Thread: CSI:TD - get on this case if you can

I was going to put this in world news, but it's just so bizarre and I can't see the serious comments lasting long.....

Dead Brit found at Malaga Airport had 'slice of ham on each buttock' and 'genitals in tuna can'. Steven Allford, 51, was found with his hands and feet bound with plastic ties on Friday, 21 October.

William Watkinson By William Watkinson
October 23, 2016 10:28 BST

Police in Spain are investigating after a British citizen was found dead at a Spanish airport with a slice of ham on each buttock and his genitals in an open tuna can, say reports.

Police have named the man found dead in strange circumstances as Steven Allford, a 51-year-old British national who also had his hands and feet bound by plastic ties and his trousers pulled down.

Allford's body was discovered by a security guard on a bench at Malaga Airport in an area popular with homeless people between the airport's train station and the terminal building.

Investigators are working to determine if the strategic placing of food on his body was a message sent by criminals or a practical joke by those that discovered the body on Friday, 21 October.

Detectives are awaiting the results of a postmortem but believe he may have been asphyxiated due to choking or throttling. Reports say that clothes found nearby have been taken away for analysis and documents found on a trolley at the airport identified the man.

A Spanish source said to The Sun: "The state in which the body was found had triggered an investigation and we are attempting to find out more about the circumstances. His trousers had been pulled down suggesting a sexual assault or rape may have been attempted after his hands were bound.

"We still have no idea whether he was a tourist who missed a flight or an ex-pat living locally. We have no idea what he was doing there. Foul play is suspected and it is being taken very seriously."

Spanish media reported that the body showed no visible signs of violence with a postmortem examination due to be carried out at Málaga's Institute of Medicine.

According to The Mirror, which reported the grim circumstances around the man's death, the area was cordoned off by police after the discovery while officers examine CCTV and try to determine if Allford had missed a flight leaving the airport.

A Foreign Office spokesperson could not confirm the identity of the victim or where he was from in the UK. She said: "We are in contact with local authorities following reports of the death of a British man in Spain."

Dead Brit found with ham his buttocks and 'genitals in tuna can'

Yawn

https://teakdoor.com/world-news/17003...a-mystery.html (Malaga Mystery)

Yeah you didn't get the ham and tuna did you?

Rubbish link.

It's clear he is the victim of two other men.
They were trying to make a club sandwich.

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Yeah you didn't get the ham and tuna did you?

Rubbish link.

e's not wrong.

I'm overwhelmed with your linkage

Are you in the sausage trade?

I wonder who he was caught having an affair with...

The butchers daughter?
The fishmongers daughter?

Some pig with a halibut pie?

Intriguing stuff...

Surely this is a bizarre publicity stunt for the next episode of "Bones".

Obviously someone doesn't quite grasp what a spit roast is.

no Doubt a photo fit of the killer will look like this

Spanish surf and turf weekend with the lads went wrong.

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Dead Brit found at Malaga Airport had 'slice of ham on each buttock' and 'genitals in tuna can'.

bloke was a pig with fishy smelling junk...

there must be some message for someone, probably an inside joke for the killers

We need to see the videos.

With hands and feet bound, it's bound to be murder.

Originally Posted by wasabi

With hands and feet bound, it's bound to be murder.

Not necessarily, there was a Chinese contortionist on the Royal Variety performance who could easily have choked herself after placing slices of ham on her buttocks. Obviously, she would not have been able to put her genitals in a tin of tuna as she did not have the sort of genitals which would suit. Nevertheless, these things are possible. I could not have done these things as I am a fat bastard and I don't like tuna.

Can are you still in the valleys.

Never sold the mansion then.

Originally Posted by Chico

Can are you still in the valleys.

Never sold the mansion then.

My estate is still for sale.

Originally Posted by wasabi

With hands and feet bound, it's bound to be murder.

Maybe not. Could be a weird sex game gone wrong....

Latest report is that he suffocated on his own vomit and had drunk copious amounts of alcohol. Sorry linking not possible from my phone...The Independent

BTW...tuna in Spanish could mean the fruit...prickly pear...sick joke after the event?

Originally Posted by kingwilly

a weird sex game

only weird to you willy - the fish and pig poke has been happening for a while - all the cool kids do it

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Maybe not. Could be a weird sex game gone wrong....

Not that weird when you think of some of the shit that goes on...

I think he just slipped and fell while having dinner at the Airport Restaurant...

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Police in Spain are investigating after a British citizen was found dead at a Spanish airport with a slice of ham on each buttock and his genitals in an open tuna can, say reports. Steven Allford, 51, was found with his hands and feet bound with plastic ties.

Obviously suicide.
Or a bucks night gone wrong.

Originally Posted by Cujo

a slice of ham on each buttock

or cold pizza for hire?

Maybe it was some form of stag-do prank - y'know, get your mate mortally drunk, tie him up, put his knob in a tin of tuna and leave him to miss his flight...only he didn't wake up...