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Thread: Best Jobs

  1. #1
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    Best Jobs

    So here's where you can post your stories about the best jobs that you've had - 'best' being in the eye of the beholder of course, and perhaps not for sensible reasons.

    I'll start

    The best job that I had was when I ran an SMS 'sexchat' business in the late 90's in the UK. Actually, I was fairly innovative in those days, and wrote an artificial intelligence program that replaced many of the expensive human text-chat operators that were used by the London East End mobster guys (who were heavily involved in this industry, as well as top-shelf porn mags etc etc).

    I suppose my AI program put a fair amount of money their way.

    On one occasion, I was invited by one of these mobster chiefs to a private party in Madrid. He paid all my travel and hotel expenses. He had hired the top lap-dancing venue in Madrid. I arrived late in the evening from my flight and was introduced to 'the boss', whom I had only spoken with by telephone previously.

    On realising who I was (the 'techie guy'), he shouted at his mates to clear a chair for me. I sat down to rest, the boss clicked his fingers and a stark-naked and very cute lap-dancer sat on my face...

    After several hours of entertainment, I retired to my room in the nearby hotel. Fumbling for the bedroom light-switch in the dark, I flicked the switch, to reveal 2 more very hot young ladies waiting in my bed.

    'The boss told us to take care of you' they chorused....

    Happy days they was

    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

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    Not sure if any of us can top that, dude !

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    Years ago I worked for agency in London driving a mini bus taking workers to jobs all over town.
    Worked at Gordons gin factory for a few months and my job was in the distillery in the vat plant,my job was cleaning the copper handrail on the stairway that led to a viewing platform overlooking the vats.
    No one ever used the stairs so all I had to do was walk up with a cloth in my hand and rest it on the rail as I went.
    My other duty was washing up the 3 cups and wiping the table in the break room then reading their papers,and if was a nice day,take the papers,head up the stairs to a door that led to the roof,sit back,enjoy the view and do a bit of reading.
    At knock off time would collect all the poor buggers who toiled in the bottling plant,drive them back to the office then drive home,bus was mine to use as I pleased off duty.

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    Worked at Gordons gin factory for a few months..
    That reminds me. I did a 6-month contract at the Guinness brewery in west London, designing a mobile data reporting system for their team of pub equipment repair engineers.

    Up till then, communications between the field service guys (they were all guys in their 50's) and head office was done by post!! So an instantaneous reporting system would certainly improve repair turnaround times.

    I worked with Palm Pilots and modems (early days then for mobile data equipment), and enjoyed this contract.

    The best part was visiting the onsite staff bar every Friday, which stocked the coldest and freshesh Guinness that I have ever tasted!

    Was my mobile system adopted? Yes by the management and no by the luddite field service engineers, who would (as I later discovered), cook the Palm Pilots in the pub microwave oven for 2 minutes, and then complain that the equipment didn't work...

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    Being still relatively young, I'm going to go with my current career. Find it genuinely rewarding which is big motivator. PD is pretty much always an ongoing thing so the chances of stagnating and getting bored with it are slim to none. Plus, with in reason, I get to pick and choose where I want to live every couple of years.

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    Worked as a Butlins Redcoat in the early 90's as a DJ.

    Worked as a timeshare tout earning around a thousand pounds sterling a week in the Canary Islands between 1989 and 1993.

    Great times every day and night fighting babes off with a stick.

    Memories that will keep me warm in my old age

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    Early days of mainframe computing.

    I had the best shift work rotation ever.

    Week 1 - Night Shift Mon-Fri - 11pm until all the work was finished, usually about 2am

    Week 2 - Arvo Shift Mon-Fri - 3pm - 11pm

    Week 3 - Day Shift Mon-Fri - 7am - 3pm

    Week 4 - Weekend shift - staff split into 2 teams, team1 did 2x12 hours 7am - 7pm, and team 2 did Saturday 7pm - Sunday 7am.
    Most weekends the Sunday day shift would end by about 3pm

    Then the best part. 7 days off until the next night shift.

    Maybe not as exciting for a 19 year old as supplied hookers, but it meant that once a month I could jump on my bike and blast off to different corners of Australia.
    As a shift worker, I also had 5 weeks vacation that could be added to the end of a rostered break to extend the leave.

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    Head inspector in a dildo factory.


    Just kidding folks. I worked for Siemens.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    'best' being in the eye of the beholder of course,
    I think it safe to say that your best job, as described, is probably pretty damn good in most people's eyes!

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    I think it safe to say that your best job, as described, is probably pretty damn good in most people's eyes!
    My wife didn't agree.....


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    My immediate superior and I were out on the road in a lovely rural area once, waiting (as you do) for a valving job (my real job is classified and you guys don't have the clearance).

    The client didn't turn up so we waited in our cars and read books, then dozed off. Got paid for sleeping. After 3 1/2 hours they turned up, looked at their watches, and announced it was lunch. One more hour reading.

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    Quote Originally Posted by fishlocker View Post


    Just kidding folks. I worked for Siemens.
    Rly? That's where my wife works.

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    It's pretty good getting 1000 baht an hour (50 minutes actually) for teaching brilliant kids a subject that they love. Money and satisfaction.
    Cue Lulu.

    Years ago I was wanting to make a dent in my mortgage so when offered, I took up a job as technical phone support for a UK-based internet service provider whose sole clients were hotels and other such accomodation. The Ritz was one customer. I was the UK's "night shift" in NZ during the late afternoon after I'd got home from my regular job, until 9pm when the Brit staff took over at 9 am their time. VOIP based communication and online able to log in to whatever premises' system. 95% of the time it was telling the guest with a problem how to find his mac address, finding that address on the system, and enabling it. Either that or telling the guest to reboot his device. Since it was early hours in the UK, there was usually no calls, but I was paid by the hour. Some days I'd do 5 hours and only answer one call. I could be cooking dinner or watching TV, just waiting for a call that never came and being paid.

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