Thread: Teak Door Humorous Quotes ...

Originally Posted by somtamslap

And as for you... I've got an accumulating pile of spunk sodden tissues down the side of my bed capable of more stimulating conversation.

Amusing if not rib-tickling ...

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

which one did you marry?

My dad was so racist he wouldn't let me marry anyone outside the family
.

I was gob smacked with that reply.
Didn't reply as I couldn't be sure if he was taking the piss or serious.
I actually think he's serious.

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

I'm not some low life tourist wanting to buy some elephant pants for 300baht.

I'm a sophisticated world traveler privy to the proper prices

. ...

^ 555...Finally had a look here...Thought it would surely be another twisted mess of "gunfights"...

Keep 'em coming, David...

Originally Posted by David48atTD

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

I'm not some low life tourist wanting to buy some elephant pants for 300baht.

I'm a sophisticated world traveler privy to the proper prices

. ...

Saw that too and I actually think he really believes that of himself.

What a fukin retard.

Replying in Fluke's thread ...

Originally Posted by Thedogsbollix

Did you ever stop to consider Sport Wanking may of been a better avenue for you to go down. ?

That way you would of only lost the skin on ya cock eh.

.

^ Sounds like someone's "speaking" from experience...

Originally Posted by Dillinger

One capful next time

.....

This short interchange on Za's thread made me smile ...

Referring to SP's choice of food purchase ... https://teakdoor.com/3570031-post1770.html

Originally Posted by chassamui

For the same price, I had a takeaway Chicken roast Sunday dinner. It was so big, I had to put half in the fridge for tomorrow. The chef even put 2 Yorkshire puddings on it.
Win, win, win.

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Ordered three Chinese hookers to my room once.

Win, Win & Win

Originally Posted by chassamui

What a pity they all had the same name.

.

^Perhaps he put one in the fridge for tomorrow?

I blame the regime in Hua Hin which is at best somnolent and hardly conducive to a chap keeping on his toes whereas we sprightly, thrusting senior chappies billeted in the maelstrom of urban cut and thrust living that is Pattaya are honed to intellectual razor sharpness on the zeitgeist of the moment!



The Gent

Originally Posted by tomcat

Originally Posted by patsycat

Since i started that "régime" i've put on a kilo since last week!!

I may be able to offer a number of helpful hints for immediate and sustained weight gain...
.

Did make me

Intelligent stalking, a rarity:

Originally Posted by AndyCap

I just saw you were thread hopping like myself this morning, thought I'd try to cross pollinate

Yeah that was about me ^

A member, so often in the spotlight ...

Originally Posted by baldrick

Originally Posted by Luigi

Lulu Long Schlong

If you make the news one of these days I will petition for the headline

Lulu, so long , schlong

Originally Posted by David48atTD

A member, so often in the spotlight ...

Yeah... Baldy is a bit of an attention whore.

Originally Posted by Nicethaiza

goodbye.. I swear ... I will never post here again!
BYE!

Originally Posted by 12Call

Originally Posted by Maanaam

Can't quote it because it was removed (I think). Some will surely remember it.
Capt Nemo castigating another member, describing his brain as the ooze that seeped down the member's mother's leg after she had had group sex with a bunch of retarded spastics, filling her every hole, in a crack house.

I wish the Captain would write it again, but this time not aim it at a member's mother so as to make sure it's not deleted.

It's not a fcukin quote then is it ?

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Originally Posted by CaptainNemo

You are an infinite fractal of fucking idiots merged into a singularity of cretinous sludge, the best of which ran down your mother's flabby pustulous leg, when she was being scuttered up every hole by a writhing gang of genetically damaged chavvy cross-eyed chinless dregs of human waste holed up in an abandoned crack house.

Presentation: 8/10
Content: 10/10
Entertainment Value: 10/10

It is now, but don't quote me on that.

Heh...Needs just a bit of work on the presentation, according to HarryCuda...

I'm sure there are many others from me and many others lurking on the forum, but it would take some dedication to find them because of the lack of any kind of tagging.

Good one:

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

It is a surprising fact for most that a human being shares 50% of their DNA with a banana but when one reads your posts it somehow begins to make perfect sense.

Originally Posted by al007

I feed the wife a lot of fruit so she stays regular

Not tried the Immigration Officials breed but always keep an open mind, some are very delectable and quite tasty

Hummm ...


But recovered with ...

Originally Posted by al007

I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and said to my friend,"That'll be us in ten years."

He turned to me and said, "That's a mirror, you dumb shit."

Originally Posted by CaptainNemo

Originally Posted by 12Call

Originally Posted by Maanaam

Can't quote it because it was removed (I think). Some will surely remember it.
Capt Nemo castigating another member, describing his brain as the ooze that seeped down the member's mother's leg after she had had group sex with a bunch of retarded spastics, filling her every hole, in a crack house.

I wish the Captain would write it again, but this time not aim it at a member's mother so as to make sure it's not deleted.

It's not a fcukin quote then is it ?

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Originally Posted by CaptainNemo

You are an infinite fractal of fucking idiots merged into a singularity of cretinous sludge, the best of which ran down your mother's flabby pustulous leg, when she was being scuttered up every hole by a writhing gang of genetically damaged chavvy cross-eyed chinless dregs of human waste holed up in an abandoned crack house.

Presentation: 8/10
Content: 10/10
Entertainment Value: 10/10

It is now, but don't quote me on that.

Thanks. Timeless classic.

Referring to the Forum's Cabbage Removal Service for crimes against posting photos of public transport/cheap food or those sad pidgin English love texts (thanks Dill for the defination)

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Ooh look....Punty has a vulnerable cabbage

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

Got all the cabbages i need

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

That's called "acne", potato-head.

Ole SP is an easy target sometimes