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  1. #1
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    How to become an ex-expat

    Silly fucker pissing about with some whore he picked up in the York or somewhere.

    They're right in the shit.

    A British salesman has been arrested after he threatened and assaulted a policeman and resisted arrest in Dubai, according to a local report.


    The 42-year-old was arrested at 3.30am with a 29-year-old Vietnamese woman on Bank Street in Bur Dubai on March 22.

    The couple were spotted causing a commotion on the street and harassing passersby, according to the 31-year-old policeman who stopped them.


    According to The National, the salesman said: 'I am British, look what will happen to you Ė you donít know who I am.
    'One phone call, and you will see what would happen. Dubai Police is in my pocket.'

    The couple refused to leave and continued shouting at the policeman.


    The woman then punched one of the officers in the face and hit him with her handbag while the salesman kicked the other officer.

    Eventually the police officers had to call for backup to help them arrest the couple and take them to the police station.


    The couple have said they can't remember what happened and were under the influence when the arrests took place, according to Dubai Public Prosecution.


    Both of them have been charged with assaulting a police officer and illegally drinking alcohol.

    The British man has also been charged with threatening a police officer but denies illegally drinking alcohol without a licence.


    The trial has been postponed to October 1 so that a translator for the Vietnamese woman can be used at the Dubai Court of First Instance.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7469347/Im-British-happens-Salesman-tries-threaten-police-officer-Dubai.html

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    Dubai, a shithole for shit expats

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Upon reading the title I was going to say the world you are looking for is repatriation, but no, the only suitable phrase is dead fuckers.

  4. #4
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    Alcohol - the drug to use when you want to be enstupidified.

  5. #5
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    I currently thinking of whether to change my name or not when getting Thai citizenship. I could have two identities until 2029, when my UK passport expires.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChalkyDee View Post
    I currently thinking of whether to change my name or not when getting Thai citizenship. I could have two identities until 2029, when my UK passport expires.
    You think you can get Thai Citizenship, you must be joking, i was informed by someone in the know its easier to win the lottery

  7. #7
    ความรู้ลึกลับ HuangLao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by petercallen View Post
    You think you can get Thai Citizenship, you must be joking, i was informed by someone in the know its easier to win the lottery
    Never bothered to keep up with Chalky's story, huh?

    As he's almost [if not already] completed the task.

  8. #8
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    I'd rather buy Cambodian citizenship than go through all that.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuRY1skaH4M

    we are all figments of our own imagination.

  9. #9
    ความรู้ลึกลับ HuangLao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainNemo View Post
    I'd rather buy Cambodian citizenship than go through all that.

    Lao might be a better choice in so many ways.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChalkyDee View Post
    I currently thinking of whether to change my name or not when getting Thai citizenship. I could have two identities until 2029, when my UK passport expires.
    A mate of ours had to take a Muslim name when he took his Indonesian bride.

    He chose Saddam Hussein.

    Which was fucking funny considering he was a scouser.

  11. #11
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    One identity, what makes you say that?

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by petercallen View Post
    You think you can get Thai Citizenship, you must be joking, i was informed by someone in the know its easier to win the lottery
    Someone in the know lol - who was it?

    I know 5 guys that got citizenship this year, so your guy in the know is an arse.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainNemo View Post
    I'd rather buy Cambodian citizenship than go through all that.
    Pretty easy really and only 5,000 baht.
    Fair enough if you prefer Cambodia.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda View Post
    A mate of ours had to take a Muslim name when he took his Indonesian bride.

    He chose Saddam Hussein.

    Which was fucking funny considering he was a scouser.
    Why is that funny being a scouser?

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChalkyDee View Post
    Why is that funny being a scouser?
    Eh Eh caaaalm down caaaaalm down.

  16. #16
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChalkyDee View Post
    Pretty easy really and only 5,000 baht.
    Fair enough if you prefer Cambodia.
    5,000 baht for what? The 3-5 years of various visas and visa run costs and lawyers fees and Thai language exams and whatever else? I bet it costs more than that really.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuRY1skaH4M

    we are all figments of our own imagination.

  17. #17
    ความรู้ลึกลับ HuangLao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainNemo View Post
    5,000 baht for what? The 3-5 years of various visas and visa run costs and lawyers fees and Thai language exams and whatever else? I bet it costs more than that really.
    Don't know where he came up with this 5K [all inclusive?]
    Perhaps, he's noted this cost reference to a single procedure item, one in a series of bureaucratic processing.

    Over a few years time, the staggered cost must be astounding.

    Outta curiosity, and when the processed is completed, I might hope that Chalky genuinely itemizes/records everything and provides us with a final tally, as such to total costs.

  18. #18
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuangLao View Post
    Don't know where he came up with this 5K [all inclusive?]
    Perhaps, he's noted this cost reference to a single procedure item, one in a series of bureaucratic processing.

    Over a few years time, the staggered cost must be astounding.

    Outta curiosity, and when the processed is completed, I might hope that Chalky genuinely itemizes/records everything and provides us with a final tally, as such to total costs.
    I want to see the one where he tries to resume his British citizenship, after being forced to promise in writing to give it up. I mean, the UK government says you can, but, it used to sound a lot more like a formality, but some changes make it sound less so...

    Resume your British nationality

    In some cases it’s possible to resume your British nationality after renouncing it.
    Read the guidance to check if you can apply.
    https://www.gov.uk/renounce-british-...sh-nationality

    You now have a load of "good character" stuff to worry about, which is thanks to terrorism, and in the opinion of many, thanks to New Labour and it's ethnic engineering experiment.
    https://assets.publishing.service.go.../Guide_RS1.pdf

    This has ruined a benefit of UK citizenship, that used to be easy-going, now it's all very touchy, and all set up to deprive you of your birthright for all kinds of dubious reasons, and of course "in the name of equality and diversity", being indigenous counts for nothing.
    It's focking disgusting actually, and the visceral hatred that used to be directed at the Tories is now for the Labour party, the LibDems, sjws and remainiacs, they really have focking ruined the world.

    You an apply... you can as a native born ethnically autochthonous English person, ask permission of a first-generation African or Asian immigrant for permission to resume your homeland citizenship, and when you land at Heathrow, you'll be faced with immigration staff who are similarly foreign. Idiots saying "oh they're as British as you or I", well if they were, you wouldn't feel the need to say that, would you. Once you leave this PC New Labour waking nightmare, outside England few people regard these as British, and you can speak more freely. It's no different from whitey trying to be Thai, it's greeted with amusement and not taken seriously by the locals, and presumably you'l have to spend years having the same conversations with Thai officials over and over again. Even look-khreung get treated as farang, it's just reality.

    Now that New Labour's nationdestroying agenda is playing out, and they have actually removed citizenship from ethnically British people born in Britain, the thin end of the wedge for ethnic replacement is there. Getting out of the EU might be just in the nick of time to finally install proper immigration rules like they have in Canada and Australia. Labour people have no idea how hated they are in their former heartlands of WWC Britain. Hated like The Sun newspaper in Liverpool.
    Last edited by CaptainNemo; 22-09-2019 at 08:50 PM.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuRY1skaH4M

    we are all figments of our own imagination.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainNemo View Post
    I want to see the one where he tries to resume his British citizenship, after being forced to promise in writing to give it up. I mean, the UK government says you can, but, it used to sound a lot more like a formality, but some changes make it sound less so...

    Resume your British nationality

    In some cases it’s possible to resume your British nationality after renouncing it.
    Read the guidance to check if you can apply.
    https://www.gov.uk/renounce-british-...sh-nationality

    You now have a load of "good character" stuff to worry about, which is thanks to terrorism, and in the opinion of many, thanks to New Labour and it's ethnic engineering experiment.
    https://assets.publishing.service.go.../Guide_RS1.pdf

    This has ruined a benefit of UK citizenship, that used to be easy-going, now it's all very touchy, and all set up to deprive you of your birthright for all kinds of dubious reasons, and of course "in the name of equality and diversity", being indigenous counts for nothing.
    It's focking disgusting actually, and the visceral hatred that used to be directed at the Tories is now for the Labour party, the LibDems, sjws and remainiacs, they really have focking ruined the world.

    You an apply... you can as a native born ethnically autochthonous English person, ask permission of a first-generation African or Asian immigrant for permission to resume your homeland citizenship, and when you land at Heathrow, you'll be faced with immigration staff who are similarly foreign. Idiots saying "oh they're as British as you or I", well if they were, you wouldn't feel the need to say that, would you. Once you leave this PC New Labour waking nightmare, outside England few people regard these as British, and you can speak more freely. It's no different from whitey trying to be Thai, it's greeted with amusement and not taken seriously by the locals, and presumably you'l have to spend years having the same conversations with Thai officials over and over again. Even look-khreung get treated as farang, it's just reality.

    Now that New Labour's nationdestroying agenda is playing out, and they have actually removed citizenship from ethnically British people born in Britain, the thin end of the wedge for ethnic replacement is there. Getting out of the EU might be just in the nick of time to finally install proper immigration rules like they have in Canada and Australia. Labour people have no idea how hated they are in their former heartlands of WWC Britain. Hated like The Sun newspaper in Liverpool.
    What a load of shite you talk. You know nothing about it at all.

    I signed a form from the UK Embassy saying that I intend to renounce my British citizenship. I asked the vice-consul about it and she said it means nothing.

    So the truth is that you DON"T need to renounce it so no need to apply for it again.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainNemo View Post
    5,000 baht for what? The 3-5 years of various visas and visa run costs and lawyers fees and Thai language exams and whatever else? I bet it costs more than that really.
    Visa runs?

    I stayed on my normal working visa extensions, never having to run anywhere.

    I estimate you could do the whole thing for about 20k baht if you live in Bangkok. The most expensive things being getting my passport/degrees legalized at the embassy. There may be a few documents that need translated/legalized, like if you were married abroad etc.

    There are no lawyers fees, you don't need a lawyer, it's fairly simple. Taxis here and there. 5 k to a charity is the other big payment.

    The Thai language exam is a 5 minute multiple choice test.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuangLao View Post
    Don't know where he came up with this 5K [all inclusive?]
    Perhaps, he's noted this cost reference to a single procedure item, one in a series of bureaucratic processing.

    Over a few years time, the staggered cost must be astounding.

    Outta curiosity, and when the processed is completed, I might hope that Chalky genuinely itemizes/records everything and provides us with a final tally, as such to total costs.
    5k B is the application fee. Actually it might have been 5100 B. I haven't itemized everything but will try to record the process when finished.

    Really the amount is not staggering at all, trip to the tax office, amphur a few times, things are free or 100 baht or so. It really is a barstool myth that it is difficult to impossible.

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