Chittys free therapy sofa

**Chittychangchang** · 04-09-2018, 07:07 AM

Got a problem that needs sorting?

Then take a seat on the Chitty sofa,relax and share your problem.

Free therapy for all!

But remember to start your post with...

Dear Chitty,

I'll get back to you ASAP with my soothing words of wisdom

Remember, sharing is caring unless you're in the playground, then a smack in the nose normally solves the problem.

Over to you...

CCC

**Neverna** · 04-09-2018, 07:20 AM

Dear Chitty

There's a noisy kitten and its mother outside my front door. Should I strangle the kitten or drown it in the klong?

And should I do the same with the mother cat so it doesn't repeat the same thing again?

Yours

Caring Nev

**YourDaddy** · 04-09-2018, 07:21 AM

Dear Chitty,

I'd like to have a futon

**Chittychangchang** · 04-09-2018, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by Neverna

Daer Chitty

There's a noisy kitten and its mother outside my front door. Should I strangle the kitten or drown it in the klong?

And should I do the same with the mother cat so it doesn't repeat the same thing again?

Yours

Caring Nev

Dear Nev,

Your in Thailand ffs!

Chuck the squawking things on the bbq and have a nice meal, don't forget loads of chilli, nam pla and sugar.

A full belly a decent nights sleep and plenty of pussy!

Happy days

Chitty

**AntRobertson** · 04-09-2018, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

Got a problem that needs sorting?

Yes!

Our bastard cats have completely fucked our sofa! Little bastards have clawed it to pieces.

Can I have yours??

**Chittychangchang** · 04-09-2018, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by YourDaddy

Dear Chitty,

I'd like to have a futon

Dear YD,

May I humbly suggest that you fvck off to that shifter channel.

Futon indeed.

Chitty

**PlanK** · 04-09-2018, 07:31 AM

Dear Chitty,

Is going to Pattaya with a wedge of cash and blowing it all on cheap beer & hookers, detailing it all on a TD thread, the universal solution to all of life's problems?

**Chittychangchang** · 04-09-2018, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

Yes!

Our bastard cats have completely fucked our sofa! Little bastards have clawed it to pieces.

Can I have yours??

Dear Ant,

I will overlook your exemption at the start of your post this time, but please in future begin with Dear Chitty.

It's not fvcking rocket science is it!

In answer to your question and problem.

Send your cats to Nev for dinner or get a dog.

If you require a sofa then send YD a PM as he's got one going spare as he now has a Futon.

Chitty.

**Chittychangchang** · 04-09-2018, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by Plan B

Dear Chitty,

Is going to Pattaya with a wedge of cash and blowing it all on cheap beer & hookers, detailing it all on a TD thread, the universal solution to all of life's problems?

Dear Plan B,

The answer is a resounding yes.

Chitty

**AntRobertson** · 04-09-2018, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

Dear Ant,

I will overlook your exemption at the start of your post this time, but please in future begin with Dear Chitty.

It's not fvcking rocket science is it!

In answer to your question and problem.

Send your cats to Nev for dinner or get a dog.

If you require a sofa then send YD a PM as he's got one going spare as he now has a Futon.

Chitty.

Dear Citty,

Soz!

But that's crap advice. If no free sofa, can I at least get me money back?

**Chittychangchang** · 04-09-2018, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

Dear Citty,

Soz!

But that's crap advice. If no free sofa, can I at least get me money back?

Dear Ant,

If YD has ripped you off with a sofa deal masquerading it as a futon the I suggest that you pay him a visit and shit in the bottom half of his margerine tub located on the second shelf in his refrigerator.
Make sure you cover the shit with at least an inch of margarine, then in a couple of weeks he will get his karma one fine morning whilst tucking into his marmalade on toast.

Chitty

**PlanK** · 04-09-2018, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

Dear Plan B,

The answer is a resounding yes.

Chitty

Answer found.

Thread Closed.
If you wish to re-open this thread please contact a Moderator.

**Latindancer** · 04-09-2018, 07:46 AM

Dear Chitty,
(Jeez, your client Ant left an oddly unpleasant smell in here).....I know I consulted you only very recently, but as your answer was greatly elucidating, please advise me : is there any correlation between small women and tight pussy ? I need to start searching again before my prostate explodes. And does childbirth really stretch things that much ?

Cheers

**Chittychangchang** · 04-09-2018, 07:54 AM

Dear Plan B,

You may wish to install windows hacking tool on your pic and direct yourself to SP's famous mongering trip for inspiration.

Chitty

**AntRobertson** · 04-09-2018, 07:55 AM

Dear Chitty,

Why is Latinprancer so whiny and obsessive and such a massive hypocrite and spineless wimp?

**Chittychangchang** · 04-09-2018, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by Latindancer

Dear Chitty,
(Jeez, your client Ant left an oddly unpleasant smell in here).....I know I consulted you only very recently, but as your answer was greatly elucidating, please advise me : is there any correlation between small women and tight pussy ? I need to start searching again before my prostate explodes. And does childbirth really stretch things that much ?

Cheers

Dear LD,

Surgery is closed for today.

However it shall reopen tomorrow when the smell of pussy has evaporated from my sofa.

Now I intend to have a lie down.

Chitty

**Neverna** · 04-09-2018, 08:29 AM

^ Bottle that smell while it's still fresh, Chitty.

**Loy Toy** · 04-09-2018, 10:01 AM

Has Jose Mourinho booked your sofa yet mate?

**David48atTD** · 04-09-2018, 10:20 AM

Dear Chitty,

I am contemplating some home refurbishments.

Namely, splitting a larger bedroom into 2 smaller rooms so that the siblings have some privacy.

Should I save money and do it my self?

What are the pitfalls of doing same and am I overreaching my building skills and incur the wrath of the local council
if I go ahead with a self build?

**Dillinger** · 04-09-2018, 11:13 AM

Dear Chitty,

I walked into Ikea, Bang Na on Saturday and a little Thai guy in a blue and yellow outfit asked me if I wanted decking.
Luckily I got the first punch in, but others may not be so fortunate.
How can I steer clear of confrontation from angry little men?

**Iceman123** · 04-09-2018, 11:40 AM

^
Chitty is a bit busy just now so I will answer this one for you.

Hone your boxing skills at the Ringside Bar Makati Manila - the midgets all wear boxing gloves therefore it is not too sore as they belt the bejesus out of you.
Couple of months in training and you will be good to go - that way you should get a couple of hits in before you bite the pavement again outside the Pintsman.

**Dillinger** · 04-09-2018, 12:35 PM

**jabir** · 04-09-2018, 12:51 PM

Dear Chitty,

I've fallen for this girl down the road, but I'm quite shy and don't know how to broach the subject. She is very sexy and chatty and sometimes flirty when we have the occasional passing words, but I heard she has a beefy and rather possessive boyfriend. Should I send her a picture of my penis?

Thank you

**david44** · 04-09-2018, 01:57 PM

Dear Aunty Chitty

thanks for the ointment, Lulu says the rash is clearing up and he'll take your valued advice and wear protection next time.

Is drinking piss the way forward please asking for a friend

**jabir** · 04-09-2018, 02:58 PM

Dear Chitty,

An earlier respondent posed a question about drinking piss, which reminded me of the time I walked into the kitchen and found my wife peeing into coffee that she was about to serve to uninvited guests. She said it turns her on. I tried it and there is much to be said for blessing unwary others with one's own bodily juices. Do you think we should keep things as are, or ratchet up a notch?

Morgan, Derby

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