Thread: The super-duper, splendid and tremendous adventures of Malcolm in Thailand

Haven't we been down this road before only to find ourselves left high and dry in the middle of the story? I hope this one has a resolution.

Originally Posted by Cujo

Your readers await with baited breath.

the trick pleaser's guile, the haul mark of the pro

This Malcolm chap seems to have led a sheltered life thus far, so pleased the twat made the spontaneous decision to book a trip to the land of smiles, really hoping he meets a bird called noi. Or lek Who will subtlety introduce him to the delights of of Lao khao drinking at sparrow fart in the morning, and issan culinary delights,

Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker

This Malcolm chap seems to have led a sheltered life thus far, so pleased the twat made the spontaneous decision to book a trip to the land of smiles, really hoping he meets a bird called noi. Or lek Who will subtlety introduce him to the delights of of Lao khao drinking at sparrow fart in the morning, and issan culinary delights,

A "sheltered life" is such a kind way to put it. In California we'd call such a person a slob or a leech with his future prospects being limited: ie. an alchi, homeless, druggie twat sleeping under a bridge and pushing a shopping cart full of his possessions all day looking for bottles to redeem to pay for his next bottle of cheep vodka. Just a little future food for thought, Somtam. Certainly the guy can get out of town once in his life, eh? Why not L.A. where he gets stuck under a bridge?

Where online is Malcolm getting hints or tips from?
Shouldn't he ease himself to the dating scene by organising a few beforehand?
That way he won't just fade into some dark Pattaya soi, only to emerge a few days later in a regretful scenario

Mal cum Mal go , it's all in the prequel

Les Fleurs du Mal, a bicycle seat sniffer has Daff O'Dill experiences in pre Trump France

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fleurs-du-Ma.../dp/2210754461

Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker

Or lek Who will subtlety introduce him to the delights of of Lao khao drinking at sparrow fart in the morning, and issan culinary delights

I'm quite sure that something similar to this will transpire.

Originally Posted by Sumbitch

Why not L.A.

Because it wasn't advertised in the travel agent window. Malcolm is a recluse - and at present has little notion of the third world. Or getting fucked up. Malcolm is yet to get fucked up. But, hey, let's face it - Malcolm will shortly be getting fucking laruped on every form of brain altering chemical known to man.

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Where online is Malcolm getting hints or tips from?

Thai visa and TD I believe. I think he has an account on here.

Other than having intimate moments on his own has Malcolm ever had his wang in a girls woo who

Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker

Or lek Who will subtlety introduce him

Jayzuz wept, ferfoksayk enroll on an English course, oafy.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

But, hey, let's face it - Malcolm will shortly be getting fucking laruped on every form of brain altering chemical known to man.

Yeah, looking forward to that part of the story big time.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

bought two rolls of gaffer tape, a large aluminium garden waste bin, and a wooden mallet.

To wax somewhat David44-ish...(though never as well)

Bang bang Malcolm's wooden hammer came down upon his head,
Bang bang Malcolm's wooden hammer made sure he was dead.

^ I'll try to spark slap's imagination with a non-fiction tale. MyMan, were you here when David44 was virtually treated as ex-con (yes he has been to jail)? His reputation was way more in line with the number of posts he had made, not near so many outlandish cabbages as today. But even then his vast army of fans were pushing to make a mod out of him. So we do know what he is like deep down and he hasn't changed either. It's a joy to see he's received the recognition he has deserved.

Originally Posted by Sumbitch

I'll try to spark slap's imagination with a non-fiction tale

yes..

A LETTER TO THE BULLETIN
HENRY LAWSON

Dear Bulletin,
I’m awfully surprised to find myself sober. And, being sober, I take up my pen to write a few lines, hoping they will find you as well as I am at present. I want to know a few things. In the first place: Why does a man get drunk? There seems to be no excuse for it. I get drunk because I’m in trouble, and I get drunk because I’ve got out of it. I get drunk because I am sick, or have corns, or the toothache: and I get drunk because I’m feeling well and grand. I got drunk because I was rejected; and I got awfully drunk the night I was accepted. And, mind you, I don’t like to get drunk at all, because I don’t enjoy it much, and suffer hell afterwards. I’m always far better and happier when I’m sober, and tea tastes better than beer. But I get drunk. I get drunk when I feel that I want a drink, and I get drunk when I don’t. I get drunk because I had a row last night and made a fool of myself and it worries me, and when things are fixed up I get drunk to celebrate it. And, mind you, I’ve got no craving for drink. I get drunk because I’m frightened about things, and because I don’t care a damn. Because I’m hard up and because I’m flush. And, somehow, I seem to have better luck when I’m drunk. I don’t think the mystery of drunkenness will ever be explained—until all things are explained, and that will be never. A friend says that we don’t drink to feel happier, but to feel less miserable. But I don’t feel miserable when I’m straight. Perhaps I’m not perfectly sober just now, after all. I’ll go and get a drink, and write again later.

^ who wrote dat? i see: henri lawson. Don't recognize the name. the guy that got whacked in Hua Hin? That is a good read.

Originally Posted by Sumbitch

Don't recognize the name

he is strayan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Lawson

^^ Brings to mind Clancy of The Overflow.

Originally Posted by baldrick

he is strayan

Same as use, more or less, aye? I'm across it.

So I take it our latest member, malcolm in a muddle, who says he is running away from Richmond upon Thames, is an imposter!

TeakDoor.com - The Thailand Forum - View Profile: malcolm in a muddle

Malcolm? Here? On TD?

And there was me thinking he was a fictional character.

How unusual.

Part two of the tale is en route.

So which came first, your Malcolm story or his first joining and posting.
This will tell us if you have a follower.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Malcolm? Here? On TD?

Malcolmtents pitch up everywhere as you know from scouting for boys