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Thread: Northern Tribes

  1. #1
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    david44's Avatar
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    Northern Tribes

    Northern Tribes


    Somewhat jaded by a constant treadmill , you know massage. ale ,a drab diet of Pie in a bucket , Poo ala Lulu Topperbuggers it was time for a trip North.


    We left the capital lat Friday night on the Great Northern Rattler booked via Summat Tours , As we dozed the great metrolopolis faded behind the train.


    After a couple of cheeky spliffs we tried the on board brekkie, White bread jam toast and a fruit.


    A vigourous rumpypumpy then lunch as the landscape gradually changed.
    Imperceptibly we climbed and distant green hills beckoned.


    Finally we drew into the capital of the North, great no side and strange accents.Was a tad grubby possibly due to a grime wave, Wai not.


    Our local guides Karl+Cyril were chomping at the bit there waiting and were almost intelligible with help of our Anglo Cartoy Phrase book.
    S/he suggested we check into their homostay relax and would meet us in the morning to head into the hills to meet the natives after an evening at Dave's Cafe and like Roy boxing arena , where we were assured there was to be beer and tarts.


    The Top Gob Hotel
    A 3 star room wasn't bad though dearer than expected, exhausted I fell asleep under the nong.Awoken by the trains I tried one of the snacks in the brand new barren mini-bar a big mistake, dessicant sachets taste like a Dilly's cage.


    After brekkie we went by Toyota van with our driver who loved Karaoke a Mr Sing who promised to take us for a curry later to his family restuarnt the
    Flat You Lent Appartment.


    Our base was oddly named Tod, where the bright cheery little people waved as we dismounted and bowed, the local children laughed clutching paper bags to their mouths.


    So into the hills.
    No sooner than you could say lets's get weaving than a little brown girl offered us some "Spice" and assured us her brother could get us all the gear necessary.


    The rains arrived turning the alleys to mud and herds of lean skinny cows mooed in the distance, an omen of steak supper? Despite the shabby hovels the people were friendly and some of them may have bathed.




    After many twists and turns we reache Ma Lhamtarn and wondered how the gnarled old crones had eked at a spartan existence in harmony with nature and the gods.


    My partner camedown with shopping withdrawla syndrome so we air evacuated from Leeds/Bradford to the calm civilization of Croydon.


    I'll be going back soon maybe even the couthless Mumberland and the wild extremes where the men wear skirts everyday and not just on randy days. so Begbie awa
    Dave and Nong were guests of Virgin Derail and TrussHouseFarty
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  2. #2
    'ello 'ello 'ello Luigi's Avatar
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    Was hopping for some titties.

  3. #3
    I'm in Jail

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    I must be well pissed.
    I understood that , well done Dave

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