Thread: Dear Santa

Attention under the tree department Norf Pole




Dear Santa
or Mother Christmas Uncle Kwame Kwanza /Holly Hannakah, apologies to anyone I've overcooked.


How's it hangin?
Sorry I forgot to thank you for the couple of warm sex last year ,sorry sox.


Together with Aunty Margie's annual pocketless cardigan I am the wooliest sexpat in Manner, sorry the loomiest expat in Lanna.

I regifted that penis enlarger to a young trainspotter and the VD cream to a Bangers-cum-Chiang Mai Lothario, he says the puppies apres ski ate it scusi appreciate it.


Mr Piles loved the plaice mutts and Anthony loves the muffler shining chammy dodger.CCC made good use of the wooden spoon, and MunterLoopy actually took the wager for the most far out posting, please,please send him the delux Antarctic Gortex and Emporer penguin scrotum force 10 willywarmer this year URGENT, it's almost frozen and could snap off at the vital moment.

Not much news here I lost 2kg, my biro and sanity,Mskit told me it was hot wet and moist, what's not to like.


A polit request when you snuggle down my chimney this year can I have a dozen Goldycox DJcondoms, the Goldilocks size not too large not to big,you know the ones not those Afro-Fijian ones which I failed to fill or the Oriental mini that caused premature enertainment.


All I need is "the bog standard European DJcocksock" I know it's a bit of a mouthful., my recipient prefers jam strawberry excita but even dandelion and squid floppy would go down well would be welcome and bring a little knobberlty to the Saturday night wrestling.


My probe asian officer Jack McToff assures me Haggis,Butterscoth and cockaleekie is the cumming thing.A packet of 12 assorted flavours should suffice and I'll send any spares to Loykatoey who often needs a spurt at clitoris allsorts.


I request nothing else for myself and wish you and Mrs Claus fulsome festivities (Don't forget to turn off Alexa, Siri and the live stream sodcast when the elves arrive for your legendary goblin party, that 2017 video of Rudolf does Dilly while latin dancing is still on instafap)


A friend who is a jolly fellow and a great contribulation here is gagging for a pie even snake and pygmy.


Good luck on your rounds

P.S. PM sent with final solution to the reindeer piss disposal