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Thread: Ask The Chef

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    Ask The Chef

    Hi and welcome to the Ask the Chef thread.

    If you have a genuine question about Cooking,here is your very own resident Chef(s)

    Are there any other poorly paid, burger flipping Expat Chefs on the Board.? if so you have to be a trained Chef,not one of these numpty google searching toss pots that thinks he can turn his hand to anything regarding cooking,just with a quick Google search.

    I haven't really posted many comments about the Abominations in some of the cookery threads,but please feel free to post link or post photo that you want reviewed.though it has to be your own cookery effort.

    Any tips or advice you want please fire way.

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    *yawn*...

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    Is it a type of meat.?

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    ^ your supposed to be the top chef

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    Dear Chico.


    How long should i cook my Heinz baked beans in the microwave to achieve the "right" amount of heat before applying them to my testicles?

    The reason i ask, the last time my pubic hair went curlier and broke off into said beans, and both sex and breakfast with the next doors dog went tits up, and i think that full power for fifteen minutes may have been a tad to long.


    Whilst we're on it, is oregano on shrivelled testicles a suitable substitute for fresh mint leaves?

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    Barry you should remember we're all learning constantly, i was just asking Cs if he was referring to a type of meat,I never came across this Food term before.

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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Dear Chico.


    How long should i cook my Heinz baked beans in the microwave to achieve the "right" amount of heat before applying them to my testicles?

    The reason i ask, the last time my pubic hair went curlier and broke off into said beans, and both sex and breakfast with the next doors dog went tits up, and i think that full power for fifteen minutes may have been a tad to long.


    Whilst we're on it, is oregano on shrivelled testicles a suitable substitute for fresh mint leaves?
    Dear With. I would recommend that to get the best results I would suggest Putting the Beans on full power for around 30mins without opening the tin,around about that time they should be at the acquired Temp, or possibly you have just be blown straight through the kitchen window.

    Good luck hope you find the tip useful.

    I would propose using Garlic under the foreskin as your no doubt pushing on in years,it may well help with the odour.
    Last edited by Chico; 24-10-2016 at 01:13 AM.

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    * brawn*

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    You could be onto a winner there Barry,Pigs head he could of been referring to, Though i believe he does a mean Mexican buffet.
    Last edited by Chico; 24-10-2016 at 01:13 AM.

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    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    I have a male corpse in my place that I've just freshly sodomised and killed and I fancy a curry, but am too bloodstained to venture out.

    How would I go about locating the best cuts? spare ribs is tempting
    Should I shave the hair off the arse cheeks before seasoning?



    Or should I just spit roast the fat bastard?

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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    Hi and welcome to the Ask the Chef thread.

    If you have a genuine question about Cooking,here is your very own resident Chef(s)

    Are there any other poorly paid, burger flipping Expat Chefs on the Board.? if so you have to be a trained Chef,not one of these numpty google searching toss pots that thinks he can turn his hand to anything regarding cooking,just with a quick Google search.

    I haven't really posted many comments about the Abominations in some of the cookery threads,but please feel free to post link or post photo that you want reviewed.though it has to be your own cookery effort.

    Any tips or advice you want please fire way.
    Fuck me, you really have tickets on yourself, don't ya?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    I have a male corpse in my place that I've just freshly sodomised and killed and I fancy a curry, but am too bloodstained to venture out.

    How would I go about locating the best cuts? spare ribs is tempting
    Should I shave the hair off the arse cheeks before seasoning?



    Or should I just spit roast the fat bastard?
    He's still alive, and once he gets outta your closet he's going to subject you to Techno
    and ricksmeg's greatest hits
    You were so high it was his Mastiff Knobbler you buggered and he's got a special delivery for you

    La Tlmes
    Last edited by david44; 24-10-2016 at 02:08 AM.

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    been out mushroom picking in the forests of Kent ,returned with lots, but I have one here that I am not sure of,so I want to check to see if it's edible .
    What is the internet site that you can display a plant to and it identifies it for you.

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    When in doubt test on mother-in-law fly Agarics from Knatts Bottom are strong

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    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi View Post
    been out mushroom picking in the forests of Kent ,returned with lots, but I have one here that I am not sure of,so I want to check to see if it's edible .
    What is the internet site that you can display a plant to and it identifies it for you.
    Funny you should say that was looking for a website for the same thing,never had much look in finding what i wanted. there's around 15.000 different types.

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    Pat Chef's wear short white jackets,not the long white ones.

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    I have a male corpse in my place that I've just freshly sodomised and killed and I fancy a curry, but am too bloodstained to venture out.

    How would I go about locating the best cuts? spare ribs is tempting
    Should I shave the hair off the arse cheeks before seasoning?



    Or should I just spit roast the fat bastard?

  17. #17
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    Well ... this thread seems to be travelling well.

    Me? I burn water.

    Indeed, in the past, when I've have had a new gf, I've invited her for dinner, mucked it up somehow, proving my mass incompetence in the Kitchen and, thankfully, never asked to cook again.

    Works for me.

    Maybe I should follow this thread closely ... I could learn to do this ... http://statics.vayagif.com/gifs/2013....webm?cb=80528


    .
    Last edited by David48atTD; 24-10-2016 at 04:27 AM. Reason: Added the flip gif

    “Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago”

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi View Post
    been out mushroom picking in the forests of Kent ,returned with lots, but I have one here that I am not sure of,so I want to check to see if it's edible .
    What is the internet site that you can display a plant to and it identifies it for you.
    Funny you should say that was looking for a website for the same thing,never had much look in finding what i wanted. there's around 15.000 different types.
    I should have asked Dragon fly, he would have known as he always posts interesting information.

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    Go on. Comment on the food in the other threads, since you're the expert.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    Go on. Comment on the food in the other threads, since you're the expert.
    Willy Willy Willy

    You getting a bit touchy.?

    As I posted in the OP,I will only comment on food that is posted by the person who cooks the food.

    Don't worry I won't be insulting your photos,from past efforts.

  21. #21
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    When's some flash bastard going to post up a proper recipe?

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    Be first Pat show us your culinary expertise.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chico View Post
    Be first Pat show us your culinary expertise.
    How about you show yours first?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    When's some flash bastard going to post up a proper recipe?
    OK, here's my offering, but be warned, it takes talent and art, not just science.

    Cup of Coffee.
    Place one heaped teaspoon of instant coffee into a freshly prepared mug.
    Pour over very hot, but not quite boiling water.
    Stir.

    I recommend you don't try this unless you are completely comfortable in the kitchen.

    Is that flash enough for you Pat?
    Your welcome.

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    Well we recently had a golf pro who was about to take up a position in Chiang Mai posting while taking a sabatical from being a black female paramedic, so why not a Michelin starred chef like Chico?.

    This should be a great thread .

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