Words to the wise:
When you’re lying in bed and your Mrs is doing the school run, wait until the car is out of Bluetooth range before you start watching porn on your phone.
Words to the wise:
When you’re lying in bed and your Mrs is doing the school run, wait until the car is out of Bluetooth range before you start watching porn on your phone.
I shat myself on the ferry to Koh Chang after a night on the Sang Som.
The locals all thought it quite amusing....
Especially the Bangkok fit twins on holiday with curly long hair, ended up sharing in some high rise 200 baht beach bungalow full of hippies and pot heads.
Tickling feat stoned, great night.
Shitting on a ferry, not so much.
I don't know if I'd call it embarrassing, but I was pretty stupid at the time... I first came to Thailand in 1989, when my Thai wife and I had been together for about 5 years already (we met in L.A.). This was pre-internet days. I bought a guidebook in Bangkok that talked about an up-and-coming resort town called Krabi. We took the sleeper car train down to Hat Yai, stayed a couple of days, then took a van up to Krabi and stayed on Ao Nang. We got a thatched-roof bungalow with fan at Ao Nang Villa, 30 yards from the beach, for the equivalent of $6 a night. The main road there at the time was crushed gravel. It was pretty pristine.
Anyway, we booked a day-long tour on a long boat with this guy named Mee and visited a bunch of the outlying islands. We only saw maybe 5 other people the whole trip. This is just to give you an idea of what it was like back then - we went back to the same places in 2014 and everything was completely developed (still nice though).
My wife asked Mee if we could buy some ganja. He came back the next day with a quarter-pound brick and said "100 baht". I gradually whittled away at that brick over the next 3 weeks - gave some away to a nice German couple we met. Then took the rest on planes all around the country; Phuket-Bangkok, Bangkok-Chiang Mai, Chiang Mai-Bangkok, Bangkok-Korat (that airport was operational then). I ended up disposing of the rest on the way to the airport out of the country. I never gave a thought to getting caught - besides, I thought - "Thailand's a Buddhist country; they're cool. Even if I get caught, what would happen? I'm sure even the jails are mellow places here."
I shudder to think now about what could've happened. I've now read 5-6 books on the Bangkok Hilton etc.
Then in Chiang Mai - we bought two huge (20 pound each) carved wooden elephants for $10 apiece. We checked them on the plane back to the States. In customs in L.A., they took one look at them and whisked them away for x-raying and who knows what else. Waiting around for about an hour, that's when it hit me for the first time - "hey maybe someone hid something in there". Luckily, the elephants were made of wood and nothing else.
Can't believe how stupid I was.
In Khao Yai Area at a restaurant.
Used the toilet in an emergency case and it was a hole in the ground.
Stepped on my belt, slipped out, ended with one hand in the hole whilst the other emptied the 50 Ltr bucket of water beside the toilet that took my last balance, made a pirouette forward and was falling against the door which had no way of resistance to keep me inside.
I was laying Bollock naked in a pool of water on the walkway and looked at some screaming people in the restaurant.
My wife sorted the situation in a quite professional way as she was in tears laughing covering me as much she could while I pulled my undies and trouser up..
We left in a hurry and I drove with the motorbike till we saw a lake where I took a proper bath she still laughing but complaining about stomach pain...
Arguing with an engineer is wrestling a pig in the mud, after 3 hrs you realize that he f**king enjoys it
Been in Thailand for the first time for about five seconds and insulted the King.
Got out of airport at Phuket, taxi to accommodation, hosts showing me the room, dropped Thai coins which started rolling away, stamped on coins ie. stamped on King’s face.
Nice one dickhead. Aussie host’s Thai wife was very gracious and understanding and didn’t say anything but retrieved the coins for stupid falang.
Later I realised what I’d done.
As a recent arrival I got caught short and assumed that as in where i had come from all 7-Elevens had a public toilet. The back room in the 7-Eleven I chose didn't have a toilet but did have a sink and I was in not position to deny it.
Better to think inside the pub, than outside the box?
I apologize if any offence was caused. unless it was intended.
You people, you think I know feck nothing; I tell you: I know feck all
Those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything.
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