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  1. #1
    Isle of Discombobulation
    Chittychangchang's Avatar
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    Man caught having sex with a plastic cone at Wigan train station.UK

    Trevor Smith, 38, appeared before Wigan magistrates to plead guilty to outraging public decency during a bizarre drunken incident at North Western train station.


    Justices heard that on April 14, Smith, from Arrivato Plaza, Stoke, was seen sitting in a lift with his trousers and underpants round his ankles at the station with a cleaning cone on his lap, “appearing to have sex with it and thrusting his hips at it.”

    The defendant later explained that he was the worse for drink and had also taken a powder given to him by friends to cheer him up that he thought was cocaine - but later turned out not to be a drug at all.

    The hearing was told that at around 9.30pm, a Virgin Trains team leader was asked by a colleague to meet him at the station lift to platform four – at the subway level.

    Once at the lift, the team leader looked through the window in the closed lift door and saw the defendant siting on the floor with a cleaning cone, upside down, on his lap.

    At this point, the witness took a picture of Smith then opened the door to see what he was doing and could see that Smith had his trousers pulled down and appeared to be thrusting his hips towards the cone.

    He also noticed that Smith had white powder around his nose.

    As a result, he contacted the British Transport Police who sent an officer who entered the lift and found Smith now on top of the cone still thrusting into it.

    Realising he was being watched, Smith began pulling his trousers up before being helped to his feet by the officer who also observed the powder around his lower face what appeared to be further drugs on the lift’s floor.

    As a result Smith was arrested on suspicion of possessing a controlled class A drug although it later turned out it wasn’t a drug and so he was de-arrested, although he was later reported for outraging public decency.

    Smith said he had been drinking heavily that day, watching the football, and that he suffered from diabetes and depression.

    Friends had seen that he was getting down and given him a white powder that he believed to be cocaine but he was not sure.
    He stated he was heading home on the train and had entered the lift, thinking he was in a locked room and that was all he could remember.

    The hearing was told the officer impressed on Smith how what he had done had impacted on witnesses and also the fact that any other person could have seen what they had - children or otherwise.

    The court was told that Smith was extremely apologetic and understood how the situation he had got into himself into could be interpreted.

    It was heard that he had previous convictions for other outraging public decency.

    He was remanded on unconditional bail by the magistrates.

    He was told to return to the same court for sentencing later this month.
    https://www.sthelensreporter.co.uk/n...O_FM4--BAtk4o8

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    the one time you'd be happy at getting ripped off with fake blow.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    I notice Chitty hasn't been around today. Just sayin'.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat terry57's Avatar
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    Most probably The Gent dressed up as a punters 50 years younger than him.

  5. #5
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    Was he non-binary?

  6. #6
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    Moron. I don't understand why people can't just walk the extra few meters and use public facilities.


  7. #7
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    It was heard that he had previous convictions for other outraging public decency.
    Hmm.. Involving other inanimate objects.?

  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
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    What on earth has be-cone of this country?

  9. #9
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    whitnall was it ?

  10. #10
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    Essentially, the northern English lower end are scarcely much higher than a primate in the evolutionary tree and are therefore quite capable of behaviour no Homo Sapiens would contemplate, never mind understand.

    It explains Brexit.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat

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    A cleaning cone?...

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat

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    Similar to a traffic cone in that it alerts a passer- by to an area under maintenance.

  13. #13
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    Okay...But Jaysus, why fuck one?...

    Where's he from again?...

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seekingasylum View Post
    Essentially, the northern English lower end are scarcely much higher than a primate in the evolutionary tree and are therefore quite capable of behaviour no Homo Sapiens would contemplate, never mind understand.

    It explains Brexit.
    Haha, good point. The guy must have been pretty desperate.

  15. #15
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarilynMonroe View Post
    The guy must have been pretty desperate.
    Notice how sympathetic and consoling the response here is, because it's a man?



  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick View Post
    whitnall was it ?
    My immediate thought was chitty but, as thegent suggests, it could have been any Brexiteer...

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Troy View Post
    My immediate thought was chitty but, as thegent suggests, it could have been any Brexiteer...

  18. #18
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    It probably had more personality than his wife.

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    A clear case of performing CONE-ilingus in a public place.

  20. #20
    Newbie

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    don't knock it until you try it

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