Thread: Your Most Embarrassing Thai Story

Sucked in by scammers doing online dating.
Figured it out and didn't cost me any cash but the dickhead meter goes up a notch.

First one allegedly a student in London but was some schoolgirl in Yala.

Second one was allegdly a rich girl whose dad had died and then she and mum were left poor after his family cleaned them out.
Her only boyfriend had cheated with her besty at her 21st party so she hadn't had a boyfriend since (she's 27 now ...).
Just graduating as vet.
Emailing back and forth playing nice then I email a mate one morning saying 'this one seems nice, smart, good-looking, no cash though but seems to be gagging for a bit of action'. I was at work out in the bush and tired.
That night I checked sent emails and realised I'd sent it to her as well.
Noooooooooooooooo !!! Felt like such a .

Quickly entered damage control mode and emailed saying 'more sorry than I can say, bloke talk' etc etc.
She comes back late next day saying 'no problem, totally understand'. I think 'hmm .... might be a keeper'.
In the meantime I'm back in the office saying to the boss 'I've made a of myself, I need to go to Bangkok for a couple of days to apologise because I've been a pig to some poor girl on her graduation day'.

Later after she wanted ten thousand baht or whatever it was for a passport and a visa to visit me I realised that she was a teenage boy in Korea who spoke good English and had a granny telling him what men wanted to hear, or she could have been two guys in a cell in Moscow.

Topped that by not realising that a smartphone can be connected to a modem in a house.
LINEing with my present wife but had to sit outside because my home's in the country and it has very thick walls so the phone doesn't work inside.
She's wondering if I have a family inside the house.
When she eventually visits me she asks why I don't use the phone inside .....

Hey I'm great with kilovolts and big power, but no so great on the blue screen and the computer.

When I first landed I was working for a Big US company and transferring products here. I was spending a ton of time working with the Thai companies Logistic team. Well they were some beauties. I was mid 40's and they were all around 32 to 35. Anyway the director of planning was pretty persistent and we started seeing each other casually. We had to keep it low key because of any potential conflict of interest or bias. This went on for a year or so. She would come down to see me and stay in my Hotel room. Then in the morning she would drive to work in her car and I would take the transportation service supplied to me.

Now at the time I knew nothing about Thai dating rules and shit. I was dating like I would date a woman in the states. Well one day she asked me to meet her family. I said OK sure. We drove out to see them in Chachoengsao where she grew up. We met them at this really nice restaurant where there were like 15 or so family members. I was casually introduced to them as I walked around and everybody was very nice. They were all working business type folks. Her parents were clearly loaded. I met her 3 older sisters (all gorgeous) who were all married to Thai men who were there and I met them too. Here I was thinking, "Wow, what a nice group of folks". I thought they did this big family get together once in awhile for family fun because I heard that Thai family stuff is big here. We all ate, laughed, joked around and drank a bit. Then the gal I was dating took me out on the veranda area where her parents Uncle were. They all spoke very good English. She excused herself and said she was going to go get another cocktail for me so I was sitting there talking to parents and uncle. I thanked them for the invite and lunch etc. Then her Mom walks up to me and says. "My Daughter loves you and we wanted to meet you to accept you into our family". In the same breath she said "So when will you announce your marriage". I had no idea what to say. I thought to myself...... Marriage...WTF!!!!. I could tell my face went pale a bit. I wasn't sure what to do. So I laughed and said ..."Ahh Marriage, well we are just dating and enjoying our time together." Clearly that answer did not go over well with her mom as I saw that "Look" and she walked away. The gathering turned brutally uncomfortable instantly. The uncle took me to the side and explained the Thai dating process (which I was totally clueless about). I told them all I meant no disrespect but I am not planning on remarrying again. He said that will never work for her parents. You should either marry her or call it quits.

I was embarrassed the entire time while the get together wound down as clearly that entire deal was for me. We got in her car and I drove us back to BKK. We didn't say a word. That was the longest Fkn drive I have ever taken with a women. The entire time I am thinking. "Ok you stupid fucknut, how are you gonna end this deal?" "Should I just open the door on the car and jump out now..LOL!" My mind was working a million miles an hour on options. I mean FFS I work with her, I see her every day at work. We did not talk much back at the Hotel. She asked me "What am I going to do". I said "I dunno but marriage is not one of them"

Fortunately I was slated to fly back to the states for 2 weeks for some business meetings and updates. That eased my pressure but she was calling, emailing all the time, some business, some personal. I felt really bad, as I did not lead her on I was just dating the way I date. When I came back to Thailand I told her "No, our relationship has to end". "I am not in a position to get married and I am not going to be pressured into it". She took a week off work, 2 weeks later she resigned and went and took a director of logistics position at Tesco. I never saw or talked to her again. Too bad really. She was really smart, extremely beautiful, was a nice person and fun to be around.

This was a harsh reminder, Never date where you work, no matter how beautiful, sexy or fun.....

Owwwwwch

Originally Posted by docmartin

Owwwwwch

Yes. Big Ouchhhhhh!

Btw. I learned about Saving Face after that.

Originally Posted by JPPR2

Never date where you work

I married my colleague 25 years ago.

Best decision I ever made.

And in Thailand, well, compared to bars or tindr...not the worst way to meet, imo.

Unlike you to generalise so broadly, jp.

Originally Posted by cyrille

I married my colleague 25 years ago.

Best decision I ever made.

And in Thailand, well, compared to bars or tindr...not the worst way to meet, imo.

Unlike you to generalise so broadly, jp.

You know though. I had seen numerous bad deals with others dating where they work. I had this standing rule to never do it. Then I did and it all went sideways. Was she the right woman....maybe so. Just not the right time. Still stand though. Not a good idea to date at work. Just to close to home as they say

I must say, true or false these are some of the best stories I've read on TD or elsewhere for that matter. RESPECT.

^^ Fair enough.

I still say that in the Thai context...

Agree to differ.

What's important is being clear about what is and is not on the table.

Obviously she wasn't straight with you about the whole trip.

Most mistakes in this area involve the family, that's for sure.

Originally Posted by Mendip

One night, when I was much the worse for wear, I was struck by an extreme case of the shits. I stumble off, cheeks clenched, to the toilet which is just a filthy little cubicle with a squat job and a bucket of water. From past experience, well aware of how bad this can go, I take off shorts and boxer shorts and hang them on the door, well out of the firing line and carry on with my business. I clean up afterwards and head back to my seat at the bar. It was only after sitting down that I realised with horror, even in my drunken state, that me shorts were still hanging on the toilet door and apart from my flip-flops I was stark bollock naked bellow the waist.

...entertaining anecdote...

Originally Posted by cyrille

^^ Fair enough.

I still say that in the Thai context...

Agree to differ.

What's important is being clear about what is and is not on the table.

Obviously she wasn't straight with you about the whole trip.

Most mistakes in this area involve the family, that's for sure.

Yeah I agree. I was really naive in many regards to Thai ways and family life. I had been separated from my previous wife for nearly a year in the US and the divorce process was going but still wouldn't happen for another 6 months more (Actually was finalized 10 months). I had not been dating as I was busy with work and travel. Meeting her was convenient and easy. I also think she carries some responsiblity as she knew I did not know. She could have clued me in on much of it.

When I look back, things happen for reasons.

Originally Posted by Mendip

Not Thailand, but next door...

Back in the day when I was still alive, I lived in a city in Malaysia for a few years. I used to drink a lot more back then, so embarrassing things seemed to happen a lot more often.

One that springs to mind... I was in the habit of a few early drinks in a strip of expat bars, and then after the working guys had gone back home I'd head into town in search of some female company. The usual destination was some shitty Chinese bars which were just shop houses with a crappy bar for the few westerners to sit at, a load of tables for the Chinese to sit at and shout at each other while throwing all their sunflower seed shells and tissues on the floor, and some crappy toilet in the corner.

One night, when I was much the worse for wear, I was struck by an extreme case of the shits. I stumble off, cheeks clenched, to the toilet which is just a filthy little cubicle with a squat job and a bucket of water. From past experience, well aware of how bad this can go, I take off shorts and boxer shorts and hang them on the door, well out of the firing line and carry on with my business. I clean up afterwards and head back to my seat at the bar. It was only after sitting down that I realised with horror, even in my drunken state, that me shorts were still hanging on the toilet door and apart from my flip-flops I was stark bollock naked bellow the waist. Needless to say I had no female company that night.

Another night... different bar but same script. Again, much the worse for wear after starting early with the expat working crowd and then heading into town late on. This night I had slightly more success and after waiting for an age for the bar to close (and buying her a load of drinks) this Chinese chic agreed to come back with me. On the way home she changed her mind about coming back to my place so we stopped off in a car park on the way to hers. We were just getting it on in the front of the car when all of a sudden there were headlights, flashing lights and bladdy torches shining in the car. The passenger side door opens and a policeman takes the girls clothes and orders us out of the car (when I realise we were parked up next to a children's playground). I pull up me shorts and go out to start negotiating.

This could have gone bad very quickly for the half-naked Chinese girl with the bumi police, so needless to say my wallet was rapidly emptied of Ringgit, the Chines chic went home pronto, and another night for me with no female company...

Miri, I presume?

here in Mongolia I need to explain to work I've broken the bed...I have no idea how to even start wording such an email

I brought a ladyboy back to my hotel in Philippines without realising she wasn't a she. Once I did I said no, not on, get out. So she offered a blow job.... The embarrassing part is I took 30 seconds to say no.

Originally Posted by JPPR2

Yes. Big Ouchhhhhh!

Btw. I learned about Saving Face after that.

Delicious story. Now. But not at the time.
Presumably hindsight says that you could have cut a swathe through the luscious logistics team - ie. ‘Look honey # 1/2/3 etc we can only do this once so let’s be as romantic / raunchy / totally debauched as possible and make total lustpuppets of each other’.

I’m very pleased that I married my wife but occasionally when in the LOS and the encouraging looks start happening I wonder if I pulled the trigger too early.

Spent 3 weeks on koh Samui in a backpackers beach front bungalow back in 2002.

The owner a women said to me one day (I thought she was a man)...why you not take lady?
I replied what ladies??, being a tad niave to the whole scene I ignored her comments and kept fratinising with the back packer crowd.

Towards my 4th week in Thailand I headed to Lamai beach slightly inebriated and viewed a lady boy show were an entertainer tried to unzip my cargo pants and relive me of my wallet.
Spotted in the nick of time I promptly exited the establishment and staggered homewards.
Unfortunately I was accosted by some "lady shouting welcome and entered the massage place.
She got out the deep heat and a condom then got on all fours, she was a big girl was and obviously liked several plates of somtam a day.

I made my excuses and left.

Yeah... those first trips to Thailand.

My first experience was late 90s in Phuket. I was walking past a bar and a girl called me in and got out the Connect 4. She says that if I can beat her, I can take her back to the hotel. I thought this is alright, how difficult can it be, but after a few games was beaten every time. By this point she's getting a bit exasperated with this dumb farang, so says, "OK, I beat you, and you can take me back".

Met my wife on ThaiCupid and LINEd for a month then flew to Khon Kaen to meet her.
She was there with a gf and I passed the initial inspection so the gf left.
We went to the hire car counter to get the car I'd booked. No booking. Either Wotif or the hire car company or I had screwed up.
Whatever. But Mr smooth and confident and capable was not what I was projecting.

But it was a good thing in a way because we sorted it out between us and got another hire car at the airport without much trouble.
I drove out of town, pulled over and kissed her and it's been great ever since.

Originally Posted by docmartin

Delicious story. Now. But not at the time.
Presumably hindsight says that you could have cut a swathe through the luscious logistics team - ie. ‘Look honey # 1/2/3 etc we can only do this once so let’s be as romantic / raunchy / totally debauched as possible and make total lustpuppets of each other’.

I’m very pleased that I married my wife but occasionally when in the LOS and the encouraging looks start happening I wonder if I pulled the trigger too early.

Well it was a learning experience and one that I had to learn uncomfortably. Work relationships are complicated, especially when both parties are in management and work directly with each other. Had this been a case that I connected with the receptionist or something it would not have been so uncomfortable. Her parents were not after sinsot, a new buffalo or money from me. But it was all about face and perception. They did not mind she had chosen and was dating a foreigner but they wanted it to be on the up and up and marrying off the last daughter was probably important. Hindsight is always a bitch. I told some of my colleagues about it after it happened. It was good laughs over drinks but wasn't so funny standing there with all her family as they waited for me to raise a cup and say "We're getting married"....LOL!!

As for pulling the trigger too soon. That event in my life was a HUGE wake up call and after that I just focused on work and figured I'd just take my time. I am happily married now to a really well balanced woman without any family pressure or concerns....

That silent drive back to the ranch must have been a long long one ....

Originally Posted by docmartin

That silent drive back to the ranch must have been a long long one ....

Brutal. Seriously. She was in complete dismay. The ride was about 1.5 hrs and felt like 2 days. We said maybe a few things and that was do you need something to eat or drink. Neither of us were mad, just really did not know what to say. Usually in the car we were always joking, laughing making comments. ZIP!!!!

Even odder was when we arrived back to my condo, I thought she would leave to her own place and go think about it and give me sometime to process what it was all about. She got out and came up to my place. We walked around in this weird silence, she stayed the night and then left to her place Sunday morning. I thought, How in the hell did I move 8,000 miles away and end up in another dog house..

555

It's always at the back of a man's mind - the longer it's been good the closer the next blowup, and the better it's been, the worse the next disaster.
Shouldn't be like that and often it's not, but there's always bitter experience whispering in the background.

Regarding the meet-the-folks story, it's so hard if you're a decent guy to realise that you've hurt a good woman through no fault of her own. Makes one feel like a complete and utter bastard because you care for her and understand what has happened for her.

Originally Posted by docmartin

555

It's always at the back of a man's mind - the longer it's been good the closer the next blowup, and the better it's been, the worse the next disaster.
Shouldn't be like that and often it's not, but there's always bitter experience whispering in the background.

Regarding the meet-the-folks story, it's so hard if you're a decent guy to realise that you've hurt a good woman through no fault of her own. Makes one feel like a complete and utter bastard because you care for her and understand what has happened for her.

So true. I felt like utter shit for damn near a month. One day we were plugging along , enjoying life and work, traveling around then BAM...its over. Like right now over, not fights and arguements over. I knew like she knew that marriage had to happen and while I could have legged it out to get a better bearing on it all there was no way we could see the family again unless it was to tell then I had proposed.

I occasionally wonder how she is doing. No doubt with her education and intelligence along with being stunningly pretty she met a guy and moved on. Funny even if I was to bump into her now it would be an awkward silence.

Life is all about lessons and timing

Originally Posted by JPPR2

So true. I felt like utter shit for damn near a month. One day we were plugging along , enjoying life and work, traveling around then BAM...its over. Like right now over, not fights and arguements over. I knew like she knew that marriage had to happen and while I could have legged it out to get a better bearing on it all there was no way we could see the family again unless it was to tell then I had proposed.

I occasionally wonder how she is doing. No doubt with her education and intelligence along with being stunningly pretty she met a guy and moved on. Funny even if I was to bump into her now it would be an awkward silence.

Life is all about lessons and timing

Or messed up again, I've met some educated and intelligent birds in Asia that act like complete twits when it comes to love life matters; in this case she must have known what was upa nd should have at least wanted you...

Cannot edit, meant to type warned you! (Or perhaps she was hoping to push you into a situation to force your hand, and you just went the wrong way!)

I'm just glad no one here lost any money in Thailand. Romantic/drunken mishaps seem to be the worst of it