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  1. #1
    I'm in Jail

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    Why are Thai women such parasites and users ??

    I'd like to get to the bottom of why it is expected by Thai women that men pay for everything, support them in other ways (driving them places, picking them up in the car and so on), but don't really give much more back than making meals (which they share anyway) and the occasional bout of sex (which they also share, is not hard work and they seem to enjoy it, though they don't often initiate it).

    What is it ? Why do they seem to be such parasites and users ? And why do men put up with it ? (Having said this, it seems that Thai men have sex for a while and then leave the relationship.....gee, I wonder why ?)...

    I know that women in general are like that anyway, but Thai women seem to have it more strongly / often. How did it develop in this culture ? And is this associated with the reason that Thai women are easily drawn into prostitution....?

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat raycarey's Avatar
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    ^ so....everything's going well at home.

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    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    How did it develop in this culture ? And is this associated with the reason that Thai women are easily drawn into prostitution....?
    Survival?

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raycarey View Post
    ^ so....everything's going well at home.

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    Chinease heritage, is the answer.

  6. #6
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    Huang lao will be soon to explain things

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    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by uncle junior View Post
    Huang lao will be soon to explain things
    The same Huang Lao (which is an odd user-name for an American) who told us he's been married and divorced about 6 times?. He's the forum go-to man for all things scat, but I'd be looking elsewhere for advice on anything to do with relationships or anything else related to Thailand.

  8. #8
    . Neverna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    I'd like to get to the bottom of why it is expected by Thai women that men pay for everything, support them in other ways (driving them places, picking them up in the car and so on), but don't really give much more back than making meals (which they share anyway) and the occasional bout of sex (which they also share, is not hard work and they seem to enjoy it, though they don't often initiate it).

    What is it ? Why do they seem to be such parasites and users ? And why do men put up with it ? (Having said this, it seems that Thai men have sex for a while and then leave the relationship.....gee, I wonder why ?)...

    I know that women in general are like that anyway, but Thai women seem to have it more strongly / often. How did it develop in this culture ? And is this associated with the reason that Thai women are easily drawn into prostitution....?
    It is not always like that. What I mean is it is not always about the gender. It's about relative wealth and status. Perhaps it's just that in your situation, you are seen as the most wealthy or higher status person. Yesterday I went out for a meal with some Thais. We all ate very well in a fairly expensive restaurant. I didn't pay a single baht. The Thai person with a well paid job paid for everything. She made sure she got the bill and paid for it. She has done that almost every time I have been out with them. When I have tried to pay, she insists that she pays. Once when I managed to pay, she seemed disappointed. Potential loss of face, perhaps? Whatever, I now go with the flow and everybody is happy.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat YourDaddy's Avatar
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    Lol at the replies.

    Do men really pay for everything, though? Or do Western men pay for everything. I mean, I dunno, but I often read stories about lazy, drunk Thai men banging other women while wife is the main breadwinner at home.

    I don't support my wife and the only reason I pay for everything when we go somewhere is because she's provided me with a place to live for the past few years.

    But then again, my wife is not a stunner nor is she 20 years younger than myself.

    However, she will nag and whine about take care.

    Not my problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    I didn't pay a single baht. The Thai person with a well paid job paid for everything. She made sure she got the bill and paid for it. She has done that almost every time I have been out with them. When I have tried to pay, she insists that she pays. Once when I managed to pay, she seemed disappointed. Potential loss of face, perhaps? Whatever, I now go with the flow and everybody is happy.
    When I go with my wife everyone shares the bill.

    When I went out with my greedy little ex, I never paid for a bill in a restaurant. Her friends would always pay, I guess to show off. Her sister once paid us $1000 a night for a villa in Hua Hin.

    I guess that's why I got dumped as I couldn't show off on the same level.
    Last edited by YourDaddy; 30-07-2018 at 01:40 PM.

  10. #10
    I'm in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    It is not always like that. What I mean is it is not always about the gender. It's about relative wealth and status. Perhaps it's just that in your situation, you are seen as the most wealthy or higher status person. Yesterday I went out for a meal with some Thais. We all ate very well in a fairly expensive restaurant. I didn't pay a single baht. The Thai person with a well paid job paid for everything. She made sure she got the bill and paid for it. She has done that almost every time I have been out with them. When I have tried to pay, she insists that she pays. Once when I managed to pay, she seemed disappointed. Potential loss of face, perhaps? Whatever, I now go with the flow and everybody is happy.
    So Sakdina culture extends to intimate relationships ?

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    I'd like to get to the bottom of why it is expected by Thai women that men pay for everything, support them in other ways (driving them places, picking them up in the car and so on), but don't really give much more back than making meals (which they share anyway) and the occasional bout of sex (which they also share, is not hard work and they seem to enjoy it, though they don't often initiate it).
    My experience is not that at all. At home or in the neighbours' homes. Even my landlord is an example of things not being as you suggest. He got laid off an oil rig job due to illness. His wife works, and so he stays home, does all the housework and cooking. She supports the household financially and they both take responsibility for their rental. Don't ask me about the sex life but they've been married for at least 15 years. Neighbour, both work and she has her own motorscooter. She used to have a car but sold it as payments were hard to keep up. Married for 12 years now. My wife works and contributes to the household budget. I work far less hours, so I cook and do errands. She cleans the house every weekend and insists on doing the laundry. There's probably an equal amount of who initiates sex. In Muslim households, it seems to be the opposite; Men will sit around drinking tea all day admiring their caged birds while wives go out and work and do all the household chores.
    I really don't think Thai women are particularly leachy.

  12. #12
    . Neverna's Avatar
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    Social hierarchy is very strong in Thai society, including in families. It is taught from a very young age until it is ingrained in the Thai psyche. If you want to change or adapt that in your personal relationships with a Thai, you'll probably meet resistance but I expect it is possible, especially living outside of Thailand. Good luck.
    Last edited by Neverna; 30-07-2018 at 01:56 PM.

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Why are Thai women such parasites and users ??-wife-buys-lunch-jpg  

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    . Neverna's Avatar
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    ^ It works so much better with the original gif.

  15. #15
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    I'd like to get to the bottom of why it is expected by Thai women that men pay for everything, support them in other ways (driving them places, picking them up in the car and so on), but don't really give much more back than making meals (which they share anyway) and the occasional bout of sex (which they also share, is not hard work and they seem to enjoy it, though they don't often initiate it).
    I do not think they are parasites. Isn't that how it is all over the world for the most part? When I dated American women, before I got married and after my divorce, it was always expected I'd pay. I never thought of them as leaches or parasites. I'd also typically always pick them up if it was more of a formal type date versus a happy hour deal where they come after work. If you go to a bar...men typically always buy the drinks. The only time I found that women will pay for drinks is if they have no intention of giving you any VJJ. This is their out because there were no expectations.

    Here in Thailand I support my wife 100% (financially) but my wife basically takes care of me with everything else. I see it as a nice companionship and enjoy it as such. When I was working and went out with many Thai friends we all shared in the bill with the exception of a few times where they would not let me pay. That to me is just life with friends as next time I will likely buy. I found this to be the same back in the states. My small extended family when we go see them in Ayutthaya they always buy us dinner. I do not think I have bought anything as my SIL insists on the bill and makes my BIL Pay...

    I think in the end its how one perceives it. There has to be a balance. That said there are most certainly "gamers" who know how to play it well and get what they want.
    Last edited by Stumpy; 30-07-2018 at 02:43 PM.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    ^ It works so much better with the original gif.
    Tried that, came up as an image.

  17. #17
    กงเกวียนกำเกวียน HuangLao's Avatar
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    The nature of all things Thai.

    Get over it.
    Connect.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat raycarey's Avatar
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    ^ FOJ.

  19. #19
    I'm in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by JPPR2 View Post
    I do not think they are parasites. Isn't that how it is all over the world for the most part?.
    Yes, but in Thailand it seems to be stronger. I mean, in which other Second World country do you still have to pay bride price, and in some cases the parents actually keep it, as they did mine ??
    It just seems like there is a subtle but continual transfer of wealth going on from the man to the woman. And sometimes not too subtle.

    This irritates me.

    Or perhaps I'm just getting the seven year itch ?

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat YourDaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    Yes, but in Thailand it seems to be stronger. I mean, in which other Second World country do you still have to pay bride price, and in some cases the parents actually keep it, as they did mine ??
    It just seems like there is a subtle but continual transfer of wealth going on from the man to the woman. And sometimes not too subtle.

    This irritates me.

    Or perhaps I'm just getting the seven year itch ?
    My wife put money from her own savings for sonsod.

    Her parents asked for 500k (to be returned), but she put 1 mil.

    I asked her why would she do something like this, but never received a clear answer.

    Then someone on another forum told me so that she can make herself look better in the village.

    I kinda felt sorry for her, but I found out later that her parents made 200k off that wedding, so.....

  21. #21
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    Yes, but in Thailand it seems to be stronger. I mean, in which other Second World country do you still have to pay bride price, and in some cases the parents actually keep it, as they did mine ??
    It just seems like there is a subtle but continual transfer of wealth going on from the man to the woman. And sometimes not too subtle.

    This irritates me.

    Or perhaps I'm just getting the seven year itch ?
    I guess it would all depend on the gal you met and how much you paid. After that is only what your expectations are in return for that "Investment".

    I didn't pay anything to marry my wife and wouldn't have under any circumstances. We did none of that Thai cultural old school stuff. We met, we dated, found we got on together good, got married, built a house and just live life. Of course building the house meant it was hers in the end but I knew that going in.

    I think the difference between Thai women and Western women is that Western women can disguise it all a lot better where as Thai women are not that cunning (Bars girls excluded of course LOL)
    Last edited by Stumpy; 30-07-2018 at 06:30 PM.

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat David48atTD's Avatar
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    Chin Up LD.

    Out curiosity is your Lady still working?

    Do you pay a stipend, send money to her Farm/Parents.

    My Partner gave up a sweet job to move to the West and start a Family, so I did (pay a stipend) till she
    started working ... that was always our agreement.

    About half of what she used to give, but equal to the Farm Father and the (working in the West) Sister.

    But she pays now as she works part time.


    We always seem to work it out so it's fair to both parties.
    Last edited by David48atTD; 30-07-2018 at 06:40 PM.
    Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago ...


  23. #23
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    in which other Second World country do you still have to pay bride price, and in some cases the parents actually keep it, as they did mine ??
    I never paid it and pointed that out right at the start. Not my custom. MiL still raises the matter sometimes, 13 years later. God bless her. She still buys me beer if she wins on the illegal lottery.

  24. #24
    กงเกวียนกำเกวียน HuangLao's Avatar
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    Most curious as to how some use their very limited exposure and experience to cast broad and standardized generalities upon said matter.
    Whereas, every situation, circumstance, and individual will differ greatly from one to the next.

    So called reasoned intelligent folks still can't work this out.
    Deep conditioning and the usual dumbed-down ingrained mind set might get the best of them.

  25. #25
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JPPR2 View Post
    I guess it would all depend on the gal you met
    Oh ffs...I came to this thread for huge, unashamedly racist generalisations about 30 million people based on experiences with one or two of them.

    I want my money back.

    More of the ‘They paid...the shallow show offs’ or a ‘I paid...the scrounging bastards’ stuff, please.

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