for breakfast.



    After one project in Brazil I stayed aboard for the voyage back to Europe to finish up reports, during which we crossed the Equator. The voyage was Rio to Stavanger (I seem to remember) with a stop off at Las Palmas in the Canaries to bunker up with duty free fuel.

    Here was the ship's navigation computer as we crossed the Equator... 0 degress North.



    Of course the first time you cross the Equator, or Cross the Line, is a big deal in the maritime world and any neophytes have to pay their respectes to King Neptune and his henchmen.



    They have all sorts of tortures waiting for any candidates to make sure you are worthy of Crossing the Line.



    And here's yours truly getting swabbed with gunk. In the past this would have been engine oil but thankfully things are toned down these days. And of course with modern HSE there can be absolutely no alcohol involved... or maybe exceptions could be made with no client onboard and a decent offshore manager...



    Another batch of successful candidates!



    And my certificate which I can show whenever I Cross the Line and therefore avoid any tortures. My initiation name is Just Sparrow!


  22. #472
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Mai Arse
    Posts
    12,340
    I heard Dill got a job on board, stepped one foot on board and that was that.

  23. #473
    Thailand Expat
    Reg Dingle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    4,228
    ^ That was Snubby boarding. Too fat to fit on a plane...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    Pictures posted on social media showed the 3,000-tonne vessel, which is owned by the US Navy, leaning at a 45-degree angle.

    The US Consulate in Edinburgh said it was monitoring the situation and offering support to US citizens who were involved.

  24. #474
    5 4 Knoll
    david44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    At Large
    Posts
    21,090
    A list . or in dry dock ?

  25. #475
    Thailand Expat
    Bonecollector's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Last Online
    Today @ 09:52 PM
    Location
    Thailand
    Posts
    2,161
    That was a great bit of history and story, thanks for sharing Mendy

Page 19 of 21 FirstFirst ... 91112131415161718192021 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •