Thread: Random post of the day

Post your random thoughts pics etc here when you're not sure where to post it otherwise.
Saw this on craigslist.
I REALLY want to tweak those nipples.

PROFESSIONAL POKEMON GO TRAINER $20/hr
1
About me: Also known as 'Golbat-chan' on sites like 4chan and imgur, I am a 24-year-old lifelong Pokemon enthusiast who wants to help YOU become the very best.

My services are simple: I will walk around in 1-4 hour shifts signed in to your account capturing every single Pokemon I come into contact with, activating every Poke Stop I pass and walking nonstop to help hatch your eggs. I'll even send you hourly updates while you're at work/class/on a hot date informing you of any really exciting things I've come across for you. Pokemon training help, gym battles and strategy tips are also included, if requested.

About me: I'm a white female, NYU grad, and a well-employed freelance journalist with a massive Golbat tattoo on my arm. I have been playing Pokemon (both cards and gameboy/DS) since 1997 and Pokemon GO since its opening day. I'm in between major projects and have a lot of spare time on my hands right now and also may or may not write an article about this in the future. Personally, I am a level 15 trainer in Pokemon GO right now and control all of the gyms near my place. I know what I'm doing. For more info about me (and to see that I am, in fact, a real human being) check out the VICE article that has been written about me and my obsession.

?Gotta Catch 'Em All: Meet the Tattoo Artist Tattooing the 151 Original Pokémon | VICE | United States

Details: I currently own an iPhone 6s, several portable chargers and am in very good physical fitness. Spending hours on my feet is not an issue. I will sign into your account (which, hopefully you weren't a total noob and used a fake gmail address when you signed up for this app because the surveillance is real) and treat your account like it is my very own. I will catch them all. I will focus in on catching specific types of Pokemon (i.e. fire, water, electric) if you want. I'll even send you silly screenshots so you don't feel too much FOMO while you're doing something that prevents you from accessing PokeWorld.

Every exchange will begin with an in-person consultation at your nearest poke stop. No creepy stuff. I know how to defend myself and will not take any bullshit from you.

Send your name, age, occupation, area of the city you are hoping to obtain my services and a link to something that can prove to me that you are a real human being. If I can confirm your identity (remember: I'm a journalist and very good at this) I will get back to you to set up an appointment.

best of craigslist: PROFESSIONAL POKEMON GO TRAINER $20/hr

I've spent an inordinate amount of time today thinking about cookies.

Oatmeal 'n raisin cookies to be precise.

Got a text from my six year old (today) granddaughter advising me that her baby sister was sick. "She got weasals".

This was eventually translated to measles.

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Got a text from my six year old (today) granddaughter advising me that her baby sister was sick. "She got weasals".

This was eventually translated to measles.

I believe I might have a bone spur in my right foot.

How does one remedy this painful plight without surgery?

Heel yerself the power of the mind over the matrix, the pain is part of the growth and conditioning.

If you are affected by the tissues in this please see a Smegologist

I'd call it tomorrows soup if it were in China.

Had to go to the US embassy today. They had a TV on the wall with Fox News.Really pissed me off. Other than that, a nice time in Bangkok.

Originally Posted by thaimeme

I believe I might have a bone spur in my right foot.

How does one remedy this painful plight without surgery?

The traditional way - start by drinking two bottles of whisky, find a good friend and a recently sharpened instrument, then let nature lead the way.


Good luck.

Originally Posted by PAG

I'm going to put forward 'Loy Toy' as a tribute to his pies.

You've hit the muffalode

A PIE THAT DELIVERS ITSELF

It's not definitely a bone spur until its been properly diagnosed by a doctor....not by yourself.

Could be fasciitis...

Heel Spur Causes, Symptoms, Treatments, and Surgery

Originally Posted by Latindancer

It's not definitely a bone spur until its been properly diagnosed by a doctor....not by yourself.

Could be fasciitis...

Heel Spur Causes, Symptoms, Treatments, and Surgery

Faciitis. David will have a ball with that.

Originally Posted by thaimeme

I believe I might have a bone spur in my right foot.

How does one remedy this painful plight without surgery?

Urine therapy, shivambu! Works like a charm!

Aged urine compresses directly on the foot. It works, no shit!

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

Originally Posted by thaimeme

I believe I might have a bone spur in my right foot.

How does one remedy this painful plight without surgery?

Urine therapy, shivambu! Works like a charm!

Aged urine compresses directly on the foot. It works, no shit!

Well that's a relief.

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

Originally Posted by thaimeme

I believe I might have a bone spur in my right foot.

How does one remedy this painful plight without surgery?

Urine therapy, shivambu! Works like a charm!

Aged urine compresses directly on the foot. It works, no shit!

Beginning to research alternatives - seems as message and other similar treatments might achieve some success.

Fascinating to learn the causes and healing process associated.

Tendons, calcium deposits, etc....

Can be cured, in time, with proper alternative healing techniques.

Define "proper" alternative healing techniques, please Jeff

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Define "proper" alternative healing techniques, please Jeff

Without allopathic practices of butchery and pharmaceuticals.
Backward cvnts.

Originally Posted by thaimeme

seems as message and other similar treatments

copropostfacistisismjism a rare case of paranormal postal sinned rome

Originally Posted by thaimeme

I believe I might have a bone spur in my right

Bone spurs are a fabrication of [Western] centric idealism of mandatory foot sufferage, promulgated by the cartel orientated ideas of neo-septicism.

Free yourself through [radicalised] mandalas.

You know it makes sense, in terms of neo-colonialism.

^Indubitably.

There are an alarming amount of cats that have randomly appeared on the roof of my apartment block. Myanmar can be surreal at times.

Originally Posted by Pregomeister

There are an alarming amount of cats that have randomly appeared on the roof of my apartment block. Myanmar can be surreal at times.

Catnip growing up there?

Originally Posted by Pregomeister

cats that have randomly appeared

Dear Pussymonger we share you sensimillivity
The earths Mognatism may have aligned your chakras along a FeLINE