Thread: Your Most Embarrassing Thai Story

Anyone brave enough to show themselves in a less than flattering light?

Got any "I can't believe I was so stupid" moments in Thailand to share?

I'll go first, since I know I'm not the first or last punter to behave like an idiot in Thailand:

In 2006 fell in love with a Thai girl, she was (wait for it...) a bar cashier! True love it was, so being the generous type I volunteered to pay off the mortgage on her house in Korat. Only $11,000 USD, but she was worth it! She was my everything, so sweet, so uh.. accommodating! You know, "The One"

Of course, we broke up 3 months later....

So, can anyone top that?

I drank a bottle of Sang Som and awoke two weeks later from my spiritual enlightenment married and skint.

When new to Thailand and doing the wai / sawatdee kap thing I unconsciously picked up the bob / curtesy thing that women do when greeting (maybe because the gf seemed to have hardly any male friends).
Got told earlier rather than later luckily.
At least I always got the ka / kap thing right ....

Not Thailand, but next door...

Back in the day when I was still alive, I lived in a city in Malaysia for a few years. I used to drink a lot more back then, so embarrassing things seemed to happen a lot more often.

One that springs to mind... I was in the habit of a few early drinks in a strip of expat bars, and then after the working guys had gone back home I'd head into town in search of some female company. The usual destination was some shitty Chinese bars which were just shop houses with a crappy bar for the few westerners to sit at, a load of tables for the Chinese to sit at and shout at each other while throwing all their sunflower seed shells and tissues on the floor, and some crappy toilet in the corner.

One night, when I was much the worse for wear, I was struck by an extreme case of the shits. I stumble off, cheeks clenched, to the toilet which is just a filthy little cubicle with a squat job and a bucket of water. From past experience, well aware of how bad this can go, I take off shorts and boxer shorts and hang them on the door, well out of the firing line and carry on with my business. I clean up afterwards and head back to my seat at the bar. It was only after sitting down that I realised with horror, even in my drunken state, that me shorts were still hanging on the toilet door and apart from my flip-flops I was stark bollock naked bellow the waist. Needless to say I had no female company that night.

Another night... different bar but same script. Again, much the worse for wear after starting early with the expat working crowd and then heading into town late on. This night I had slightly more success and after waiting for an age for the bar to close (and buying her a load of drinks) this Chinese chic agreed to come back with me. On the way home she changed her mind about coming back to my place so we stopped off in a car park on the way to hers. We were just getting it on in the front of the car when all of a sudden there were headlights, flashing lights and bladdy torches shining in the car. The passenger side door opens and a policeman takes the girls clothes and orders us out of the car (when I realise we were parked up next to a children's playground). I pull up me shorts and go out to start negotiating.

This could have gone bad very quickly for the half-naked Chinese girl with the bumi police, so needless to say my wallet was rapidly emptied of Ringgit, the Chines chic went home pronto, and another night for me with no female company...

Can think of many that I should be embarrassed about.

Shat my pants while shaking hands with King Bhumibol.

I'm having trouble narrowing shit down...

Would likely involve the late discovery of a ladyboy...way way too many moons ago.

Originally Posted by Norton

Shat my pants while shaking hands with King Bhumibol.

Was that when you worked for the British Council in the 90s...???

Originally Posted by Jeremia2

Was that when you worked for the British Council in the 90s...???

Nope. Was mid Dec 1993. Part of a celebration for the launch of Thailand's first communication satellite.

Originally Posted by Norton

Nope. Was mid Dec 1993. Part of a celebration for the launch of Thailand's first communication satellite.

Aaaah! Don't worry - just trying to work a few things out....Right timings though...!!!!

Originally Posted by Norton

Shat my pants while shaking hands with King Bhumibol.

That must've been the good old days [1970s] when he was much more active and accepting atmosphere was in vogue.
Yes?

Edited: Whoops....corrected, per post above.
Never mind.

Originally Posted by HuangLao

That must've been the good old days [1970s] when he was much more active and accepting atmosphere was in vogue.

Hmmm... I was here. Maybe I did meet him but don't recall. Usually to stoned.

Originally Posted by Norton

Hmmm... I was here. Maybe I did meet him but don't recall. Usually to stoned.

Damn Hippies....

Back in 1999 friend jumped in an empty tuktuk and by empty I mean the drivers seat, drove it from nana to soi cowboy and crashed it into the Suzie wong bar. I followed in a tuktuk with a driver and paid a sum a cash to stop him getting killed, he did pay me back. Anyway coked off my head spent the rest of the night in soi cowboy laughing about the incident and 'pulled' the mamasan after dropping another 20k plus in the bar, took me on her motorbike back to hers and could I get it up, could I fuck regardless of what she was trying. Made my excuses and left never to return to said bar.

Originally Posted by Norton

Shat my pants while shaking hands with King Bhumibol.

You dark horse Norts, that commands respect!

Originally Posted by Mendip

I clean up afterwards and head back to my seat at the bar. It was only after sitting down that I realised with horror, even in my drunken state, that me shorts were still hanging on the toilet door

Originally Posted by buriramboy

drove it from nana to soi cowboy and crashed it into the Suzie wong bar

Originally Posted by Norton

Shat my pants while shaking hands with King Bhumibol.

Well that certainly beats my faggy little story .....

But tell us more !
Was it at the moment of hand contact ? Was it the excitement or just a coincidence of time ? Did he know ? Was it smelly ? Were the pants white? Did someone offer some replacement pants to you ?
This incident could be made into a movie that would break box office records in LOS (unless there's a lese-majesty aspect).
The locals would be rolling in the aisles screaming 'stupid falang'.

I reckon it was a pertruding turtles head that he managed to keep under control untill a suitable time became availible to unleash hell.

I had a similar experience at a police check point up north once, memorable it was. .

None really in Thailand, but in Myanmar I crashed my bike in front of a large crowd because an actual cow yelled at me, in shock I screeched like a bar girl and put the bike down.

Okay, so perhaps there is one, but I think it's more funny than embarrassing. Total newbie teacher turns up and wants to go and party, something I was more than happy to help with, so off we set from Rangsit to BKK. It would seem I may have shown him too much of a good time as he tried to get home to Rangsit solo after a case of the spins- did he end up safe and sound on Khlong 4-did he heck! Poor guy ended up in some random farmers shack being sobered up by locals, which was rather nice of them.

However, I presume this is not how you want your first night in BKK to end.

Originally Posted by Mandaloopy

I crashed my bike in front of a large crowd because an actual cow yelled at me

...did it sound something like "moo!"...

Originally Posted by hallelujah

One day, a group of girls were asking me how much Thai I could speak and getting me to repeat the usual phrases. Then they asked me to repeat one that I couldn't quite decipher in their accents while giggling among themselves: yaak liya hee.

Nice one.