Thread: Teak Door Humorous Quotes ...

From Dillinger's Healthy-ish meals threads.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Tried to poach an egg

Originally Posted by tomcat

...looks like the egg may have misunderstood...

Referring to YD's revolving door of women ...

Originally Posted by Neverna

I wonder if she'll dump you again this eveing after using your body for her short-time enjoyment.

Dillinger (again)

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

Lamb, sprouts, celery and potato soup with a fresh crispy bread roll..
Attachment 38674

Perfectomundo!

Originally Posted by Dillinger

I take it back about these small pics

Originally Posted by somtamslap

lamb's liver (pound for pound the most nutrient dense foodstuff on the planet)

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

Cheers for the tip, shall check it out.

Originally Posted by aging one

Please prepare it eat it and don't share a photo.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Seconded

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Don't listen to that baloney from Slapper mate. There's far more nutrients in Salmon and it hasn't been full of piss all its life, unlike that liver, your good self and Slaps in Thailand

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

That's you pair crossed of my dinner party invite list

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Yay. Woo hooo!!!

Ah ... the good 'ole days

Originally Posted by MarilynMonroe

... many people putting me down personally and my job down.
No one else is treated that way on this forum

Really?

^Glad I made someone smile today. lol

Oldie, but a goodee ...

Originally Posted by baldrick

2 wee scottish cnuts invented copper wire when they were fighting over a penny

Not a 'quote', but credit to Kitty Kat for this one.

Pick the Multis ...

Originally Posted by Luigi

Me, myself, I +1

^ that bloke Lulu is leering at, its Betty ain't it.

Sorry Chico ...

Originally Posted by Plan B

Did you know Panama Hat is an anagram of Mad Hatter?

Originally Posted by lom

No I didn't, please explain.

Originally Posted by Plan B

It is if you spell like Chico.

Originally Posted by lom

^

A first entry from Mendip

Referring to Member's wives and their varying culinary skills ...

Originally Posted by Mendip

^ Count your blessings... I've got very used to a 'no' item dinner 7 days a week.!

Originally Posted by Headworx

Likewise. We get along really well, but the only thing my Missus can make for dinner is a reservation

Originally Posted by Mendip

^ My wife's cooking is so bad we pray after the meal!

Started by nidhogg, the whole thread is a good read ... Yeah, you know, my bad

Originally Posted by dirk diggler

Turns out the 'drunken chicken' is a translation of 'kee mao' and that shit left me with an arse like the Japanese flag.

With skiddies ...

More a Truism than Humorous ... but made me smile ...

Originally Posted by Mendip

... married life ain't for enjoying but for getting through as painlessly as possible.

Originally Posted by Mendip

Look... I'm pretty well pissed off tonight and I just drew a Hitler mustache on a photo of the wife we have downstairs....

Originally Posted by Headworx

If you hold a fork up close to your face and look at your wife through it, the illusion she's in jail brings some husbands temporary relief.

Follow me for more relationship advice

.....

Originally Posted by Stumpy

Why do you brits like your dinners a sloppy mess? Canned syrupy beans, mash with gravy and some canned veggies.

Why don't you skip the plate program and put it all in a blender on "Frappe" and call it a day. Just suck your dinner up through a straw....

Originally Posted by hallelujah

*All* Brits? You know there are a fair few million of us? And no plate containing gravy could ever be called a mess! Let's get that straight right away!

Anyway, Dil doesn't have any teeth. How else is he supposed to eat?

Originally Posted by Stumpy

Ok. Sorry for the generalizations Hal. I should say You British TD posters.

To me it all looks like a meal that should be blended. The plates I see all the servings are liquidous and run together. Wouldn't a Blender be easier?

.....

Originally Posted by malmomike77

less chewing and less chance of damaging our lovely teeth

Originally Posted by Stumpy

I thought you were gonna say it helps with hair loss and that pasty white look...

Originally Posted by malmomike77

Oh no, its warm beer that helps with that

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Anyway, Dil doesn't have any teeth. How else is he supposed to eat?

Originally Posted by Mendip

Aah... that explains why he's so popular with the other drivers.

On 'ya Mendy

Originally Posted by Joe 90

My favourite bit of kit in the kitchen is my dry airfryer

Originally Posted by Reg Dingle

The best piece of kit in your kitchen is the fukkin smoke alarm

Quite a few enjoyed that one.

Originally Posted by Joe 90

She did confirm her 2 year celebracy

Originally Posted by hallelujah

It sounds like it's probably scabbed over by now anyway.

Originally Posted by Mendip

^ You'd be surprised Hal. I haven't worn an earring for years but last week I still managed to stick a paperclip through the hole.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

I reckon this is an appropriate euphemism for Joe.

Originally Posted by Joe 90

More like chucking a kit bag in the back of a 3 tonner.

Context on some of these would be interesting but are probably better left alone

Originally Posted by panama hat

Context on some of these would be interesting but are probably better left alone

Joe69's dating thread

As I said . . . better left alone . . .