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  1. #51
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slick
    I don't see anything wrong with corpral punishment, or giving a kid a smack.
    I don't either but with our daughter it doesn't work. We have to just ride out the storm and she usually calms down after while.

  2. #52
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by YourDaddy
    This is why I watch porn
    Also why you are thinking of divorce? Not ready for any responsibility?

    There's an argument that it's having kids that is irresponsible, of course.

  3. #53
    Thailand Expat Slick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic
    I don't either but with our daughter it doesn't work. We have to just ride out the storm and she usually calms down after while.
    Does she screech ungodly loud & stuff?

  4. #54
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    aging one's Avatar
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    if you are is Serb in Thailand.

  5. #55
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slick
    Does she screech ungodly loud & stuff?
    Yep. Throws herself on the floor and accuses her mother of not loving her.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic
    Yep. Throws herself on the floor and accuses her mother of not loving her.
    tape her on your phone, upload it to your computer and let her see it. Parents have new tools today. Let her actually see what she is doing. I am being polite, because right now she holds the power not you as parents.

  7. #57
    Thailand Expat Slick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic
    Yep. Throws herself on the floor and accuses her mother of not loving her.
    Sure reeks of mommy giving in to it. A learned behavior. Coddling.

    By brother used to hold his breath during a meltdown to the point of turning blue and everyone worrying he would do permanent damage

    Still got ignored.

  8. #58
    Thailand Expat Slick's Avatar
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    From what ive seen of Thai mothers, they coddle & do whatever the child wants so itll shut up.

    Ive also heard them say that they have to because the child "will not love them anymore" and "will not take care of them" or some such.

    There was this little bully brat kid on the street near my old house. I used to play soccer with them. He would bully other kids and the parents would giggle like it was cute. Pushing kids to the ground & stuff. One day he ran up and power ranger punched me right in the dick and I instinctively smacked him. The parents were pissed and I couldn't understand it. Not really proud, it just happened. He wailed and cried and made a scene and the mom ran out like I hit him with a hammer.

    Im thinking "bish your kid makes these other little kinds cry on a daily basis, he punched an adult in the dick got slapped, and now youre mad at me?" But I just apologized. Same kid likes to running soccer kick sleeping street dogs then laugh.

    Basically I have no idea about kids so there you go

  9. #59
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one
    tape her on your phone, upload it to your computer and let her see it.
    I've threatened her with that. Told her I'm going show her teacher and school friends.
    I'll get around to video it one day soon and see what happens. Doubt I'll show her teacher and friends though.

  10. #60
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slick
    From what ive seen of Thai mothers, they coddle & do whatever the child wants so itll shut up.
    Yes I've seen it often. Thais reward bad behaviour when out in public. Always the easy option I think.

  11. #61
    Harbinger of Doom

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    Yes I've seen it often. Thais reward bad behaviour when out in public. Always the easy option I think.
    Experiences will always differ, I guess, but over the time which I have lived in Thailand, I haven't seen noticeably worse behaviour by Thai parents than English ones, and Thai children are usually better behaved than their English counterparts (at least in terms of not having uncontrollable meltdowns in public.)

  12. #62
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Personally, I've never come into contact with kids that are a greater pleasure to deal with than Thai kids.

    Japanese kids come close.

    Worst...Indian.

    Next worst...Arab.

  13. #63
    กงเกวียนกำเกวียน HuangLao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Passing Through View Post
    Yes I've seen it often. Thais reward bad behaviour when out in public. Always the easy option I think.
    Experiences will always differ, I guess, but over the time which I have lived in Thailand, I haven't seen noticeably worse behaviour by Thai parents than English ones, and Thai children are usually better behaved than their English counterparts (at least in terms of not having uncontrollable meltdowns in public.)

    My observations, as well.
    Thai children are less prone to have hissy fits, tantrums or meltdowns - public or private. Not written in their social/behavioral/cultural hardwiring.

    In discussions of this sort, one might expect those chosen and superior types to explore any rare example to justify and extend their biased political/social agendas and promote the "more civilised than them" factor.

    All too predictable.

  14. #64
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    I was sent to my room, and not to come out until I had calmed down.

    My mother also knew that "special" place on the back of the thigh that a quick slap would sting for ages. I don't remember my Dad ever spanking us, but he had a scary voice!! When he shouted...!!

    I noticed years later that my brothers kid would actually go to his room without being asked!!

  15. #65
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    The obvious solution is to wind down the car windows put him on the roof face down head towards the boot.Secure his hands and feet by winding the windows backup, not to tight to restrict blood circulation but secure enough so he doesn't fall off the roof.
    Another job well done by Father Jack carry on drinking in peace and let the driver enjoy the silence.
    Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas priests... more drink!

  16. #66
    Thailand Expat
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    Very much playing to the camera, which doesn't help.

    Basic diet of sticky rice and pla ra for a week will cool him down a little. No car journeys, make him walk everywhere under 2 miles and bus if further. It will be hard for parents but both need a lesson.

    My grand niece is difficult but she's learnt nothing works with me.

  17. #67
    Thailand Expat David48atTD's Avatar
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    Firstly, my sympathy to Pragmatic, my kids aren't as old as yours, so I haven't personally faced the issue you talk about.

    I'm surprised that some of the TELFER's here on the Forum haven't chimed in with some advice.


    With Kids, I'm old school. No means no.
    Magic words open doors.
    Please
    and thank you.

    Apologising when wrong.

    Crying doesn't work with me kids. Cry if you are hurt or sad ... but crying to try and get what you want doesn't work.

    When they were younger, occasionally they would get smacked, but almost never now.
    But never will I ask the boys to come to me, and then get smacked.
    They never 'fear' coming to Dad.

    Be consistent.

    I tell my kids daily that I love them.
    When they do something 'jai dee', I tell them I'm proud of them.

    Lots of Hugs and always a kiss good night.
    Bla bla bla ...
    Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago ...


  18. #68
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Maanaam View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Maanaam View Post
    Look deeper.
    Before or after thumping her?
    Obviously before if it a case of something other than learnt behaviour.
    I take it you don't approve of thumping for simple playing up in a spoiled way?
    Make your case instead of making sarcastic comments.
    It just seems an odd mix.

    'Looking deeper' after thumping a kid.

    I'd be doing the first thing, and very reluctant to do the second.

    You're talking like a child psychologist after advocating a 'heavy thump'.

    Quite unusual.
    Your non-comprehension is shown by you conflating two separate posts. I didn't say "thump then look deeper". I said thump in one post and look deeper in another; two separate pieces of advice that I expected to be contemplated individually.
    Only the parent knows what the situation is off camera or off-thread, and it may call for a whack, or maybe it calls for looking at an underlying cause.
    Nobody here has advocated looking deeper than the child being spoiled by mum or grandma yet it is true that some kids' bad behaviour stems from either a psychological or emotional condition, or an outside factor. Take the OP brat. Is he a brat or is he genuinely scared of where he is being taken? Does he simply want to stay at home to watch the Flintstones or is he deadly frightened of his molester teacher (for example)? Or does he have a condition such as Asperger's? Maybe undiagnosed.
    If he's a brat, thump him. But be sure to be sure.

  19. #69
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by David48atTD
    Crying doesn't work with me kids. Cry if you are hurt or sad ... but crying to try and get what you want doesn't work.
    Yep.
    I got thrashed by Dad occasionally and smacked by Mum a fair bit. Never, never would crying work, in fact it would have the opposite effect of getting them madder.
    With my daughter, there were symbolic smacks on the hand when she was little but she was basically a good child and didn't need much discipline at all. With my son, there were three good wallops on the bum in safety issues (like running on the road), all before he was 6. Never since. It, and talking honestly with them on all behaviour issues worked.

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