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  1. #1
    I'm a pain in the arse
    Immigrunt's Avatar
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    Tricks to play on Thais

    Suggestions?

    One of mine is, when I'm shopping and one of them starts speaking to me in pidgin style English (likely assuming I'm a tourist) I respond to them in Thai, and firstly apologise that I can't understand them, then explain that I can only speak Thai, not English. The confusion shown on their faces can be hilarious

  2. #2
    Harbinger of Doom

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    Why do you lie so much, Smeg?

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    It's his ego that constantly needs reassurance. No one on here believes a word he says.

  4. #4
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by Immigrunt View Post
    Suggestions?

    One of mine is, when I'm shopping and one of them starts speaking to me in pidgin style English (likely assuming I'm a tourist) I respond to them in Thai, and firstly apologise that I can't understand them, then explain that I can only speak Thai, not English. The confusion shown on their faces can be hilarious
    I would think the confusion showing on their face results from the fact they have just realized they are out shopping with an utter prick.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Immigrunt View Post
    Suggestions?
    Say something absolutely truthful, from the heart and even warm..

    It'll blow their minds.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
    aging one's Avatar
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    Damn this is actually getting painful...


  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    why on earth would you want to play tricks on thais?

    what is to be gained?

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by hick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Immigrunt View Post
    Suggestions?
    Say something absolutely truthful, from the heart and even warm..

    It'll blow their minds.

    Oh, and since you're a linguistics expert and genius - say it in Tai-Kadai with a little sprinkling of Shan.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one View Post
    Damn this is actually getting painful...

    The painful thing is that the more he tries to appear otherwise...:cringe:

    I guess this is the kind of social disconnect that has sparked all of his Walter Mitty style online personae.

  10. #10
    I'm a pain in the arse
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    they are out shopping
    I'm talking about trades people and merchants I encounter, idiot. It'd be a weird conversation to have with a friend.

    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post
    why on earth would you want to play tricks on thais?

    what is to be gained?
    They sure as hell laugh at you when the opportunity arises, and the number of goofball westerner bit part actors they have on lakorns is staggering. If you can't beat em'......

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post
    why on earth would you want to play tricks on thais?

    what is to be gained?
    First you have to accept that shop girls are not the brightest on the planet.

    Secondly, you have to realise that even they've worked out that Smeg is a fucking wanker.


  12. #12
    I'm a pain in the arse
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    Feeling sorry for them harry? It'll do them good to have a break from using the rusty cog that clicks in their brain when they spot a farang.

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat cyrille's Avatar
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    Let's just hope they have the sense to spot that you are an egregious aberration.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    Let's just hope they have the sense to spot that you are an egregious aberration.
    I doubt he speaks enough Thai to know that they're taking piss of him.


  15. #15
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Immigrunt View Post
    Suggestions?

    One of mine is, when I'm shopping and one of them starts speaking to me in pidgin style English (likely assuming I'm a tourist) I respond to them in Thai, and firstly apologise that I can't understand them, then explain that I can only speak Thai, not English. The confusion shown on their faces can be hilarious
    It's not really a trick, is it? They will know straight away that your first language is not Thai because your attempt at Thai is probably no better than their attempt at English. Still, it will give them something to chuckle about (a crazy farang).

  16. #16
    I'm a pain in the arse
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    ^^ Me? Pretty much fluent now, and I'm one of the few that's perfected the tones and accent. People on the phone have no idea i'm not Thai until I tell them.

  17. #17
    R.I.P.
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    I speak to them in 4th Century Macedonian Greek while juggling chainsaws and puppies on my unicycle and solving mathematical problems shouted at me by my entourage of Nobel prize-winning physicists. I will also heal any illnesses they have and, if they ask using proper accent and tones, will raise any recently deceased relatives from the dead.
    The Above Post May Contain Strong Language, Flashing Lights, or Violent Scenes.

  18. #18
    lom
    lom is offline
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    I don't speak to them, that's for my butler to do.

  19. #19
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Immigrunt View Post
    ^^ Me? Pretty much fluent now, and I'm one of the few that's perfected the tones and accent.
    Which accent have you perfected?

  20. #20
    'ello 'ello 'ello Luigi's Avatar
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    That's Nev going on his imaginary ignore list.

  21. #21
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by Immigrunt View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    they are out shopping
    I'm talking about trades people and merchants I encounter, idiot. It'd be a weird conversation to have with a friend.
    You are right. My bad for assuming you had friends.

    I should have said when they realized they were dealing with an utter cock.

  22. #22
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    I'm greatly impressed that Smeg has learnt Thai so well that he now sounds like a Thai. And all done from the UK, Portugal and Taiwan. Bladdy awesome. Unbelievable. If he'd just start using the farang word, people might believe him. I bet he loves spicy food too. ao tam thai kap, sai prik saam met.
    Nev has style

  23. #23
    Harbinger of Doom

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Immigrunt View Post
    ^^ Me? Pretty much fluent now, and I'm one of the few that's perfected the tones and accent.
    Which accent have you perfected?
    All of them.

  24. #24
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    Excellent. Perhaps he will start a new teaching Thai thread - How to speak Thai and master the tones and accents of Thailand.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    It's not really a trick, is it? They will know straight away that your first language is not Thai because your attempt at Thai is probably no better than their attempt at English. Still, it will give them something to chuckle about (a crazy farang).
    You didn't know smog was effluent? He picks simple shit up so easily.

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