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  1. #1
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    Dumb as a box of rocks

    I cycled to school this morning, (as I normally do), wearing my training shoes, tracksuit trousers and yellow cycling vest.

    The school staff room is locked, because the cleaner has forgotten to unlock it and she is nowhere to be found.

    It's my day to do gate duty, next to the school swimming pool. I can't change into trousers and shirt, because these clothes are in the staff room. No problem I think, because my cycling clothes are clean and in any case, the kids are learning to swim in the pool, with 3 local teachers all dressed in tracksuit bottoms, training shoes and gym vests.

    I take my place and greet the students and parents. All is fine until the overweight school manager sees me. "Why aren't you wearing your trousers and shirt?" I explain the problem with the locked staff room and she grunts.

    5 minutes later, the school Headmistress spots me. "Why aren't you wearing your trousers and shirt?" I explain again. "Well, it doesn't look good" she says.

    I take a look at the 3 local teachers in their tracksuit gear and peer at her. "School rules say you must wear appropriate clothing at all times" she says.

    Honestly, I think she would prefer me to cycle to work and the gym in a 3-piece suit and tie.

    She and the school manager could both follow my example and get to the gym to lose a few pounds.....
    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    Honestly, I think she would prefer me to cycle to work and the gym in a 3-piece suit and tie.
    That's how I get to school. Clothes make the man and all of that....

  3. #3
    กงเกวียนกำเกวียน HuangLao's Avatar
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    Damn Foreigners.
    Rules apply differently.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat YourDaddy's Avatar
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    You were at the gate in the tracksuit?

  5. #5
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    Honestly, I think she would prefer me to cycle to work and the gym in a 3-piece suit and tie.
    Is she a Mormon?

  6. #6
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    You were at the gate in the tracksuit?
    No. My gate duty is right next to the swimming pool, (the students have to walk in the school gate where they are greeted by 2 teachers, then they walk to their classroom via the swimming pool. So standing next to the swimming pool in tracksuit and trainers, AND next to 3 similarly-attired local teachers seemed a better idea than skipping gate duty completely.

    Norton, you got an extra letter in there...

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    I cycled to school this morning, (as I normally do), wearing my training shoes, tracksuit trousers and yellow cycling vest
    so you were on gate duty representing the school looking like the local lollipop man

  8. #8
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Western men...the last ethnic group left that gets told what to wear at work.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat
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    so you were on gate duty representing the school looking like the local lollipop man
    Yep, I was promoting healthy exercise activities...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    Honestly, I think she would prefer me to cycle to work and the gym in a 3-piece suit and tie
    A liberal spraying of deep heat into those undercrackers you leave lying around the staffroom would buck your ideas up

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    Yep, I was promoting healthy exercise activities...
    so you were on gate duty representing the school looking like the local lollipop man

    You can lick it but you can't beat has always stood me in good stead.

    I feel you may be unable to utterly satisfy this lady in the mid-term, perhaps she's never had a real ham sandwich
    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    I just want the chance to use a bigger porridge bowl.

  12. #12
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    Did you conveniently forget to mention that with the red bottoms and yellow top, that you were actually sporting a red bandana too?

    A little birdie at the school captured your reaction.


  13. #13
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    Perhaps he's been "Furnished" with Elton John's Watford Strip, so handy for double shifts at BoogieKing or those Academic days as Rupert or Noddy

    Dumb as a box of rocks-watford-2014-2015-puma-home-football
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Dumb as a box of rocks-watford-2014-2015-puma-home-football  

  14. #14
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    does the school supply the box of rocks or do you bring your own?

  15. #15
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    I think you may have missed a trick or two. Firstly, you were not wearing a yellow vest but a maillot jaune, to celebrate the tour de France, which you were introducing into one of your lessons. The second trick would be the safety awareness of wearing a yellow top when cycling or riding a motorbike and how it has been proven to help save lives.

    You could have had her eating out of your hand and the whole school coming in yellow tops if you'd played your cards right.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    I cycled to school this morning, (as I normally do), wearing my training shoes, tracksuit trousers and yellow cycling vest.

    The school staff room is locked, because the cleaner has forgotten to unlock it and she is nowhere to be found.

    It's my day to do gate duty, next to the school swimming pool. I can't change into trousers and shirt, because these clothes are in the staff room. No problem I think, because my cycling clothes are clean and in any case, the kids are learning to swim in the pool, with 3 local teachers all dressed in tracksuit bottoms, training shoes and gym vests.

    I take my place and greet the students and parents. All is fine until the overweight school manager sees me. "Why aren't you wearing your trousers and shirt?" I explain the problem with the locked staff room and she grunts.

    5 minutes later, the school Headmistress spots me. "Why aren't you wearing your trousers and shirt?" I explain again. "Well, it doesn't look good" she says.

    I take a look at the 3 local teachers in their tracksuit gear and peer at her. "School rules say you must wear appropriate clothing at all times" she says.

    Honestly, I think she would prefer me to cycle to work and the gym in a 3-piece suit and tie.

    She and the school manager could both follow my example and get to the gym to lose a few pounds.....
    Lol. Reminds me of Peter Withe when he was the Thai national Football Team coach. Some stuffed-shirt Thai politico publicly criticized him for not wearing a 3-pc. suit while he was coaching the players.. He was removed from the job not long afterwards. (He was a neighbour to us when he coached the Rayong team a few years ago; top bloke with some great anecdotes over a beer or three also ).

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    So get a copy of the staff room key. Simples.

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